China DOS Union

I'm a girl, and I have a computer now.
At first I thought a computer = VCD + TV SET. When my classmate told me that a computer could also play DVDs, I decided to buy one.

My classmate told me he was an MCSE (Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer), and would definitely help me put together the best machine. I told him I absolutely wanted one that could play three discs continuously, because I was too lazy to change discs. He nearly coughed up blood

When he was assembling the computer for me, I first went to the top floor of the computer mall to buy a cute "Crayon Shin-chan" mouse pad.

My classmate asked: What brand of monitor do you want?

I said: Mom says we should support domestic products, not buy Japanese stuff.

My classmate asked: The graphics card and sound card should definitely be a bit better, what do you think?

I said: What are those? If I had to choose, I'd definitely pick the ones with nice-looking colors.

My classmate asked: A 40G IBM hard drive is more than enough for you. Prices have dropped now, you're really getting a bargain.

I said: Huh?! Something that small costs more than 800? What outrageous profiteering!

My classmate asked: There are even more outrageously profitable things, look, this is the CPU...

After my classmate finished installing the system and left, I started fiddling with it by myself. Luckily I still remembered what my high school teacher taught us: first turn on the monitor, then turn on the main unit. But nobody ever told me what the main unit was??

I called my classmate over, and he very impatiently explained everything one by one (I couldn't understand most of it), and helped me install some commonly used software. Only then was he finally able to get away from me.

Sitting alone in front of the computer, I didn't know what to do again. Oh right, I should give it a name first. IBM has Deep Blue, so my computer will be called Light Blue. Its specs are a bit worse, but at least it still has the basic structure.

Light Blue, I'm really sorry to you. I make you crash all the time. Your RESET button is probably about to be worn out from me pressing it!

I'm also really sorry to the CD-ROM drive. I make you read worn-out discs all the time, and sometimes that makes you go "creak, creak"!

Of course the one I'm most sorry to is still my classmate. I keep asking idiotic questions, making him almost cough up blood and die.

"What is s/n, what is an IP address, what is a USP interface, what is a 7200-rpm hard drive, what is the registry, what is CMOS, what is a HACKER?"

"Why is everything you bring me pirated? No way, if I'm installing it, I want the genuine WIN98."

"Why isn't there a more intelligent operating interface, where I ask anything and it answers anything, and everything gets done easily?"

"Why do you use UNIX, but install 'Warm Bar' on mine~~~"

"When are we going to watch TV dramas on it?"

"Come with me tomorrow to buy a motion capture device. I want to make my own animation."

"Teach me programming, I want to write software. From now on I want my name engraved on every game."

"I want to make a website, help me code a database; what? The computer has to stay on all the time for people to access it? Then find me a better server to host it on!"

Coughing up blood, this is obviously an expert pretending to be a newbie here, but I do have a classmate who's almost like this!

Illiterate of the new century!!!!~~!!~

If I had a student like this, then I'd need to have a lot of patience to teach her (him). After all, experts also grow up from a stage where they understand nothing. I'm very grateful to those experts who helped me before. It was through their tireless teaching that I have what I have today.

Hehe, didn't you see that mm has already become an expert?
If you had a female classmate like that, you could help her become an expert too!!!