The Strongest Boasting Between Men and Women
Female Version
My nickname is Xiaomei, and my formal name is Damei.
It is said that when I was born, I came out with a smile. When the nurse carried me to the maternity room, I smiled, and unexpectedly all the pregnant women in the room who were expecting male babies gave birth prematurely. The male babies just had their heads out, didn't cry, but blinked their sticky eyes and followed me around, babbling: "Mei! Mei!" Until after I went out, then I heard one cry after another behind me.
When I was young, our family hired a female college student as a tutor. After teaching for one day, she left because she was too自卑 in front of me. From then on, she never looked in the mirror again; she would cry as soon as she looked in the mirror. My childhood was always at home, and I didn't dare to go out because once I went to the park, the drivers and pedestrians on the road all stared at me, causing eight cars to be in accidents, seven people injured, six cyclists fell into the gutter, and five people hit telephone poles. After entering the park once, all the flowers in the park withered the next day. At that time, I didn't know what beauty was, and I didn't know what the reason was.
When I was studying, my family gave me a veil and let me cover my face. I didn't lift the veil until college. There was a school flower in the university, who had a very strong self-esteem. One day, she accidentally saw my face. The usually lively one suddenly became depressed. After a few days, she disappeared. I heard from classmates that she went to South Korea for plastic surgery. After the school flower came back from plastic surgery, she secretly saw my face again, said nothing, walked away silently, and went to South Korea again the next day.
I thought I could graduate well, but one day during evening self-study, I rode a bicycle home. At the school gate, the veil fell off, and the boy facing me saw it. He just opened his big eyes and fell down with a thump. When he was sent to the hospital, there was no way to save him. The doctor said it was because of extreme excitement causing a heart attack. Before dying, he had a smile on his face and said the last three words: "So beautiful!"
I felt very guilty about this. I ran to the overpass at night and cried. When I lifted the veil to wipe my tears, I was accidentally photographed by a reporter. The next day, my photo was in the newspaper. The third day, all the married men in the city asked for divorce. During the day, the men all wandered on the overpass where I had stood, and at night, they carried a quilt and slept on the overpass every day.
I couldn't stay in this city anymore. My family decided to send me to the United States. When I was visiting the art gallery in the United States, I saw the Mona Lisa's smile. Just as I was taking off my sunglasses and was about to enjoy it carefully, Mona Lisa covered her face with both hands. Then, the famous painting of Mona Lisa's smile was gone, and another famous painting, Mona Lisa's Worry, came out instead. Maybe because I wore sunglasses and a black veil every day when going out, the US intelligence agency thought I had great talent for being a female spy, so they invited me to work in the intelligence agency. One day, there was a secret meeting, which was presided over by Bush. After the meeting, I went to the washroom to wash my hands. Unexpectedly, as soon as I took off the veil, Bush came in. When he saw my face, he said nothing, knelt down, and begged me to let him kiss me and be his lover. I had to promise him to consider it later because of his threat. Maybe Bush wanted me to make contributions to make it convenient to transfer me to his side and not cause any scandals, so he sent me to Iraq as a spy. Because of the work, I had more contact with Saddam. Unexpectedly, this made Bush jealous. He was determined to get rid of old Sa. Finally, he found an opportunity and there was the US-Iraq War, which flattened Iraq and Sa was executed.
I hated the war, but this war broke out because of me. I was very painful. I hated myself. I decided to return to China and go to the Buddha temple to ask Buddha to grant me death. I knelt in front of Buddha with my true face and said: "Buddha, I'm not an evil person. I'm just because of beauty, but it has caused so much evil to people, society, and the world. Now I just want Buddha to grant me death." Just after saying that, I looked up and saw that Buddha's face became a bit constrained and stammered: "You can't die. I don't let you die. I want to leave the monkhood and pursue you." I fled in panic.
I ran by the sea and asked myself: Am I really that beautiful? I didn't believe it. So I went to a hotel, opened a room, and in the bathroom facing the mirror, I took off my clothes one by one. (I had never seen my own body in my life.) I quietly looked at my body, and immediately I choked my breath, my heart beat slowly, and my mind went blank. I knew that I, I, I was going to be beautiful to death by myself.
Male Version:
I was born into an ordinary family, with healthy parents, grandparents, and several aunts and uncles.
It is said that when I was born, a piece of auspicious cloud appeared in the north of the sky. Gradually, it came closer and closer, floated to the roof of my house, and then transformed into a character: Shuai (handsome).
After my father saw me, he cried hoarsely for a month and a half. He simply didn't believe that I was a child inherited from his chromosomes. Several times, he rushed to my mother's bed with a kitchen knife, waving it and saying he would chop me into minced meat. My mother protected me with her life, and I was able to survive.
