China DOS Union

Train Romance
On the day I broke up with yang·Y, I saw yang·Y smile for the first time. The first time we met, yang·Y sat quietly across from me the whole time, listening to our group ramble on about all sorts of things—computer games, pop idols, even TV commercials. When we got onto the countless VCD ads, yang·Y finally spoke. I only remember that we were talking about BBK VCD, and the ad line came from a Cantonese tune called “Step by Step Higher”: “There is justice in this world; every effort will be rewarded.” Her voice was very pleasant. When she spoke, her tone was light, and there was not the slightest smile on her face. Even so, she still made people feel close to her. I stared at her for a long time without restraint, the really impolite kind of staring. At the time I was in a bad mood. I was in a hurry to find a job, and after finally making it to W City for an interview, I still wasn't hired. This counted as the first really major setback I'd met with since growing up. I had wanted to sit quietly by myself and think about nothing, but unfortunately I happened to sit beside a young lady and became the silver hairpin on the Queen Mother of the West's head, forcibly separating a pair of lovers. Oh, I forgot to mention, that day happened to be February 14, Valentine's Day. No matter how bad my mood was, I still had to help bring about a happy ending, right? Amid that young fellow's profuse thanks, I was led to the seat in front of yang·Y. I thought, good deeds are still rewarded after all; at least there's a pretty girl sitting across from me to look at, so why not look? To tell the truth, I was attracted to her at once. Her petite, delicate face, those eyes black as night and bright as stars, that expression that never seemed to smile—you've seen a rabbit, haven't you? Gentle and lovable, yet carrying a good deal of wariness—she sat there quietly across from me just like that. I stared at her, seized by an urge to know her better. There seemed to be a trace of mist in her eyes, and I couldn't help wondering what worries this girl might have. Before, I had never understood what “one can't help feeling tender pity on seeing her” meant. In that instant, I finally understood. I felt a powerful impulse, an impulse to draw her into my arms and listen carefully as she told me all her worries, everything about her. I very much wanted to chat with her, but I didn't know how to begin. Ah well, I'll just keep looking at her then.
The train was going very fast. It arrived in N City at two in the middle of the night. yang·Y was getting off. Good heavens, this was the first time in my life I thought a train was fast—could this be “relativity”? The train was crowded, of course, because it was the Spring Festival travel rush. Naturally, and very gentlemanly, I helped her carry her luggage. I don't know where the courage came from, but I asked her for her mailing address, on the excuse that perhaps I would write to her! I don't know whether that was right or wrong, but I did know that if I didn't ask, I'd never be able to contact her again. I didn't want to let her pass me by. Today was February 14; maybe it was arranged by heaven? From the slip of paper she handed me, I learned yang·Y's name for the first time. I saw her off the train. I remember she said on the train that her school was very far away, and there wouldn't be a bus there until daylight. I suddenly had the impulse to stay behind and keep her company in the waiting room until dawn! But I couldn't. I still had to go back and keep trying hard to find work. After watching her leave the station, I returned to the train as well.
To be continued
January 7, 2000, 3:09, at the Huazhong Net Bureau Guesthouse

Is it really original?
Looking forward to the continuation!

Ha~ can't wait anymore... ko is really amazing~!

Where's the continuation? What a tease. OP, can you post the continuation?

