My family bought a computer! It was a birthday present for me! Dad said this is the most advanced 986! The most advanced computer around right now, even better than the Little Tyrant 686 that advertises on TV every day. “It’s the MMX brand,” he said after reading the manual. “Just hearing that name, you can tell it’s an original import.” M&M’s chocolate candies are my favorite, so I never expected a computer to have an MM too. But I heard there’s a company called 3M, with one more M than this, so it must be even more advanced.
Since the computer is so advanced, Dad also laid down house rules for us, like putting carpet in the room where the computer sits, and anyone who wants to use the computer has to change into special slippers first. “I read this in a professional book,” he said, waving the computer book in his hand. “This book is great too. It was published in 1988, and it’s not even ten years old yet, but it’s already been reprinted four times. That shows how popular it is with readers.” The people from the computer company who came to install our computer said this machine can do all kinds of things. It’s multimedia, so it can play VCDs—that is, little video discs. This is currently the most advanced technology in the world. It can also do lots and lots of other things, he just couldn’t remember them for the moment. That man’s installation skills were really impressive, except he forgot to bring a screwdriver, so Dad had to go upstairs to Uncle Zhang’s place to borrow one. While installing the computer he told us that their company provides free training for computer users. Then he started training us, telling us that the biggest button on the computer is the power switch, and to turn the computer on you only have to press it once. Wonderful, now I know how to use a computer too.
New Year is nice and all, but the weather is too cold. Our computer, though, is especially advanced. It’s warm like a heater, and hot to the touch too. But Dad didn’t like that, so he called the computer company. The company’s repairman came, and Dad had already gone up to the sixth floor to borrow a screwdriver for him. He told Dad that their company has strong technical capabilities, and as soon as he heard what it was, he knew the fan in the computer’s power supply wasn’t spinning. He brought one and replaced it. Since it was still under warranty, and the company practices “three guarantees,” they didn’t charge for a whole series of things like materials, startup fee, labor fee, tax, tool wear fee, technical consultation fee, and so on. We only had to reimburse his round-trip taxi fare, 50 yuan. Look how great that after-sales service is, completely free! And the new fan was great too. It made a humming sound that was really nice to hear, loud and impressive. Anyone who came over to visit could tell right away that we had bought a computer. As soon as the computer company people left, Dad wanted to show off to Mom and me by playing a VCD for us. Dad is amazing, he can do everything, so of course he can use a computer to play VCDs. Without any effort at all, he found the computer’s power switch. Wow, blue sky and white clouds appeared on the screen, so pretty. Dad told us that to watch video discs you have to use the mouse; that’s what he learned when he bought the computer from the company. As he spoke, he picked up the mouse and started demonstrating for us. But no matter how he moved the mouse, the arrow on the screen wouldn’t move at all. He told us that this is a new computer, and it needs a breaking-in period before it works well, just like a car. But I heard him secretly calling the computer company people. The company people came again (same as last time, only taxi fare charged, completely free!), and it turned out the mouse has to slide on the desktop to work. But as soon as the company people left, the mouse stopped moving again. So strange. Later the company people came one more time (still completely free!), and after a lot of fussing around, it turned out Mom had wrapped a plastic bag around the mouse because she was afraid it would get dirty, and that had to be removed too. What an advanced plastic bag it was. If you squeeze the little bumps on it, it makes popping sounds. After Mom gave it to me, I spent half an hour squeezing and popping all the little bumps. Computers really can do so many things.
The next day I went to school and told my classmates that our family had bought a computer, and it was multimedia too, and it could play VCDs—that is, little video discs. Everyone was really envious except for Little Fatty. He said their Little Tyrant was even better, and it even had Balloon Fight. What’s so great about Balloon Fight? Our computer is from that M&M chocolate brand that’s always on TV! That shut Little Fatty right up. Later on, Dad finally learned how to use the computer to watch VCDs—that is, little video discs. He told Mom and me this was high tech, and totally different from the feeling of using a VCD player. And sure enough, using the computer to watch VCDs—that is, little video discs—really was great. The people inside jumped around frame by frame, just like the cartoons I love to watch. Dad could even use the computer to do math problems. “What is 2 times 5?” Dad tested me while skillfully moving the mouse. “Times... times... hey, why isn’t there a multiplication sign?” Later our family bought a VCD player. By then Dad wasn’t using the computer to watch VCDs anymore; he had learned to use the computer to play Minesweeper, and he often swept mines until two or three in the morning. But later Mom said this counted as playing games, and it would bring computer viruses, so she wouldn’t let Dad play Minesweeper anymore. If you play games, the computer will catch viruses—that’s what Dad himself said, and he read it in his precious book. Dad had also told us that this kind of computer virus only infects computers and won’t infect people. Only people who don’t understand the field would think it could infect people. Even though Dad still tried to argue this time and said Minesweeper wasn’t a game, Minesweeper really was under the Games section in Accessories, plain and clear, so he couldn’t deny it. This is bad. He had played for so long—wouldn’t our family computer be full of viruses by now! Even if it can’t infect people, what if the computer gets sick again and breaks the new fan? And the old fan must have been broken by viruses too. Good thing there was free warranty service. The facts were crystal clear, so Dad had no choice but to promise not to play Minesweeper anymore. But I know he still secretly plays it all the time. Hmph! So lacking in self-discipline. If it breaks next time, he’ll definitely have to pay for it.