Grandpa had had glaucoma for more than ten years and couldn't tell a person from a dog from more than a meter away. But when I appeared in front of him, the old man burst into tears, blinded himself, and never saw the light again. He said he didn't want to see people again to avoid future troubles.
Later, my mother, in order to prove her innocence, pulled my father to go to the hospital for a paternity test. The doctor lifted the quilt and only took one look and cried. Wiping his nose, he said, "Go back. This isn't your son. It's not anyone's. Humans can't give birth to such a handsome child..."
An intern nurse passed by. She saw me in the swaddle, immediately found a box of red inkpad, printed my fingerprint, and then scattered her tied-up hair in one go. She murmured to me: "Long hair is kept for you. If I don't marry you in this life, my hair won't be cut short. I'll live in seclusion as a nun..."
My mother quickly walked out. In a hurry, she accidentally bumped into an old lady waiting to give birth in the next obstetrics and gynecology department. The old lady pulled my mother and said kindly: "Child, why are you in such a hurry? What's so unbearable? Don't jostle the child..."
http://bbs.tiexue.net/]
My mother was annoyed by her entanglement. She pulled open the quilt. As soon as the old lady saw me, she immediately went crazy like a神经病. Tears flowed down in torrents. She squatted down on the ground and shook her head and roared: "I was born 50 years earlier!!" My mother dodged...
When I was fifteen years old, I still didn't dare to go to school. It wasn't that I hadn't been to school. I went to kindergarten for half a day and then didn't dare to go again. The whole garden of children, teachers, and the dean went crazy. My face was swollen into a watermelon by little girls kissing it. Aunts beat the children fiercely. It wasn't for anything else but because they were in the same grade as me. The military and police were dispatched to finally quell the chaos.
There were always people fishing in front of my house, and they never returned empty-handed. The most interesting thing was that our house was still a hundred kilometers away from the sea, but they often caught tuna in the small stinking ditch in front of the house and found turtle eggs behind the haystack. Later, it was investigated that it was because there were countless women crying in front of my house all year round, and the composition of the tears was rich in amino acids and proteins, which was very suitable for the survival of tuna and the laying of turtle eggs. Over the years, the tears of those women had gathered into a small beach.
Female Version
My nickname is Xiaomei, and my formal name is Damei.
It is said that when I was born, I came out with a smile. When the nurse carried me to the maternity room, I smiled, and unexpectedly all the pregnant women in the room who were expecting male babies gave birth prematurely. The male babies just had their heads out, didn't cry, but blinked their sticky eyes and followed me around, babbling: "Mei! Mei!" Until after I went out, then I heard one cry after another behind me.
When I was young, our family hired a female college student as a tutor. After teaching for one day, she left because she was too自卑 in front of me. From then on, she never looked in the mirror again; she would cry as soon as she looked in the mirror. My childhood was always at home, and I didn't dare to go out because once I went to the park, the drivers and pedestrians on the road all stared at me, causing eight cars to be in accidents, seven people injured, six cyclists fell into the gutter, and five people hit telephone poles. After entering the park once, all the flowers in the park withered the next day. At that time, I didn't know what beauty was, and I didn't know what the reason was.
When I was studying, my family gave me a veil and let me cover my face. I didn't lift the veil until college. There was a school flower in the university, who had a very strong self-esteem. One day, she accidentally saw my face. The usually lively one suddenly became depressed. After a few days, she disappeared. I heard from classmates that she went to South Korea for plastic surgery. After the school flower came back from plastic surgery, she secretly saw my face again, said nothing, walked away silently, and went to South Korea again the next day.
I thought I could graduate well, but one day during evening self-study, I rode a bicycle home. At the school gate, the veil fell off, and the boy facing me saw it. He just opened his big eyes and fell down with a thump. When he was sent to the hospital, there was no way to save him. The doctor said it was because of extreme excitement causing a heart attack. Before dying, he had a smile on his face and said the last three words: "So beautiful!"
I felt very guilty about this. I ran to the overpass at night and cried. When I lifted the veil to wipe my tears, I was accidentally photographed by a reporter. The next day, my photo was in the newspaper. The third day, all the married men in the city asked for divorce. During the day, the men all wandered on the overpass where I had stood, and at night, they carried a quilt and slept on the overpass every day.
