China DOS Union

: "The Love Law of the People's Republic of China"


General Provisions Article 1 In order to regulate romantic behavior, protect the lawful rights and interests of the parties in romantic activities, maintain social order in matters of love, and promote the broad and healthy development of romance under the conditions of the socialist market economy, this Law is hereby formulated.

Article 2 This Law applies to romantic activities within the territory of the People's Republic of China.

Article 3 Romantic activities shall abide by laws and administrative regulations, and must not harm the public interest of society.

Article 4 The "love rights" referred to in this Law mean the rights of a person in love to love and to be loved. When a person in love exercises love rights, it shall be done according to statutory procedures. The "love responsibilities" referred to in this Law mean the time, money, energy, etc. that a person in love puts into the course of the relationship.

Article 5 A party to a romantic relationship may entrust an agent to act on his or her behalf in love matters, and shall indicate the agency relationship during the relationship. If someone romances another in the name of an agent without agency authority, the agent shall bear the love responsibilities; if the agent exceeds the scope of authority, he or she shall bear the love responsibilities for the part exceeding that authority.

Article 6 If a person without capacity for romantic conduct or a person with limited capacity for romantic conduct falls in love, it shall be deemed puppy love, and such romance is invalid, but this does not affect the validity of other romances. Citizens under the age of 14 do not possess capacity for romantic conduct.

Article 7 Whoever obtains love by fraud, coercion, or other such means, or knowingly obtains love in bad faith under the preceding circumstances, shall not enjoy love rights.

Article 8 The beloved may not use romantic matters between himself or herself and a third party as grounds of defense against the suitor. However, this does not apply where the suitor knowingly has such grounds of defense. "Defense" in this Law means the act whereby a person in love refuses a suitor's courtship in accordance with this Law.

Article 9 When both parties exercise love rights, it shall be done at the business premises of the parties to the relationship; if the parties have no business premises, it shall be done at their residence.

Chapter 1 Courtship Article 10 Courtship means the expression of intent made directly or indirectly by the suitor to the beloved by various means, requesting the beloved to grant a corresponding degree of affection.

Article 11 A courtship must state the following matter: "I love you." If the courtship does not state the matter prescribed in the preceding paragraph, the courtship is invalid.

Article 12 If such matters as "how I fell in love with you," "how long I have loved you," and "how deeply I love you" are stated during courtship, they shall be clear and explicit. If "how I fell in love with you" is not stated in the courtship, it shall be deemed love at first sight. If "how long I have loved you" is not stated in the courtship, the person's age from birth shall prevail. If "how deeply I love you" is not stated in the courtship, the moon represents his (her) heart.

Article 13 During courtship, matters other than those prescribed by this Law may be stated, but such matters shall have no effect in the courtship.

Article 14 Once the suitor has made the courtship, he or she then assumes responsibility.

Article 15 Love rights are extinguished if not exercised within the following time limits: (1) the suitor's right of courtship toward the beloved, 9 years 9 months and 9 days from the date affection arises; (2) the suitor's right of recourse against the beloved, 4 years 4 months and 4 days from the rejection of the courtship; (3) the suitor's right of renewed recourse against the beloved, 1 year 1 month and 1 day from the rejection after exercising the right of recourse. The "right of recourse" referred to in this Law means the act whereby the suitor courts the beloved again by various means.

Article 16 The suitor's date of courtship shall be determined by the suitor according to law.

Chapter 2 Transfer Article 17 A person in love may transfer love rights to another person or grant another person the exercise of certain love rights. If the beloved has previously stated "non-transferable," the love may not be transferred.

Article 18 When the holder of love rights exercises the rights prescribed in paragraph 1, he or she shall sign a contract and deliver it to the beloved.

Chapter 3 Acceptance of Courtship Article 19 Acceptance of courtship means the expression of intent by the beloved, after the suitor has made a courtship, to promise to grant the other party a corresponding degree of affection.

Article 20 The beloved shall, within 3 days from the date of the suitor's courtship, either accept the courtship or reject the courtship.

Article 21 If the beloved accepts the courtship, no conditions may be attached; if conditions are attached to the acceptance of courtship, it shall be deemed a rejection of the courtship.

Article 22 If the beloved rejects the courtship, he or she shall state the reasons for rejection to the suitor. The suitor may according to law exercise the right of recourse and the right of renewed recourse.

Chapter 4 Heartbreak Article 23 Heartbreak means losing the love of the one you love, or the person you love no longer loving you.

