A few days ago I helped a PLMM set up a computer. After it was delivered back to her place (it was someone else’s car, so I didn’t go), I’ve been getting phone calls from her nonstop lately, asking a whole pile of random idiotic questions, and I’ve had to make countless house calls. I’ve been mentally tortured, so here is a true record of what I’ve gone through these past few days:
1.
(Just got home) Her: Why is there no picture on the computer?
Me: ……Is the monitor turned on?
Her: How do I turn it on?
Me: …… (At this point I started to suspect this MM was either messing with me on purpose or just an idiot……)
2.
(Not long after that) Her: Why is there no sound from the speakers?
Me: Are all the cables plugged in properly?
Her: What cables?
Me: ……(I went to her place and saw it was plugged into MIC, so I plugged it back……)
Her: Why does it make sound as soon as you come?
Me: ……(Jeez, what did you think I was doing back there for so long just now?)
3.
Her: Why can’t my computer use Windows98?
Me: I installed Windows Me for you.
Her: Why didn’t you install 98?
Me: Windows me is a newer version, easier to use! (Feeling guilty)
4.
Her: How do I get on the Internet?
Me: I already set it all up for you. Just click the 163 icon on the desktop.
Her: Where is it? I can’t find it~~
Me: In Dial-Up Networking.
Her: It’s not there~~~ Me: ……How could it not be there?
Her: Oh, found it (10 seconds) How do I enter the account?
Me: No way!!! ……like this and that
Her: Oh…… then how do I enter the password?
Me: (Powerless) Like this and that.
5.
Her: Is the modem you installed for me really bad? Why is it so hard to dial out?
Me: (Hey, why don’t you ask the telecom bureau?) Mm, basically this is pretty normal……
Her: Why is the Internet speed so slow?
Me: (Why don’t you use broadband?) Mm, modem Internet access is still pretty slow, it can’t compare with the LAN at your workplace.
........
6.
Her: Why can’t I delete the Recycle Bin?
Me: ……Why do you want to delete it? (sweat)
7.
Her: How do I use vb?
Me: I made a shortcut for you on the desktop. Just double-click it.
Her: …………30 seconds later, I double-clicked it, now what?
Me: ………Now what? Use it?!!!! (Do you expect me to teach you vb over the phone?)
8.
Her: Why didn’t you install Windows xp for me?
Me: ……(You never said so!!) Basically, this……
9.
Her: The computer is broken~~~~ (her voice was almost crying)
Me: Oh, I’ll come right away. At her place
Me: …………………………(powerless)
Her: It suddenly stopped moving, I left it here and didn’t dare touch it.
Me: (presses reset) …………
She stared at me with wide eyes and couldn’t say a word, then after a long while said, “Is that really okay?”
If she weren’t pretty I would have………………
10.
Her: There are lots of the CDs you gave me that I don’t know how to use.
Me: Those are drivers…… they’re only useful when reinstalling the system……
Her: Then there are lots of the software programs you installed for me that I don’t know how to use~~
Me: …………………………
I’ve already been tortured beyond recognition, I’m so discouraged……… I hope nobody else runs into an MM like this in the future. The only thing I’ve gained is that my bad temper has been completely worn away; I don’t even have the strength to get angry anymore. Does anyone else have similar experiences?
Addition:
A new question from this morning:
Her: I borrowed a book, it’s about winme.
Me: …………oh…………
Her: The winme you installed for me seems a little wrong?
Me: How so?……………
Her: Why is the stuff on the desktop different from what’s in the book……
Me: (collapses onto desk) ………foaming at the mouth
1.
(Just got home) Her: Why is there no picture on the computer?
Me: ……Is the monitor turned on?
Her: How do I turn it on?
Me: …… (At this point I started to suspect this MM was either messing with me on purpose or just an idiot……)
2.
(Not long after that) Her: Why is there no sound from the speakers?
Me: Are all the cables plugged in properly?
Her: What cables?
Me: ……(I went to her place and saw it was plugged into MIC, so I plugged it back……)
Her: Why does it make sound as soon as you come?
Me: ……(Jeez, what did you think I was doing back there for so long just now?)
3.
Her: Why can’t my computer use Windows98?
Me: I installed Windows Me for you.
Her: Why didn’t you install 98?
Me: Windows me is a newer version, easier to use! (Feeling guilty)
4.
Her: How do I get on the Internet?
Me: I already set it all up for you. Just click the 163 icon on the desktop.
Her: Where is it? I can’t find it~~
Me: In Dial-Up Networking.
Her: It’s not there~~~ Me: ……How could it not be there?
Her: Oh, found it (10 seconds) How do I enter the account?
Me: No way!!! ……like this and that
Her: Oh…… then how do I enter the password?
Me: (Powerless) Like this and that.
5.
Her: Is the modem you installed for me really bad? Why is it so hard to dial out?
Me: (Hey, why don’t you ask the telecom bureau?) Mm, basically this is pretty normal……
Her: Why is the Internet speed so slow?
Me: (Why don’t you use broadband?) Mm, modem Internet access is still pretty slow, it can’t compare with the LAN at your workplace.
........
6.
Her: Why can’t I delete the Recycle Bin?
Me: ……Why do you want to delete it? (sweat)
7.
Her: How do I use vb?
Me: I made a shortcut for you on the desktop. Just double-click it.
Her: …………30 seconds later, I double-clicked it, now what?
Me: ………Now what? Use it?!!!! (Do you expect me to teach you vb over the phone?)
8.
Her: Why didn’t you install Windows xp for me?
Me: ……(You never said so!!) Basically, this……
9.
Her: The computer is broken~~~~ (her voice was almost crying)
Me: Oh, I’ll come right away. At her place
Me: …………………………(powerless)
Her: It suddenly stopped moving, I left it here and didn’t dare touch it.
Me: (presses reset) …………
She stared at me with wide eyes and couldn’t say a word, then after a long while said, “Is that really okay?”
If she weren’t pretty I would have………………
10.
Her: There are lots of the CDs you gave me that I don’t know how to use.
Me: Those are drivers…… they’re only useful when reinstalling the system……
Her: Then there are lots of the software programs you installed for me that I don’t know how to use~~
Me: …………………………
I’ve already been tortured beyond recognition, I’m so discouraged……… I hope nobody else runs into an MM like this in the future. The only thing I’ve gained is that my bad temper has been completely worn away; I don’t even have the strength to get angry anymore. Does anyone else have similar experiences?
Addition:
A new question from this morning:
Her: I borrowed a book, it’s about winme.
Me: …………oh…………
Her: The winme you installed for me seems a little wrong?
Me: How so?……………
Her: Why is the stuff on the desktop different from what’s in the book……
Me: (collapses onto desk) ………foaming at the mouth
弄花香满衣，掬水月在手。
明月鹭鸟飞， 芦花白马走。
我自一过后，野渡现横舟。
青云碧空在，净瓶水不流。
http://dos.e-stone.cn/guestbook/index.asp
＝＝＝＝＝＝中國DOS聯盟＝＝＝＝＝
我的新网页http://rsds.7i24.com欢迎光顾
明月鹭鸟飞， 芦花白马走。
我自一过后，野渡现横舟。
青云碧空在，净瓶水不流。
http://dos.e-stone.cn/guestbook/index.asp
＝＝＝＝＝＝中國DOS聯盟＝＝＝＝＝
我的新网页http://rsds.7i24.com欢迎光顾