I couldn't stay in this city anymore. My family decided to send me to the United States. When I was visiting the art gallery in the United States, I saw the Mona Lisa's smile. Just as I was taking off my sunglasses and was about to enjoy it carefully, Mona Lisa covered her face with both hands. Then, the famous painting of Mona Lisa's smile was gone, and another famous painting, Mona Lisa's Worry, came out instead. Maybe because I wore sunglasses and a black veil every day when going out, the US intelligence agency thought I had great talent for being a female spy, so they invited me to work in the intelligence agency. One day, there was a secret meeting, which was presided over by Bush. After the meeting, I went to the washroom to wash my hands. Unexpectedly, as soon as I took off the veil, Bush came in. When he saw my face, he said nothing, knelt down, and begged me to let him kiss me and be his lover. I had to promise him to consider it later because of his threat. Maybe Bush wanted me to make contributions to make it convenient to transfer me to his side and not cause any scandals, so he sent me to Iraq as a spy. Because of the work, I had more contact with Saddam. Unexpectedly, this made Bush jealous. He was determined to get rid of old Sa. Finally, he found an opportunity and there was the US-Iraq War, which flattened Iraq and Sa was executed.
I hated the war, but this war broke out because of me. I was very painful. I hated myself. I decided to return to China and go to the Buddha temple to ask Buddha to grant me death. I knelt in front of Buddha with my true face and said: "Buddha, I'm not an evil person. I'm just because of beauty, but it has caused so much evil to people, society, and the world. Now I just want Buddha to grant me death." Just after saying that, I looked up and saw that Buddha's face became a bit constrained and stammered: "You can't die. I don't let you die. I want to leave the monkhood and pursue you." I fled in panic.
I ran by the sea and asked myself: Am I really that beautiful? I didn't believe it. So I went to a hotel, opened a room, and in the bathroom facing the mirror, I took off my clothes one by one. (I had never seen my own body in my life.) I quietly looked at my body, and immediately I choked my breath, my heart beat slowly, and my mind went blank. I knew that I, I, I was going to be beautiful to death by myself.
Male Version:
I was born into an ordinary family, with healthy parents, grandparents, and several aunts and uncles.
It is said that when I was born, a piece of auspicious cloud appeared in the north of the sky. Gradually, it came closer and closer, floated to the roof of my house, and then transformed into a character: Shuai (handsome).
After my father saw me, he cried hoarsely for a month and a half. He simply didn't believe that I was a child inherited from his chromosomes. Several times, he rushed to my mother's bed with a kitchen knife, waving it and saying he would chop me into minced meat. My mother protected me with her life, and I was able to survive.
Grandpa had had glaucoma for more than ten years and couldn't tell a person from a dog from more than a meter away. But when I appeared in front of him, the old man burst into tears, blinded himself, and never saw the light again. He said he didn't want to see people again to avoid future troubles.
Later, my mother, in order to prove her innocence, pulled my father to go to the hospital for a paternity test. The doctor lifted the quilt and only took one look and cried. Wiping his nose, he said, "Go back. This isn't your son. It's not anyone's. Humans can't give birth to such a handsome child..."
An intern nurse passed by. She saw me in the swaddle, immediately found a box of red inkpad, printed my fingerprint, and then scattered her tied-up hair in one go. She murmured to me: "Long hair is kept for you. If I don't marry you in this life, my hair won't be cut short. I'll live in seclusion as a nun..."
My mother quickly walked out. In a hurry, she accidentally bumped into an old lady waiting to give birth in the next obstetrics and gynecology department. The old lady pulled my mother and said kindly: "Child, why are you in such a hurry? What's so unbearable? Don't jostle the child..."
http://bbs.tiexue.net/]
My mother was annoyed by her entanglement. She pulled open the quilt. As soon as the old lady saw me, she immediately went crazy like a神经病. Tears flowed down in torrents. She squatted down on the ground and shook her head and roared: "I was born 50 years earlier!!" My mother dodged...
When I was fifteen years old, I still didn't dare to go to school. It wasn't that I hadn't been to school. I went to kindergarten for half a day and then didn't dare to go again. The whole garden of children, teachers, and the dean went crazy. My face was swollen into a watermelon by little girls kissing it. Aunts beat the children fiercely. It wasn't for anything else but because they were in the same grade as me. The military and police were dispatched to finally quell the chaos.
There were always people fishing in front of my house, and they never returned empty-handed. The most interesting thing was that our house was still a hundred kilometers away from the sea, but they often caught tuna in the small stinking ditch in front of the house and found turtle eggs behind the haystack. Later, it was investigated that it was because there were countless women crying in front of my house all year round, and the composition of the tears was rich in amino acids and proteins, which was very suitable for the survival of tuna and the laying of turtle eggs. Over the years, the tears of those women had gathered into a small beach.
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| Rater | Score | Time |
|---|---|---|
| 523066680 | +15 | 2009-07-31 09:08 |
我很笨但我很好学。