Article 24 After heartbreak, a person in love may according to law engage in the following acts: 1) in one's own room, lock the door from the inside, cover one's head with a quilt, and sleep for several days and nights, suitable for mild heartbreak; 2) shave one's head bald and become a nun (or monk), suitable for moderate heartbreak; 3) in the bleak north wind, hold one's head and cry in pain facing the Great Wall, suitable for moderate heartbreak; 4) cover one's eyes with a piece of black cloth and jump down from Xiangjiang Bridge — "just drank the waters of Changsha, and became a fish of Wuchang," suitable for severe heartbreak; 5) put one end of a hemp rope over a tall tree and the other around one's neck, thereby bringing a small surprise to people doing morning exercises, suitable for severe heartbreak; acts other than those prescribed by this Law may also be carried out during heartbreak, but they are not protected by law.

Chapter 5 Application of Law to Foreign-Related Romance Article 25 The application of law to foreign-related romance shall be determined in accordance with the provisions of this Chapter.

"Foreign-related romance" in the preceding paragraph means cases in acts such as courtship, rejection of love, romance, heartbreak, etc., where some occur within the territory of the People's Republic of China and some occur outside the territory of the People's Republic of China.

Article 26 Where an international treaty concluded or acceded to by the People's Republic of China contains provisions different from those of this Law, the provisions of the international treaty shall apply, except for clauses to which the People's Republic of China has declared reservations.

Where neither this Law nor an international treaty concluded or acceded to by the People's Republic of China provides for a matter, international custom may be applied.

Article 27 Courtship, rejection of love, romance, heartbreak, and other such acts shall be governed by the law of the place where the act occurs.

Chapter 6 Legal Responsibility

Article 28 Whoever commits any of the following love frauds shall be investigated for criminal responsibility according to law: (1) fraudulent romance to cheat people out of property; (2) malicious transfer of love; (3) impersonating another person's romance in order to cheat people out of love or property; Article 29 Whoever commits any of the acts listed in the preceding article, where the circumstances are minor and do not constitute a crime, shall be given administrative punishment in accordance with relevant state provisions.

Chapter 7 Supplementary Provisions

Article 30 The specific implementation measures for love administration shall be formulated by the China People's Love Committee in accordance with this Law and shall be implemented upon approval by the State Council.

Article 31 This Law shall come into force on Valentine's Day, 2002.

China's Top Ten Outstanding Young People in History

　　Author: open-eyes　

　　1. Kua Fu: the earliest schizophrenia patient with a historical record, fond of streaking under the blazing sun.
He ran wildly toward the sun, claiming he was pursuing the light, ran east in the morning, but by afternoon discovered the sun was in the west. So he kept going back and forth and finally died of heatstroke.

　　2. Shennong: a stubborn practitioner of spacing-out kung fu. In pursuit of his own perfection, he went around collecting miracle elixirs and stuffed into his mouth whatever he could get hold of, eventually dying of food poisoning.

　　3. Jingwei: ignored advice and went swimming in a non-swimming area without permission, and as a result drowned to death. After death she turned into a stupid bird, flying back and forth every day, continuously carrying out the earliest land reclamation project in Chinese history.

　　4. Gong Gong: got into a fight and couldn't win. In a fit of rage, he tore down the house. As a result, heaven tilted to the northwest and the earth was incomplete in the southeast. This caused plate drift and the formation of the circum-Pacific–Himalayan volcanic and earthquake belt, and had a major impact on the formation of China's modern geology and landforms.

　　5. Wei Sheng: an intellectual with a high degree of political consciousness. While Comrade Wei was in love, he happened to encounter a once-in-a-century catastrophic flood. In order to protect state property — a bridge — Comrade Weisheng did not hesitate to jump into the river and block the flood peak with his own body. State property was saved, but Comrade Weisheng gloriously sacrificed himself. Comrade Weisheng died for the interests of the people; his death was weightier than Mount Tai.

　　6. Chang'e: the first Chinese female astronaut to complete a moon landing mission. Facing the camera, Comrade Chang'e excitedly expressed her heartfelt feelings: "For me personally, this is one small step, but for all mankind, it is one giant leap. Here I must first thank my husband Hou Yi. He traveled a great distance to buy me Yaochi brand calcium tablets. Yaochi brand calcium tablets are the designated calcium tablets of the China Space Administration. Take Yaochi brand calcium tablets, good for you, good for me, good for him too."

　　7. Liu Xiahui: an anti-corruption hero and a fine state cadre. A profiteer, in order to win over and corrupt a state cadre, resorted to the most despicable method — sexual bribery. He hired some escort girl to give Comrade Liu Xiahui a massage, but Liu sternly refused. Comrade Liu Xiahui never touched corruption, truly worthy of being called a fine servant of the people. He was awarded the title of China's Most Proper Man, and was presented with a silk banner and certificate, and entrusted by the organization with important responsibilities. But the profiteers shamelessly spread rumors and slandered him, saying that Comrade Liu Xiahui suffered from severe sexual dysfunction.

