China DOS Union

I watched Love Is Not Blind... no actually, 《Call for Love》, and there were a lot of beautiful women in it.

But the scene I remember most clearly is still this:

The man goes back to his ex-wife’s home, and together with her current husband, the three of them eat the zhajiang noodles she made.

The current husband can’t stop praising the zhajiang noodles she made for his ex-wife: absolutely superb.

Back then, the man divorced his wife because he had to eat zhajiang noodles every day. He took a bite and discovered the noodles really were absolutely superb.

I remember Nietzsche having a relatively cool-headed analysis of love. The general idea was:

A woman’s love is more often expressed as devotion — for love, holding nothing back.

So her love needs a receiving side, or in other words — a possessor, one who does not submit, who does not devote himself.

One person gives, one person possesses.

If both people, out of love, devote everything to the other, then nothing can come of it.

So the characteristics of a woman’s love are loyalty and devotion; the characteristics of a man’s love are possession and taking.

I didn’t believe it before. I felt it made men sound too petty and peasant-like. Those feminists would probably agree with it very much.

It would be better to change “possession” to “responsibility.”

Now I believe it.

It is precisely because women are loyal in love that, for a period of time, they will love only one person.

This also explains why women more often choose the man they love, rather than the man who loves them.

(Of course, that’s assuming the two are on equal terms.

Otherwise there will be exceptions, and not a few of them either — for example, if the latter is a handsome guy driving a Ferrari.)

A woman will pour tea and serve water for the man she loves, learn to cook, bear children, while no matter how attentive her own man is, at most it only moves her.

And besides, no matter how much a man loves her, no matter how attentive he is, his ultimate goal is still possession.

What is even more frightening is this:

Since a man’s love is more often expressed as possessiveness,

then once he has truly possessed her, when that possessiveness disappears, love too is reduced by more than half.

This explains those childish questions like “before marriage she is a princess, after marriage she is a maid,” “marriage is a besieged city: those outside want in, those inside want out,” “marriage is the grave of love,” and “what you can’t get is the best.”

Therefore a man can fall in love with different women at the same time.

At the same time, this also explains why, in the world’s cultures up to now,

polygyny is very common, while polyandry is comparatively rare.

And when the fading of love is explained with the “possession theory,” it becomes even simpler.

Although not a single man would admit that the reason his passionate love for his wife fades

is simply because this woman’s love has already been given to him without reservation,

and there is nothing else left to devote to him.

A woman who loves a man the way a woman does will become a perfect woman.

A man who loves a woman the way a woman does will become a slave who cannot obtain love.

Never be too good to a girl who does not love you, because even if you died for her,

she still would not fall in love with you because of that; at most she would only be moved and feel guilty.

The past can still be corrected; those yet to come can still be pursued.

Good