Ever since our family bought the computer, lots of people have come over to see it. Dad has a coworker, Uncle Wang, who is especially knowledgeable. His mouth is full of computer terminology, and I can’t understand any of it. I only know he told Dad our computer was really great; the manual says it has a 32-megabyte hard disk. “Do you know what a hard disk is?” he said to Dad. “Look, those old big disks were soft. If you bent them, they’d deform, so they were called floppy disks. Now the disks are smaller and have an outer shell, so you can’t bend them anymore, so they’re called hard disks. Look how advanced science is now—even disks have been reformed. They’ll never break down like floppies anymore.” Dad nodded with admiration and quickly asked him a question: “Xiao Wang, what do these buttons on the computer do?” Uncle Wang told us, “This POWER is the power switch. RESET...” He took Dad’s English-Chinese dictionary and looked it up. “RESET means to reset, so pressing this button restores the factory settings. TURBO...” He looked it up in the dictionary again. “It means turbine. This is the turbine switch.” “Turbine, that means the fan, right?” Dad told him. “We just replaced it with a new one.” “Right, right, it’s the fan,” Uncle Wang told us, and then he started using the computer. After staring at our computer’s typing keyboard for a long time, he raised his head and asked Dad, “Besides the fan, is there something wrong with your typing keyboard too? It’s not just that there’s no multiplication sign—why does it only have ESC and no DIR button?” Dad quickly went off and signed up for a computer training class. This time he was really pleased with himself. On the very first day he came back from school, he told me haughtily that today he had learned D-O-S. “Understand? This is called ‘di-wo-ai-shi,’ do you get it?” He pronounced each syllable very clearly. Even though I couldn’t figure out what it meant to “hand him something and get in his way”—was it the mouse?—I wasn’t going to ask him, seeing how much he looked down on Mom and me.
But the next day, Dad learned something new again. It turned out that DOS isn’t pronounced “di-wo-ai-shi”; you’re supposed to read it together as “duo-shi” instead. No wonder Mom said buying the computer was making trouble for himself—turns out there really is a class called that. A few days later, Dad started learning W-P-S. This was way more fun than D-O-S. It even had “menus.” I wondered whether this W-P-S had the spicy shredded chicken I love to eat. But before I could figure it out, Dad had already graduated, and he even got a graduation certificate stamped with a big red seal. Dad is really amazing. Dad told me that our computer didn’t have WPS in it, but that was no problem. Dad said he had plenty of ways. He got someone to copy a copy from the typing shop up front. See how professional that is! They called it “copying a copy,” not the ordinary “recording a disk” normal people would say. Dad even took special notes on the operating steps. First you had to CD WPS, then something with SPDOS. It was really complicated. But Dad had gone to class specially, so of course it was no problem for him. But after only a few days, the computer stopped showing blue sky and white clouds, Dad couldn’t play Minesweeper anymore, and even WPS wouldn’t come up. Not only ours wouldn’t come up, even the typing shop’s wouldn’t come up. It always just showed one line of English and then nothing else. Dad spent a long time checking the dictionary and said the first word was BAD, meaning broken. Oh no, our computer has gone wrong!
Later, the computer company people came again and said the computer had a virus. Luckily they could kill it. Hmph! Isn’t it obvious? Dad definitely got it from playing Minesweeper, and he still wouldn’t admit it! After that, Dad never dared play Minesweeper again. Our family computer was covered with a dust cover specially made by Mom, standing tall and imposing on the desk like a military base hidden under camouflage netting. It was only uncovered when people came to visit, and Dad would demonstrate for them how to use the computer to watch VCDs. Seeing everyone’s envious looks made me so proud, because our family’s computer is really great.
