China DOS Union

30 decisive and quick ways to dump your girlfriend (Ladies keep out!!)
When you no longer want to continue with your current partner and want to break up with her, but are afraid of hurting her, what should you do?
　　The methods are as follows. As long as you are willing to carry out 3-5 of them, the result will definitely be just as you wish. Believe it or not.

【Note: once you regret it, there will be absolutely no chance to save things!!!】


　　1. While eating (Western food is best), guard the food in front of you tightly with your knife and fork, as if anyone who comes near you will snatch it away, and whenever anyone approaches, make a stabbing motion at them, including the waiter;

　　2. Take all the little condiment bottles on the table and stack them into a pyramid;

　　3. Use the other person's sleeve to wipe your nose or tears (at least twice);

　　4. Make faces at other people you don't know, and snort at their confused reactions;

　　5. Every few.... few words, repeat..... repeat them once (you can pretend to stutter, right);

　　6. While eating, keep reading a book or newspaper and ignore the other person;

　　7. Stare at the other person, grind your teeth hard, and make sure she can hear it;

　　8. Every now and then, have a violent full-body twitch, and when she asks what's wrong, pretend you don't understand what she's saying;

　　9. Every five minutes, stand up once, spread your arms like an airplane, and "fly" one lap around the table;

　　10. Ask the waiter to bring you a bowl of lard;

　　11. Whenever you see a woman in a short skirt, whistle at her or let out weird cries (if it's a dinosaur mm, this trick works even better!);

　　12. Casually make up some lingering love stories about how you and another woman used to be deeply in love;

　　13. When the other person starts talking about herself, take out a harmonica and blow whatever.
If you don't have a harmonica, banging bowls and plates with chopsticks also works very well;

　　14. Don't eat the fish. Use it to worship a god instead: place it at the farthest spot on the table from you, bow to it, and worship it;

　　15. When ordering, be sure to ask the waiter whether the restaurant serves animals to be eaten alive;

　　16. Fight with the other person over the food;

　　17. Drool and smack your lips loudly;

　　18. Chew loudly with your mouth wide open, keep talking even with your mouth full of food, and let food bits spray everywhere;

　　19. Within less than a minute after the dishes arrive, try your hardest to wipe them all out;

　　20. Tell the other person you're going to the restroom, then find the restaurant captain, switch to another table, order another meal, and eat by yourself; when your date finally finds you, don't wait for her to speak—ask first: "Why were you in the restroom so long?"

　　21. Ask the people at the next table whether you can eat their food;

　　22. Ask your partner to tattoo your name on her body (some hidden place would be even better, like her butt), and after being refused, keep bringing it up again and again;

　　23. Ask your partner how much savings she has;

　　24. As soon as you get to the restaurant, find a seat far from the window where you can see all the exits and also have your back against the wall, like a spy in the movies who's afraid of being followed, and act extremely tense and nervous;

　　25. After eating, carefully lick the plate, then ask your partner whether she wants you to lick hers too;

　　26. Keep making loud buzzing sounds from time to time (like a bullfrog);

　　27. Have an argument—with yourself (if you can't do it, go watch Stephen Chow movies for practice);

　　28. Right before paying the bill, if the other person is paying, order the most expensive dish, take one bite, and then never touch it again;

　　29. Take the bones from the table with you and tell her you're bringing them back for your disabled old mother to eat, since this is much cheaper than buying food for her;

　　30. Accuse your partner of leering and secretly looking at things she shouldn't be looking at

I'm just afraid you'll make it a habit and won't be able to find a girlfriend afterward.

This is basically acting like an idiot! Damn.
Anyone who can think up such ruthless methods, and actually do them, is no ordinary person.
If you don't have any love in your heart, nobody will love you either. Serves you right if you have bad luck!

Way too hard to carry out—just thinking about it makes my skin crawl!

Has the OP tried it?

The following is quoted from qinqong's post on 2004-1-5 0:02:55:
Has the OP tried it?

No chance to try it.
Because I still don't have a girlfriend.

Acting like an idiot! **。

No wonder Fang Shao doesn't have a girlfriend. Spending all day studying this stuff. As if any girl would love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sheesh.

I think just one move is enough

Put your own head on the table

The following is quoted from oneyes's post on 2004-1-27 8:28:33:
I think just one move is enough

Put your own head on the table

Hehe, learning that is harder than dumping your girlfriend

I bump this. I wonder whether this trick works for men who want to change wives?