Damn, idiot

At the instant the bus was about to start moving, he suddenly broke out of the pain of parting and shouted to yang·Y on the platform with a smile, “Come on, give me a smile! I like the way you smile best!” yang·Y lifted her face and forced herself to show a smile. Even so, he still felt her smile was radiant. This was the first time he had seen yang·Y smile. That smile was so radiant that it made his heart ache. The bus started moving, and yang·Y's smiling face quickly swept past the window and disappeared. In his heart he prayed silently, hoping that from now on she would have peace and joy, with smiles unbroken. He tried hard to recall yang·Y's smile, but couldn't remember it at all. When yang·Y broke into a smile, the whole street lit up, like a street under the blazing summer sun, so bright that it became a blank whiteness, all details blurred. He knew he had lost her forever. She had originally wanted to see him off at the train station, afraid something might happen if he got drunk, but he insisted she not. He didn't like the feeling of parting at a train station. Besides, that last parting at the train station had given him an ominous feeling that they would eventually break up. He hadn't expected it to come true. That made him hate train stations very much. The first time he and yang·Y met was on a train. The night of February 14, 1998, Valentine's Day—he would remember it forever. But now he had no fondness at all for train stations or for trains. The city bus passed through town, and the streets were very crowded. It happened to pass a school, and this was the second day of the college entrance exams; the afternoon exam had just ended, and the streets were full of yellow shirts. Looking at those faces full of youthful spirit only made him feel that his own mood had sunk to the bleakest extreme. He got off the bus and entered the train station, thinking that yang·Y's train left two hours later than his own; by the time she arrived in the waiting hall, he would already be on another train. Though he knew it was impossible, and knew that even if he saw her they would have nothing to say, he still held onto that tiny hope in his heart: could he see her one more time? That hope was like a blade of grass in a crack in the rock, stubbornly lifting its head. He sat in the waiting hall in utter boredom, slowly recalling what had happened over the past two days.
Summer vacation was almost here, and he was planning to go to her place and invite her to travel with him to L Mountain near N City. Yes, travel, that was a good idea. Hadn't she always complained that there was no time to get to know each other better? To go to beautiful L Mountain and have a good time for a few days, the two of them happily enjoying a romantic holiday—wouldn't that be nice? As it happened, the work on his hands had also just come to an end, so taking a few days off wouldn't be a problem. No sooner said than done: he asked for leave, bought a train ticket to N City, and called her that evening. When he asked about her plans for the summer vacation, she said she was going to her uncle's place to work and learn some computer skills. He said, how about we go travel to L Mountain first, and then when the time comes I'll see you back to W City—I'm going back to W City anyway, so it's on the way. She said no; she had already arranged with classmates to go back together, and she had also already told her uncle's side that she'd go back as soon as vacation started. He insisted on going to N City, saying that even if they didn't go traveling, just seeing her would be good enough. After that, she didn't say anything more.

January 22, 2004 (the first day of the Lunar New Year), after midnight, in the control room
To be continued...

Keep going

Ah, so what happened in the end?

After another three hours of travel, I returned to J City.
I looked up at the sky; it was very dark.
At that hour there were no vehicles going to my home far out in the suburbs.
I looked down at myself; I was very tired.
It was the darkest hour of the sky, and my life was probably at its bleakest too.
Things with work had come to nothing, and I was slinking back home in defeat. That feeling really wasn't easy to bear.
“There is justice in this world; every effort will be rewarded.”
--Suddenly I remembered yang·Y's words, and I couldn't help showing a faint smile.
Though I had come back this time in low spirits, it wasn't as if there had been no gain at all.
Every effort will be rewarded. Yes, as long as you put in the effort, there will always be some reward.
Whether it's work or love, it all depends on what people do. If you do nothing at all, then there will absolutely be no reward.
In the east I could already see a few stars, and the brightest one was the morning star.
The morning star had appeared, and dawn could not be far off.
I couldn't help thinking: that girl, the girl who sat across from me, the girl who spent Valentine's night with me on the train,
that pretty girl who stirred pity and tenderness in me, the girl named yang·Y—could she be the morning star in my life?
Then a thought suddenly came to me: why not walk home? By the time I got there, it would probably be daylight.
No sooner thought than done, so I started walking home. I had never tried walking back before, and I didn't know how long it would take to get home. But I wasn't worried in the least.
I knew that with every step I took, I was one step closer to my destination. Breathing the fresh morning air, my steps became much lighter too.
Once a person has hope, he can see light in the darkness, can't he?
Thinking for a while about finding work in the future, then for a while about the girl I had met that day, I got home at daybreak. I collapsed onto my own bed and had a wonderful sleep. To be continued (this one should come after the first piece) on 2003-11-06 00:07:10

It's really tiring reading articles on a computer, but the content is pretty good.

Today is Valentine's Day, the 7th anniversary of meeting Yang·Y.
On February 14, 1998, on that Valentine's night, I saw Yang·Y for the first time.
I chatted with her, about computer games, about TV commercials, but for more of the time, I simply looked at her quietly, admired her, even with something savage in the way I did it.
On the train from W City to N City, that was how we spent our first Valentine's Day together. When I saw her off the train, I asked her for her contact address.
Later, we began writing letters. Writing letters really was a pleasant experience. Reading letters, writing letters, receiving letters, replying to letters—we talked about everything, and we were attracted to each other.
Later, we talked on the phone.
Later, we fell in love.
Later, just when I had learned how to love, Yang·Y had already left, vanished into the sea of people, never to be found again.
Later, like all people nursing a broken heart, I spent my days full of longing and memories; whatever I happened to see or hear would connect itself with old memories.
Later, time slowly healed my wounds. The wound closed, but that deep hole buried in it became the place that could least be touched.
Later, I kept wanting to write something about this memory, but never had the time.
Today, on the 7th anniversary of our meeting, sitting in front of the computer, I can't help wanting to write something again. At this moment, I have just seen my wife off back to her mother's home, and I, back in J City, sitting in front of my computer, don't know what exactly I ought to write.
I love my wife. I still miss Yang·Y as well. But I know I am no longer the same me I was before, and Yang·Y is no longer the same Yang·Y either. Even so, I still miss Yang·Y, while loving my wife.