Since the computer is so advanced, Dad also laid down house rules for us, like putting carpet in the room where the computer sits, and anyone who wants to use the computer has to change into special slippers first. “I read this in a professional book,” he said, waving the computer book in his hand. “This book is great too. It was published in 1988, and it’s not even ten years old yet, but it’s already been reprinted four times. That shows how popular it is with readers.” The people from the computer company who came to install our computer said this machine can do all kinds of things. It’s multimedia, so it can play VCDs—that is, little video discs. This is currently the most advanced technology in the world. It can also do lots and lots of other things, he just couldn’t remember them for the moment. That man’s installation skills were really impressive, except he forgot to bring a screwdriver, so Dad had to go upstairs to Uncle Zhang’s place to borrow one. While installing the computer he told us that their company provides free training for computer users. Then he started training us, telling us that the biggest button on the computer is the power switch, and to turn the computer on you only have to press it once. Wonderful, now I know how to use a computer too.
New Year is nice and all, but the weather is too cold. Our computer, though, is especially advanced. It’s warm like a heater, and hot to the touch too. But Dad didn’t like that, so he called the computer company. The company’s repairman came, and Dad had already gone up to the sixth floor to borrow a screwdriver for him. He told Dad that their company has strong technical capabilities, and as soon as he heard what it was, he knew the fan in the computer’s power supply wasn’t spinning. He brought one and replaced it. Since it was still under warranty, and the company practices “three guarantees,” they didn’t charge for a whole series of things like materials, startup fee, labor fee, tax, tool wear fee, technical consultation fee, and so on. We only had to reimburse his round-trip taxi fare, 50 yuan. Look how great that after-sales service is, completely free! And the new fan was great too. It made a humming sound that was really nice to hear, loud and impressive. Anyone who came over to visit could tell right away that we had bought a computer. As soon as the computer company people left, Dad wanted to show off to Mom and me by playing a VCD for us. Dad is amazing, he can do everything, so of course he can use a computer to play VCDs. Without any effort at all, he found the computer’s power switch. Wow, blue sky and white clouds appeared on the screen, so pretty. Dad told us that to watch video discs you have to use the mouse; that’s what he learned when he bought the computer from the company. As he spoke, he picked up the mouse and started demonstrating for us. But no matter how he moved the mouse, the arrow on the screen wouldn’t move at all. He told us that this is a new computer, and it needs a breaking-in period before it works well, just like a car. But I heard him secretly calling the computer company people. The company people came again (same as last time, only taxi fare charged, completely free!), and it turned out the mouse has to slide on the desktop to work. But as soon as the company people left, the mouse stopped moving again. So strange. Later the company people came one more time (still completely free!), and after a lot of fussing around, it turned out Mom had wrapped a plastic bag around the mouse because she was afraid it would get dirty, and that had to be removed too. What an advanced plastic bag it was. If you squeeze the little bumps on it, it makes popping sounds. After Mom gave it to me, I spent half an hour squeezing and popping all the little bumps. Computers really can do so many things.
The next day I went to school and told my classmates that our family had bought a computer, and it was multimedia too, and it could play VCDs—that is, little video discs. Everyone was really envious except for Little Fatty. He said their Little Tyrant was even better, and it even had Balloon Fight. What’s so great about Balloon Fight? Our computer is from that M&M chocolate brand that’s always on TV! That shut Little Fatty right up. Later on, Dad finally learned how to use the computer to watch VCDs—that is, little video discs. He told Mom and me this was high tech, and totally different from the feeling of using a VCD player. And sure enough, using the computer to watch VCDs—that is, little video discs—really was great. The people inside jumped around frame by frame, just like the cartoons I love to watch. Dad could even use the computer to do math problems. “What is 2 times 5?” Dad tested me while skillfully moving the mouse. “Times... times... hey, why isn’t there a multiplication sign?” Later our family bought a VCD player. By then Dad wasn’t using the computer to watch VCDs anymore; he had learned to use the computer to play Minesweeper, and he often swept mines until two or three in the morning. But later Mom said this counted as playing games, and it would bring computer viruses, so she wouldn’t let Dad play Minesweeper anymore. If you play games, the computer will catch viruses—that’s what Dad himself said, and he read it in his precious book. Dad had also told us that this kind of computer virus only infects computers and won’t infect people. Only people who don’t understand the field would think it could infect people. Even though Dad still tried to argue this time and said Minesweeper wasn’t a game, Minesweeper really was under the Games section in Accessories, plain and clear, so he couldn’t deny it. This is bad. He had played for so long—wouldn’t our family computer be full of viruses by now! Even if it can’t infect people, what if the computer gets sick again and breaks the new fan? And the old fan must have been broken by viruses too. Good thing there was free warranty service. The facts were crystal clear, so Dad had no choice but to promise not to play Minesweeper anymore. But I know he still secretly plays it all the time. Hmph! So lacking in self-discipline. If it breaks next time, he’ll definitely have to pay for it.
