Virgin Identification Method (Hilarious) - China DOS Union Forum

First move: I'm really innocent method

　　The sea breeze gently blows past the four hands you are holding tightly, the waves lap at the four feet you are chasing with. The bright moon gradually rises, you lightly draw the girl into your arms and kiss her passionately. Suddenly your heart starts pounding, your limbs tremble, your breathing quickens, and you stammer to her: “You'll get pregnant if we do this. If that happens we're finished. What do we do?” Observe her reaction:

　　1 Bursts out laughing and calls you ignorant――not a virgin

　　2 Her face slowly turns red, she melts into your arms, and softly says, “Really?”――also not

3 Her face slowly turns pale, and with a trembling voice says, “Then what do we do?”――not necessarily

4 Within three days she secretly buys an early pregnancy test strip or goes to the obstetrics and gynecology hospital――congratulations! congratulations!

　　Taboo: don't use this if your girlfriend is an OB-GYN doctor or nurse

　　Second move: premarital education method

　　About to step into the hall of marriage, now comes the premarital education class. With seriousness, sincerity, longing, excitement (if you feel sick, go home and puke later), say to your girlfriend: “Let's take careful notes, it'll be good for our married life later.” Then find a way to get hold of your girlfriend's notes.

　　1 If all she wrote down are key points and essentials――not

　　2 If she wrote down nothing at all――not

　　3 If the notes are very detailed and include annotations――not necessarily

　　4 If she can't make sense of it, there are lots of question marks, and she even drew sketches――congratulations! congratulations!

　　Drawback: if she isn't, it'll be too late for regrets.

　　Third move: direct attack method

　　On payday, first go stroll around the department store, then wander around the park, then go get something to eat, and also watch a movie. As night grows deeper, there are fewer and fewer people around, and your girlfriend becomes more and more intoxicated. Repeat the same actions introduced in the first move, gaze at her affectionately, gather your courage, hesitate as if you want to speak but stop yourself (if you can't do it, watch more Qiong Yao TV dramas), and when she can hardly wait any longer for you to say those three words, directly ask: “Are you a virgin”!

　　1 She asks you back: “Do you truly love me?” ――not

　　2 She cries, says nothing――not

　　3 She slaps you across the mouth, and it really hurts――not

　　4 After a long silence, she says when she was little she bathed together with her brother and doesn't know whether she still is――congratulations! congratulations!

　　Drawback: you risk losing the virgin girl who truly loves you

Floor1　红色狂想	Posted 2003-10-29 00:00
金牌会员　Posts 1,501　Credits 4,289　From 河南省
First move: I'm really innocent method 　　The sea breeze gently blows past the four hands you are holding tightly, the waves lap at the four feet you are chasing with. The bright moon gradually rises, you lightly draw the girl into your arms and kiss her passionately. Suddenly your heart starts pounding, your limbs tremble, your breathing quickens, and you stammer to her: “You'll get pregnant if we do this. If that happens we're finished. What do we do?” Observe her reaction: 　　1 Bursts out laughing and calls you ignorant――not a virgin 　　2 Her face slowly turns red, she melts into your arms, and softly says, “Really?”――also not 3 Her face slowly turns pale, and with a trembling voice says, “Then what do we do?”――not necessarily 4 Within three days she secretly buys an early pregnancy test strip or goes to the obstetrics and gynecology hospital――congratulations! congratulations! 　　Taboo: don't use this if your girlfriend is an OB-GYN doctor or nurse 　　Second move: premarital education method 　　About to step into the hall of marriage, now comes the premarital education class. With seriousness, sincerity, longing, excitement (if you feel sick, go home and puke later), say to your girlfriend: “Let's take careful notes, it'll be good for our married life later.” Then find a way to get hold of your girlfriend's notes. 　　1 If all she wrote down are key points and essentials――not 　　2 If she wrote down nothing at all――not 　　3 If the notes are very detailed and include annotations――not necessarily 　　4 If she can't make sense of it, there are lots of question marks, and she even drew sketches――congratulations! congratulations! 　　Drawback: if she isn't, it'll be too late for regrets. 　　Third move: direct attack method 　　On payday, first go stroll around the department store, then wander around the park, then go get something to eat, and also watch a movie. As night grows deeper, there are fewer and fewer people around, and your girlfriend becomes more and more intoxicated. Repeat the same actions introduced in the first move, gaze at her affectionately, gather your courage, hesitate as if you want to speak but stop yourself (if you can't do it, watch more Qiong Yao TV dramas), and when she can hardly wait any longer for you to say those three words, directly ask: “Are you a virgin”! 　　1 She asks you back: “Do you truly love me?” ――not 　　2 She cries, says nothing――not 　　3 She slaps you across the mouth, and it really hurts――not 　　4 After a long silence, she says when she was little she bathed together with her brother and doesn't know whether she still is――congratulations! congratulations! 　　Drawback: you risk losing the virgin girl who truly loves you

Floor2　沈洁	Posted 2003-10-29 00:00
金牌会员　Posts 1,812　Credits 4,590　From 上海市
This is seriously too much! Haha

Floor3　如是大师	Posted 2003-11-02 00:00
元老会员　Posts 3,351　Credits 9,654　From 湖北
Kid's stuff!

Floor4　红色狂想	Posted 2003-11-03 00:00
金牌会员　Posts 1,501　Credits 4,289　From 河南省
Hehe, I was just waiting for someone like you to give an opinion, and you actually said this is kid's stuff! Then what non-kid's stuff do you have?

Floor5　谈何容易	Posted 2004-01-04 00:00
初级用户　Posts 6　Credits 112
Bump

Floor6　qinqong	Posted 2004-01-05 00:00
高级用户　Posts 148　Credits 599
The OP really is an expert

Floor7　MYS	Posted 2004-01-05 00:00
元老会员　Posts 1,637　Credits 5,170　From 广东佛山
It really is a bit childish; this kind of post shouldn't be encouraged either.