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中国DOS联盟论坛 » 贴图灌水、文学娱乐专区 » Online Scenery
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Posted 2003-07-14 00:00 · 中国 山东 潍坊 联通
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Posted 2003-07-14 00:00 · 中国 上海 电信
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Can't you just post it out here!
Hilarious marketing buzzwords for picking up girls online
Marketing terminology (funny version) (repost) To relieve your loneliness, you decide to go online and find someone to chat with; this is called the startup phase. Once you get online and look around, damn! There really are quite a few girls here; this is called huge market potential. But there are also quite a few guys; this is called fierce competition. So you decide to think of a way to make all the girls notice you; this is called positioning. Therefore you say that you're handsome and rich; this is called early-stage hype. A guy next to you can't stand it and says that you're actually ugly, poor, and lecherous; this is called vicious competition. You complain to the admin, and the admin kicks him out; this is called regulating the market. An older buddy testifies: "Actually you're Nicholas Tse the Second"; this is called cooperative hype. You ask: "Are there any pretty girls here?"; this is called market research. Twenty people answer at the same time: "I'm a pretty girl"; this is called a bubble economy. You say: "Who wants to chat with me?"; this is called placing an ad. Two pretty girls say they've seen you before; this is called old customers. You quickly write down the contact info of the two pretty girls; this is called customer relationship management. You shamelessly ask the two girls whether you're handsome; this is called spokesperson PR. The two girls say that you really are handsome; this is called joint hype. You continue shamelessly asking them to introduce a few acquaintances to you; this is called relationship marketing. Then you stop paying attention to them; this is called opening up a new market. Incredibly, all 20 pretty girls say they want to chat with you; this is called market monopoly. If you ask why so many pretty girls are coming to you, that's because customer loyalty is low these days. Happily, you say: "All these pretty girls are mine"; this is called dividing spheres of influence. If you say: "All the pretty girls in Beijing are mine," this is called dividing a feasible sphere of influence. If you also say: "Dinosaurs don't come looking for me," this is called market segmentation. A guy next to you says: "I'm the handsome one," this is called direct competition. Another guy next to you says: "Any girls from Henan here?"; this is called side competition. Yet another guy next to you says: "Whoever chats with me gets paid," this is called a price war. Another guy next to you says: "I'm the moderator, you're not allowed to hog so many girls," this is called government action. You say: "Then I'll introduce two to chat with you," this is called government PR. You say: "Whoever gives me money, I'll chat with them," this is called psychological warfare. As a result, all 20 pretty girls scramble to express their admiration for you; this is called a seller's market. Of course, you also send two off to deal with the moderator; this is called an oligopoly market. But your typing speed is too slow, and you can't chat with 20 people at the same time; this is called limited market capacity. You also say: "I'll only chat with the ones I like," this is called a premium strategy.
You want to treat a pretty girl to dinner, but a dinosaur insists on tagging along; this is called bundled sales. You think of many ways to get rid of the dinosaur; this is called planning. You finally get the dinosaur drunk; this is called PR. You stuff the dinosaur into a taxi; this is called stripping away bad assets. Through the dinosaur, you finally end up together with the girl.
Hilarious marketing buzzwords for picking up girls online
Marketing terminology (funny version) (repost) To relieve your loneliness, you decide to go online and find someone to chat with; this is called the startup phase. Once you get online and look around, damn! There really are quite a few girls here; this is called huge market potential. But there are also quite a few guys; this is called fierce competition. So you decide to think of a way to make all the girls notice you; this is called positioning. Therefore you say that you're handsome and rich; this is called early-stage hype. A guy next to you can't stand it and says that you're actually ugly, poor, and lecherous; this is called vicious competition. You complain to the admin, and the admin kicks him out; this is called regulating the market. An older buddy testifies: "Actually you're Nicholas Tse the Second"; this is called cooperative hype. You ask: "Are there any pretty girls here?"; this is called market research. Twenty people answer at the same time: "I'm a pretty girl"; this is called a bubble economy. You say: "Who wants to chat with me?"; this is called placing an ad. Two pretty girls say they've seen you before; this is called old customers. You quickly write down the contact info of the two pretty girls; this is called customer relationship management. You shamelessly ask the two girls whether you're handsome; this is called spokesperson PR. The two girls say that you really are handsome; this is called joint hype. You continue shamelessly asking them to introduce a few acquaintances to you; this is called relationship marketing. Then you stop paying attention to them; this is called opening up a new market. Incredibly, all 20 pretty girls say they want to chat with you; this is called market monopoly. If you ask why so many pretty girls are coming to you, that's because customer loyalty is low these days. Happily, you say: "All these pretty girls are mine"; this is called dividing spheres of influence. If you say: "All the pretty girls in Beijing are mine," this is called dividing a feasible sphere of influence. If you also say: "Dinosaurs don't come looking for me," this is called market segmentation. A guy next to you says: "I'm the handsome one," this is called direct competition. Another guy next to you says: "Any girls from Henan here?"; this is called side competition. Yet another guy next to you says: "Whoever chats with me gets paid," this is called a price war. Another guy next to you says: "I'm the moderator, you're not allowed to hog so many girls," this is called government action. You say: "Then I'll introduce two to chat with you," this is called government PR. You say: "Whoever gives me money, I'll chat with them," this is called psychological warfare. As a result, all 20 pretty girls scramble to express their admiration for you; this is called a seller's market. Of course, you also send two off to deal with the moderator; this is called an oligopoly market. But your typing speed is too slow, and you can't chat with 20 people at the same time; this is called limited market capacity. You also say: "I'll only chat with the ones I like," this is called a premium strategy.
You want to treat a pretty girl to dinner, but a dinosaur insists on tagging along; this is called bundled sales. You think of many ways to get rid of the dinosaur; this is called planning. You finally get the dinosaur drunk; this is called PR. You stuff the dinosaur into a taxi; this is called stripping away bad assets. Through the dinosaur, you finally end up together with the girl.
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