Valentine's night, February 14, 2005, in the dormitory.

Today is Yang·Y's birthday.
Happy birthday! Yang·Y.
I don't know where you are, and I don't know whether you go online. Even if you do, you may not know about this place. But I still want to say it here: happy birthday!

I remember you once said that you really disliked belated blessings, but I don't even know whether my blessing can reach you, so there's no point even talking about it being “late.”

One year, I saw some candies in a shop, some star-shaped, some heart-shaped, colorful and very pretty. So I told you I'd mail some to you then and count them as a Valentine's gift. Only a pauper like me would think of such a cheap Valentine's gift. But just when I was getting ready to prepare that gift, I found that the shop no longer had that kind of candy, so I didn't send it. And so, even such a cheap gift was gone. On Valentine's Day, I talked with you on the phone, and you asked why the gift still hadn't arrived. I told you the truth. Actually I should have lied to you a little; I should have framed the telecom company and said they must have lost my gift. Maybe you would have felt a little better inside.
A few days ago I went strolling through the supermarket with my wife, and I saw that kind of candy again, some star-shaped, some oval-shaped, colorful and very pretty. Only there weren't any heart-shaped ones. I looked at them again and again and wanted to buy some to take back. My wife thought I wanted to put them in a glass bottle as decoration, and I didn't tell her. In the end I still didn't buy them. What good would it do if I did? Mail them to you as a birthday gift? Everything is over, isn't it?

I still remember that winter. It wasn't very cold, and I never had the habit of wearing gloves anyway. I heard that you were practicing knitting wool, and at that moment I very much wished I had a pair of gloves, a pair knitted by your own hands, with my surname embroidered on the back and your name embroidered on the palm. I kept asking you for them, and you said with a smile that you might not knit them for me. I always imagined how warm those gloves would feel on my hands, though I was already used to not wearing gloves. Later, sure enough, there weren't any. No gloves, then no gloves. I don't wear gloves in winter anyway.

Yang·Y, I don't know where you are now, and I don't know whether you're doing well now. This is all I can do. This is all I can do. What else can I do, other than quietly blessing you here?

Just now I was watching Triumph in the Skies. Yishan and her former boyfriend broke up because of a misunderstanding, and later she married her ex-boyfriend's best friend. All three of them were in the same airline company and stayed very close to one another, but so what? What's past is only past. Life still has to go on as usual; nothing can possibly be started all over again.

Yang·Y, I still miss you very much, but aside from missing you, I have no other way. Aside from missing you, I still have many other things to do. I still have to renovate my new house, still have to choose home appliances and furniture, still have to go to work, still have to live together with my wife.

Yang·Y, do I love you? I think I do; I once did. Do I still love you now? I think I can no longer say that word anymore. Missing is missing, loving is loving, wanting to love is wanting to love, whether one can love is whether one can love. I remember you once said that we were still too young, and still couldn't bear the weight of this love. You told me not to say love lightly.

Just then my wife called and asked whether I wanted her to bring me some dishes when she came over tonight. I said no need, but she said she'd already made them and would bring them over for me to eat tomorrow at noon, so I wouldn't sleep too long and miss getting food at the cafeteria. What could I do? I could only let her bring them over. My wife is so good to me; it truly is my good fortune.

Do I love my wife? I think I do; I do now. Will I still love my wife in the future? I think I hope so, to keep loving her, love her till old age, love her till death. Maybe I still don't understand what really counts as “love,” but I will do my best to do it, to learn it, to practice it.

Yang·Y, I wish you find your own happiness.

BTW, I think I really was stupid beyond words before. Now there's a very famous duo called TWINS, but they aren't really sisters. And the time when I remembered TWINS most firmly was when you had me guess your relationship with your younger sister. You gave me hint after hint, and I still couldn't guess it. Later you hinted with Twins. I wasn't very familiar with that word either, and in the end you directly told me the answer. I think you must have been terribly disappointed; chatting with a blockhead as stupid and clumsy as me must have been really dull. You said your younger sister's BF was very humorous, very good at talking, very good at making people like him. I'm very sorry that I gave you no sense of pride in that respect.

There's another word, Peakcock, that you taught me too. I remember it very firmly as well.

I hadn't wanted to write any more, but I don't know when I'll have time to say these things again, so while I still remember them, I'll say them all together. Whatever comes to mind, I write, without caring whether it's suitable to write today.

All right, I can't write anymore. Finally, let me bless you once again:
Happy birthday!
May you become more and more beautiful!
May you have a partner whom you love and who loves you.
Free from care! Happy and joyful!

December 26, 2005, in the dormitory

Looking forward to it