China DOS Union

Funny chat typos from the Smart ABC input method
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http://tech.tom.com　 October 29, 2002　　Source: PConline　　

I'm lazy by nature, so when chatting on QQ I've always used the easy-to-learn, easy-to-use Smart ABC input method. And because I'm rather careless, I've made quite a few jokes out of myself. Here are a few examples. (If you don't believe it, try typing them yourselves.)


1. -What's your favorite place to hang out?
　 -Internet turtle
　　-Which internet turtle? (Internet café)
　　-Feiyu Internet turtle. (Feiyu Internet Café) (The owner of Feiyu must be about to sneeze.)

2. -Hey, are you there?
　　-Godmother?

3. -Have you heard of Gao Mingjun?
　　-Yeah, I've heard his song "My Belly in the Wind and Rain." (Belly in the wind and rain? It should be "Alone," right!)

4. -I'll treat you to a drink.
　　-Okay, if I don't get drunk I'm a turtle. (should be "I won't go home without getting drunk"

5. -Sigh!
　 -Why are you so sentimental? You're nothing like a funny young girl. (should be "girl in the bloom of youth"

6. -A deeply affectionate^^^ boy to a girl:
　 -To have one chicken of understanding in life is enough to die without regret. ("confidant"

7. -Where are you?
　 -I'm in the internet turtle!!!

8. -Did you study last night?
　　-Syphilis!

9. -What software do you use to watch VCDs?
　 -Super Stutterer. (Super Jieba)

10. -Are you tall?
　 -I'm very fond of laughing. ("short and small"
　 -Are you nuts!

11. -Why aren't you talking?
　 -Can't you feel that I'm applying to gaze at you right now? ("deeply"
　 -No need to apply, go ahead.

12. -Do you eat a lot?
　 -At my most mouths, I've eaten 8 steamed buns. ("at most"
　 -So how many mouths do you have now?

13. -Who was that person you ran into today?
　 -*** principal arrogance ("principal"
　 (The principal is fierce.)

14. -What's fun in Shenzhen?
　 -Window of the world's hemorrhoids! ("Window of the World"
　 ………………

15. -I'm going offline first, good night
　 -Digging disaster. (To type "good night" you have to enter wan'an; if you type wanan it turns into "digging disaster."
　 -What?

16. -Are you free tomorrow?
　　-No! My cousin is coming back from Australia tomorrow, I'm going to hijack a plane!
　　-Hijack a plane? I'm calling 110!
　　-Ugh! I meant I'm going to meet him at the airport

A funny version of how each department classifies junior girls
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http://tech.tom.com　 October 28, 2002　　Source: Southern Net　　

Biology Department:

　　Freshman year: Minerals — maybe if you dig you'll find treasure, maybe you'll dig up a runner
　　Sophomore year: Plants — ugly ones are nutritious, pretty ones will poison you if you eat them
　　Junior year: Animals — the obedient ones are okay, the fierce ones are dangerous
　　Senior year: Monsters — watch out! Godzilla is coming

Law Department:

　　Freshman year: Civil Law Article 802 — ownerless property, first occupier wins
　　Sophomore year: Civil Law Article 808 — buried objects belong to the discoverer
　　Junior year: Civil Law Article 803 — lost property belongs to the finder if unclaimed after public notice
　　Senior year: "Waste" under the Waste Disposal Act

But nowadays in universities, men and women are equal, so boys can classify junior girls, and girls of course should also classify boys. According to
the view of a senior junior girl:

Freshman boys are like mutts — they hide when they see girls
　　Sophomore boys turn into lapdogs — they wag when they see girls
　　Junior boys are hunting dogs — they chase when they see girls
　　Senior boys are mad dogs — they bite when they see girls

I'm dizzy。。。。。。

I think it's still okay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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