China DOS Union

Shin-chan: Do you sell soy sauce?
Fish shop owner: No.
Shin-chan: Do you sell mustard?
Fish shop owner: No.
Shin-chan: You dare open a shop when you don't have anything.



Teacher: What do tadpoles turn into when they grow up?
Shin-chan: Frying pans.



Teacher: "We're having a first-aid class now. First do mouth-to-mouth artificial respiration. If you keep repeating it, what will happen?"
Shin-chan: "Someone will sue you for sexual harassment."
Teacher: "We're having a first-aid class now. Someone is injured. What should you do first?"
Shin-chan: "I know, ask whether they want to donate their organs?"



Shin-chan: "Little sis, why are you studying so hard?"
Sister: "Isn't it all because of you?"
Shin-chan: "Me?"
Sister: "That's right. Someone in this family has to amount to something, right!"



Misae: "After summer remedial class you have to come straight home. Why won't you listen? I hate people who don't come home on time the most..."
Shin-chan: "Why are you so angry? When you don't come straight home after work to cook, I don't get angry either!"



Teacher: "When boys and girls reach puberty, secondary sexual characteristics appear. A girl's flat chest will start to bulge, just like..."
Shin-chan: "Like twin airbags."



Shin-chan: "Teacher, I need to go to the bathroom."
Teacher: "No, it's class time. Why didn't you go during the break just now?"
Shin-chan: "Break time is so precious. What a waste to use it for going to the bathroom!"



Sister: "Bro, you're the cleanest person I've ever seen."
Shin-chan: "I'm flattered. How could you tell?"
Sister: "No matter what it is, you always push it all away cleanly."



Misae: "Shin-chan, look, your little sister got 100 points, and you only got 50."
Shin-chan: "I did exactly what you said."
Misae: "What did I say?"
Shin-chan: "You said it would be good enough if I were only half as good as my little sister."



Shin-chan: "Misae, last time I got into a fight with Kazama and lost. This time I won."
Misae: "Why did you have to fight twice?"
Shin-chan: "Didn't you teach me that wherever you fall down, that's where you have to stand back up!"



Misae: "Don't walk alone to and from school, or bad boys might extort you."
Shin-chan: "But my classmates won't walk with me."
Misae: "Why?"
Himawari: "They're afraid big brother will extort them."



Teacher: "Shin-chan, your arts-and-crafts work is excellent. Tomorrow the school is sending you to take part in the citywide competition."
Shin-chan: "No way."
Teacher: "Why?"
Shin-chan: "My dad made it, and he has to go to work tomorrow."



Himawari: "Bro, if bad boys try to extort us, what do we do?"
Shin-chan: "Run and let them chase us."
Himawari: "Can you outrun them?"
Shin-chan: "I only need to outrun you."



Shin-chan: "Misae, you said that whatever you do, you have to see it through and you can't give up halfway, right?"
Misae: "That's right."
Shin-chan: "Then today's the final episode of the TV drama, so you can't stop me from watching it to the end."



Misae: "Swimming is really great."
Shin-chan: "Misae, you're looking more and more like a fish."
Misae: "You mean like a mermaid?"
Shin-chan: "No, you have more and more crow's feet."



Hiroshi: "What? Shin-chan, you're looking at nude women's photos! How can you do this at such a young age? Speak! Where did these photos come from?"
Shin-chan: "I took them from your drawer."



Teacher: "Shin-chan, your homework has been pretty good lately."
Shin-chan: "That's all thanks to the police anti-porn campaign."
Teacher: "What does the anti-porn campaign have to do with homework?"
Shin-chan: "My dad has nowhere to go at night, so he has to stay home and watch me do my homework."



Misae: "Mom and Dad have something to do tonight, so we'll be back very late."
Shin-chan: "Then I'll be really tired!"
Misae: "Why?"
Shin-chan: "Watching TV will tire me out."



Kazama: "My mom has a master's degree, and my dad has a doctorate."
Shin-chan: "What's so great about that!"
Kazama: "Then what kind of 'shi' are your parents?"
Shin-chan: "My dad is a gentleman, and my mom is a lady."



Shin-chan: "Misae, there's a pitiful old lady in the park. I want to help her."
Misae: "Shin-chan is so caring. Then give her 10 yuan!"
Misae: "Huh! Why did you buy a sausage?"
Shin-chan: "Because she's the one selling sausages!"



Teacher: "Shin-chan, why did you steal your classmate's eraser? When you do something like this, can't you think of your parents?"
Shin-chan: "I did think of them before I did it. This way I don't have to spend my parents' money."



Teacher: "Shin-chan, please make a sentence using 'caught in a dilemma.'"
Shin-chan: "During exams I'm caught in a dilemma."
Teacher: "Is it because you don't know how to answer the questions, so you're caught in a dilemma?"
Shin-chan: "No, it's because the answers from the classmates on my left and right are different, so I'm caught in a dilemma."



Teacher: "Shin-chan, your problem is using words improperly. Now let me test you: use an idiom in one sentence to describe a teacher being very happy."
Shin-chan: "Smiling in the underworld."



Misae: "Shin-chan, the reason I make you study extra English is because I don't want you to lose at the starting line."
Shin-chan: "I already lost at the starting line long ago."
Misae: "What did you lose?"
Shin-chan: "Genetics."



Hiroshi: "Look how moving the Twenty-four Filial Exemplars stories are. Could you do that?"
Shin-chan: "At least there's one thing I can do: sell myself to bury my father."



Misae: "I thought you were doing your homework, but you were actually playing video games."
Shin-chan: "You can't blame me for this."
Misae: "Then am I supposed to blame myself?"
Shin-chan: "That's right. Who told you to walk so quietly?"



Misae: "Shin-chan, did you pick up money 10 times this semester?"
Shin-chan: "No, only once."
Misae: "Then how do you have ten honesty award cards for returning lost money?"
Shin-chan: "I changed the 100 yuan I picked up into 10 coins."



Misae: "Shin-chan, you turned on the TV again."
Shin-chan: "It's not like I was going to watch TV."
Misae: "Then what are you doing?"
Shin-chan: "I'm checking whether the TV listings in the newspaper were printed wrong."

This Shin-chan really is beyond saving!!!

Shin-chan is quite cute. It's just that some adults are too hypocritical and dirty!

Heh

Funny...............