A woman’s gentleness, her feminine charm, is partly her inborn character and cultivation, and half of it is coaxed out by a man. In real married life, especially for married men, men always complain that their wives don’t know how to flirt and don’t know how to understand men. But as a man, you should also examine yourself carefully. Think back properly: how long has it been since you coaxed your own wife? Those endless sweet words you spoke at the beginning—where have they drifted off to with the wind? Men should know that women are like enchanting flowers. If you don’t want her to wither and fade too early, then you have to keep giving her a little nourishment of love. Sometimes when a woman is tired or in a bad mood, if you coax her a little and say some complimentary and praising words, that too is the best nourishment for a woman.
A gentle woman with feminine charm generally won’t make a huge scene no matter how angry she is. She has her own gentle weapon: crying softly in front of a man. This method has no blade, no edge, no poison, no harm, yet it makes a man’s heart pound in fear. It can make you collapse across the whole line, and the fortress that seemed impregnable just a moment ago falls apart. At such a time, the best thing for a man to do is coax her. If you don’t coax her, there is steel within a woman’s softness, and she won’t come back to your side. And you absolutely must not scold her—scolding her is just adding fuel to the fire and making cracks appear in the relationship. Because women are also fragile in front of men, needing protection; they care about face and yearn for tolerance. When she feels hurt and wronged, when she cries and fusses at you, don’t self-righteously argue back, and even less should you rebut her head-on, nor should you respond with icy silence—you have to coax her. But men also care about face in front of women and don’t want to bow their heads. So the words you use to coax her shouldn’t be too vulgar, but they don’t have to be too affected either. A little flowery is fine, just don’t make it too mushy. A few words are enough; stop at the right point. One day I was on a bus and saw a married couple who were angry with each other. The woman was silently shedding tears and ignoring the man. The man felt awkward. Then the bus suddenly got packed with people, and standing there was difficult, so the man used the crowding of the bus as an excuse and said to his wife: “Baby, come here quick! Lean into my arms.” The girl, tears on her face like pear blossoms in the rain, gently leaned against the man, and endless tenderness flowed from her beautiful eyes.
As a woman, you should also understand men. The two people should respect each other, and women should also learn a little about how to praise men. This isn’t called hypocrisy; it’s called wisdom. If a woman loves you, then you should tease her a little and coax her a little. If a man loves you, then you should admire him more and praise him more. Maybe you know perfectly well that this coaxing and flattering contains a bit of froth, but it is precisely this beautiful froth, like dazzling rays of light, that just happens to satisfy the tiny vanity that men and women are born with in their hearts. It makes women more gentle and beautiful, and makes men stronger. It makes women more womanly, and men more manly.
In married life, if you want a happy and fulfilling marriage, men and women should care for each other and be of one heart. Men should know how to coax, women should know how to praise. Whether a woman has feminine charm is for the most part coaxed out by a man. If a man knows how to coax, even the stiffest woman will become charming in every possible way. If a man doesn’t know how to coax, then even the most alluring woman will become old-fashioned and dull. That is why men should coax gentle women.