　　8. Meng Jiangnü: a famous terrorist in Chinese history. In order to avenge the terrorist gang — her own husband — she used a human bomb to destroy the famous national defense project in Chinese history — the Great Wall.

　　9. Hua Mulan: Hua Mulan's father, influenced by the idea of valuing sons over daughters, wanted both himself and his son to evade military service, so he had Comrade Hua Mulan fraudulently take someone else's place in the army. Comrade Hua Mulan fought bravely and tenaciously in battle, personally killing many enemy officers. She grew from an ordinary rural woman into a glorious special-grade female battle hero, and was honorably received by the leaders of the Party and the state.

　　10. Judge Bao: Mayor of Kaifeng, concurrently Director of the Municipal Public Security Bureau, concurrently Chief Procurator, concurrently President of the Kaifeng Intermediate People's Court, and academician of the Chinese Academy of Sciences. Authorized by the Party Central Committee and the State Council to sentence criminals directly to death without first obtaining approval from the Supreme People's Court, Comrade Bao, acting on the principle of leniency for confession and even greater severity for resistance, deprived all criminals of their right to defense and related rights, and used a special instrument of punishment — the guillotine blade — to chop off the heads of a large number of heinous criminals. He struck hard at the arrogant flames of a tiny handful of criminals, making the enemy tremble at the very mention of him, and safeguarded the prosperity and stable development of the nation's economic construction.

Meteor Vegetable Garden


Prologue: In a faraway place, there was a very large vegetable garden. The people in the garden worked the fields every day without rest. Because there was plenty of sunlight and relatively little pollution of the soil and water, the crops they grew were especially tasty, and everyone lived prosperously.

In this vegetable garden there were four richest rich peasants.

Dao Minsi: born into a family that specialized in growing rice. Because he grew it so well, he was respectfully called "the peasant who grows rice," abbreviated as "Dao Min." Since the "Dao Min" family had settled in the vegetable garden, by the time of "Dao Minsi" he was already the fourth generation, so his father "Dao Minsan" gave his son this name. This guy had been spoiled since childhood. Relying on the fact that his family was a major grain grower in the garden, he bullied people everywhere. He looked down on vegetable growers the most, often saying: "If eating vegetables could fill you up, what would you need rice for?"

Hua Zelei: liked growing flowers, and every month would go into town to choose all kinds of flowers and bring them back to plant, calling himself "Hua Ze." But others saw that he worked so hard growing flowers, like some flower-crazy fool, and would sigh: "Tired, really tired." After a long time, people simply called him "Hua Zelei" or "Lei."

Xi Men: specialized in performing plays. Watching plays was the only entertainment activity in the vegetable garden, but tickets were very expensive. Some people who couldn't afford tickets would ask him for them whenever they saw him. Since they all knew each other in the same garden, he found it hard to refuse out of consideration. In order to remember this chance to watch plays for free, the poor people would remind themselves when they saw "Xi Men": "the ticket for the play has come," abbreviated as "Xi Men is here." "Xi Men" also had a hobby: he liked eating vegetables. What he often said was: "The shelf life of vegetables is one week."

Mei Zuo: this guy had a very good business sense. He hired a bunch of people to farm for him, and got rich by exploiting surplus value. He didn't have to farm himself; every day in the garden he just sat there fussing with his flowing and abnormal long hair. The people he exploited angrily mocked him as "having nothing to do," abbreviated as "Mei Zuo."

These four people formed F4, meaning Fruit4, four handsome men as lovely as fruit. Together F4 raced walking tractors and acted cool. If they didn't like the look of someone, they would stick a big red slip of paper in that person's field, with "It'll be dead ！" written on it, meaning they were going to ruin your vegetable patch, make everything you planted die, and finally force you to leave the garden.

F4's life did not change until a girl named "Shan Cai" appeared.

Shan Cai: lived in a vegetable garden in a remote mountain area, was modest and eager to learn, worked hard at studying planting techniques, and planted a small patch of Chinese cabbage at her door.

But she only studied vegetable-growing knowledge and not rice cultivation, which made "Dao Minsi" furious:
"If eating vegetables could fill you up, what would you need rice for?" He immediately drove his "Jianghuai" brand walking tractor to "Shan Cai's" home. Unexpectedly, "Shan Cai" was very stubborn; not only would she not listen to him, she even called him "Pighead Si, big bastard!" In a fit of rage, "Dao Minsi"

stuck a red slip of paper in "Shan Cai's" field, and then gathered the other members of F4 one night after "Shan Cai" had harvested her Chinese cabbage. Thinking themselves very creative, they carried four sacks of salt on their backs and sprinkled it over the cabbage, hoping to make it so salty no one would eat it. The next day, after "Shan Cai" discovered all this, she held the cabbage and wept bitterly. She couldn't bear to throw away her beloved cabbage, so that night she stir-fried a bowl and ate it. Unexpectedly, it was salty, sour, and astonishingly delicious. She studied it with great concentration and finally invented pickled cabbage, and after unremitting effort she also developed dried preserved mustard greens, which sold well throughout the entire vegetable garden. From then on people changed "Shan Cai's" name to "Suan Cai" (Pickled Cabbage). (It is said that the living Lei Fengs in that northeastern region most like serving out-of-town guests a dish of pickled cabbage.)