Ever since our family bought the computer, lots of people have come over to see it. Dad has a coworker, Uncle Wang, who is especially knowledgeable. His mouth is full of computer terminology, and I can’t understand any of it. I only know he told Dad our computer was really great; the manual says it has a 32-megabyte hard disk. “Do you know what a hard disk is?” he said to Dad. “Look, those old big disks were soft. If you bent them, they’d deform, so they were called floppy disks. Now the disks are smaller and have an outer shell, so you can’t bend them anymore, so they’re called hard disks. Look how advanced science is now—even disks have been reformed. They’ll never break down like floppies anymore.” Dad nodded with admiration and quickly asked him a question: “Xiao Wang, what do these buttons on the computer do?” Uncle Wang told us, “This POWER is the power switch. RESET...” He took Dad’s English-Chinese dictionary and looked it up. “RESET means to reset, so pressing this button restores the factory settings. TURBO...” He looked it up in the dictionary again. “It means turbine. This is the turbine switch.” “Turbine, that means the fan, right?” Dad told him. “We just replaced it with a new one.” “Right, right, it’s the fan,” Uncle Wang told us, and then he started using the computer. After staring at our computer’s typing keyboard for a long time, he raised his head and asked Dad, “Besides the fan, is there something wrong with your typing keyboard too? It’s not just that there’s no multiplication sign—why does it only have ESC and no DIR button?” Dad quickly went off and signed up for a computer training class. This time he was really pleased with himself. On the very first day he came back from school, he told me haughtily that today he had learned D-O-S. “Understand? This is called ‘di-wo-ai-shi,’ do you get it?” He pronounced each syllable very clearly. Even though I couldn’t figure out what it meant to “hand him something and get in his way”—was it the mouse?—I wasn’t going to ask him, seeing how much he looked down on Mom and me.
But the next day, Dad learned something new again. It turned out that DOS isn’t pronounced “di-wo-ai-shi”; you’re supposed to read it together as “duo-shi” instead. No wonder Mom said buying the computer was making trouble for himself—turns out there really is a class called that. A few days later, Dad started learning W-P-S. This was way more fun than D-O-S. It even had “menus.” I wondered whether this W-P-S had the spicy shredded chicken I love to eat. But before I could figure it out, Dad had already graduated, and he even got a graduation certificate stamped with a big red seal. Dad is really amazing. Dad told me that our computer didn’t have WPS in it, but that was no problem. Dad said he had plenty of ways. He got someone to copy a copy from the typing shop up front. See how professional that is! They called it “copying a copy,” not the ordinary “recording a disk” normal people would say. Dad even took special notes on the operating steps. First you had to CD WPS, then something with SPDOS. It was really complicated. But Dad had gone to class specially, so of course it was no problem for him. But after only a few days, the computer stopped showing blue sky and white clouds, Dad couldn’t play Minesweeper anymore, and even WPS wouldn’t come up. Not only ours wouldn’t come up, even the typing shop’s wouldn’t come up. It always just showed one line of English and then nothing else. Dad spent a long time checking the dictionary and said the first word was BAD, meaning broken. Oh no, our computer has gone wrong!
Later, the computer company people came again and said the computer had a virus. Luckily they could kill it. Hmph! Isn’t it obvious? Dad definitely got it from playing Minesweeper, and he still wouldn’t admit it! After that, Dad never dared play Minesweeper again. Our family computer was covered with a dust cover specially made by Mom, standing tall and imposing on the desk like a military base hidden under camouflage netting. It was only uncovered when people came to visit, and Dad would demonstrate for them how to use the computer to watch VCDs. Seeing everyone’s envious looks made me so proud, because our family’s computer is really great.
http://dos.e-stone.cn/dosbbs
uploadImages/200311161145850422.swf
uploadImages/200311161145850422.swf