At this point "Dao Minsi" regretted what he had done. "Xi Men" advised him: "The shelf life of vegetables is only one week. But this pickled cabbage keeps for a long time and tastes good. You absolutely have to win over 'Shan Cai'." "Mei Zuo" also said:
"Whatever, this pickled cabbage tastes fantastic and goes great with rice. If you join hands with 'Shan Cai,' your rice will sell even better." For the sake of his own business, and so he could eat fresh pickled cabbage every day, "Dao Minsi" also made up his mind. But misfortune comes unexpectedly. Don't be fooled by the fact that "Hua Zelei" usually only knew how to grow flowers — when it counted, he moved fast. Every day he sent flowers to "Shan Cai," and even bought from town a kind of flower called fireworks to put on a display for her. Before long he had made "Shan Cai" full of longing for him. Because of this, "Dao Minsi" almost broke off relations with "Hua Zelei." Luckily "Mei Zuo" said: "Isn't our friendship more important than your rice?" and only then was the conflict eased.

Fortunately, later "Shan Cai" discovered that this "Hua Zelei" not only liked growing flowers, but really was a playboy — he was secretly in love with a pretty girl in town named Fujido Shizuka. Thinking that "Lei" had no real future anyway, she angrily broke up with him. "Dao Minsi"

seized the chance to pursue "Shan Cai" more closely, and after many twists and turns, the two ended up together.

Ending: "Dao Minsi" and "Shan Cai" sit side by side, holding a bowl of white rice with pickled cabbage in their hands. Gazing into the night sky, a meteor streaks across, the picture freezes, and the background music starts: "I'll go watch the meteor shower with you, falling on this vegetable patch, let your drool flow onto my shoulder..."

Men's Lies, Live Recording
Date: April 18, 2002 20:03

A man's greatest strength is being able to make lies sound just like the truth, and you can't help but believe them. If you don't want to be
fooled by his beautiful lies, you must cultivate your own power of judgment. And among all men's lies, the lies of married men are the most
lethal! So let's first expose men's lies in extramarital relationships!


　　1. Lying to create an opportunity: "Xiaomin, can you work overtime today? I hope you can help me do something, and I also need you to..."


　　Use your brain a little: men do lie to create opportunities. Is that job really urgent? If the overtime doesn't even last
thirty minutes and then he wants to treat you to dinner, then the overtime is undoubtedly a lie.


　　2. The lie in the invitation: "Xiaomin, thanks for working overtime for me. Let's go to a restaurant you like, my treat."


　　Keep your eyes open: treating you to a meal is their habitual trick. Letting you pick a familiar place is to create a sense of
safety. He'd never be stupid enough to take you to an area he often goes to and arouse suspicion.


　　3. Lying during the confession too: "I haven't had such a pleasant time in ages, and I really can't bear to leave you. (stares at you
affectionately) Ah, but I don't have the confidence to pursue you, haha!" (laughs heartily)


　　You need to stay clear-headed: this move is really insidious. He first makes his intentions known, then steps back and pushes the choice onto you.
If you're even a tiny bit soft-hearted, then even if you clearly understand his intentions, you'll still unconsciously and foolishly be moved.


　　4. Lying through promises: "In the future I will definitely give you happiness. After a while, I will definitely do this and that..."


　　Please understand: this is pure hot air. He never gives a specific time, absolutely never. He makes you keep your hopes fixed
on some moment in the future forever. The more he talks, the vaguer it gets, but the more specific your dream becomes.


　　5. Lying in order to break up: "I'm sorry, I can't get divorced anymore. My daughter is sick, terminally ill. I didn't want to tell you,
but I can't hold you back..."


　　See him clearly for what he is: he tells you the reason for the breakup with snot and tears all over his face just so he can wait for you to say, "Fine, I agree to leave
you." If you just keep declaring that you can wait for him, he will immediately show an anxious, despairing look. If he's not very deep or subtle,
he may even fly into a rage and reveal his straightforward true nature.

The last one is a bit better.

Has the Love Law been submitted to the National People's Congress for deliberation yet????????????????????