China DOS Union

I'll also occupy a spot here!
Originally, I was writing a blog in MSN, but when I used my phone to connect to the laptop to access the MSN Space, I couldn't get in. Maybe it doesn't support the Aspx format. And here is the best place to access the internet with a phone; saving data traffic is saving money, heh heh... Originally, I didn't have much money, so of course I have to be frugal.

Now I'll transfer the post I had in MSN over, to make the whole thread complete.
Also: LP, if you start reading from this post, you must pay attention! The tone in this post isn't very good because I was in a bad mood at that time, so when you read it, be careful not to get angry. You take your time to read it, and if you get angry, wait until you've read all the subsequent posts before getting angry, okay? You must promise me to read everything through first, okay?


Today is International Children's Day, everyone has a happy holiday!
I really want to be as carefree as a child, but the adult world isn't so beautiful.
Last night, I had a disagreement with LP,
and I couldn't fall asleep again.
Even if we're in the same bed but with different minds,
we should still be able to fall asleep.
Lying next to LP was especially awkward,
and I was really depressed.
I look at that mountain valley, look, look,
I'm really feeling stuffy. ("A插曲 from "Nine Daughters in the Family")
I'm really feeling stuffy...
I packed my things,
and was going to sleep at my own place.
(Oh, I forgot to mention,
originally I was at my mother-in-law's place)
LP asked what I was doing,
I said,
I couldn't sleep,
and here I was disturbing you,
so I'm going back to my own place.
LP mumbled something and then left me alone.
I didn't hear clearly,
I guess she said I was being neurotic.
So,
at 0:40 in the early morning of today,
I left my mother-in-law's place,
driving my broken QQ,
going back to JA.
On the way,
I specifically found a wide and straight road,
stepped on the gas pedal all the way,
and reached a speed of 120 km/h.
The QQ was a bit struggling,
driving at 120 km/h on the highway doesn't feel like much,
but on this kind of road,
it didn't feel safe.
I honestly drove back to JA at the economical speed of 60 km/h.
There was someone on the radio telling his story on the way,
then the host said,
Sorry,
there's not enough time, can't let him talk in detail anymore.
Then he sighed,
these people need someone to talk to so much,
they should communicate with people more usually,
don't wait until it's about to explode to think of finding someone to talk to.
I thought,
Who can I talk to?
I can't talk to anyone.
If I could talk, that would be fine, but I just can't.
When I got home, I watched TV and surfed the internet, just not sleeping.
Then I looked and it was 5 o'clock,
I had to sleep,
my body was already wanting to sleep,
so I had a solid sleep.
Now there shouldn't be any insomnia troubles, heh heh...

The morning didn't let me have an easy time either,
early in the morning a colleague called to say his computer had a problem,
could I take a look,
darn,
I'm not a computer repairman,
I said,
I really can't get up,
I just fell asleep not long ago.
I put off that matter...
But once one wakes up,
one can't fall asleep again,
half asleep and half awake,
LP called again,
saying we were supposed to take the baby out to play today,
when were you coming back?
I said I was coming back right away.
Got up and took a shower,
to clear my head,
I was too tired,
only slept for about three hours.
Drove back to JAX,
back to my alma mater.
The campus was celebrating Children's Day,
having an art performance.
Found my mother-in-law and the baby,
after watching the performance, we went home.
Went back and slept,
got up at noon to eat,
slept again in the afternoon.
After waking up, I thought,
divorce.
Actually, just thinking about that word is scary.
If this word is spoken,
it's like a knife,
it's very hurtful.
And the after-effects are too可怕,
how to put it,
there's basically no chance to go back,
even if there is a chance to go back,
it's like a broken porcelain,
there will always be ugly cracks.
But I thought it over and over,
can this kind of life still go on?
The longer it's dragged out,
the deeper the hurt.

After dinner,
I picked up my parents,
didn't tell them what was going on,
just said it was Children's Day,
picked them up to see the baby.
Wait until my father-in-law came back with cigarettes,
I called LP out too,
I said,
正好 four elders are all here,
I have something to say.
I knelt down in front of the four elders,
and said,
I want a divorce.
This immediately caused a commotion,
everyone was stunned.
Then there were quarrels, scoldings, dissuasions,
it was a mess.
My mother-in-law immediately got angry,
I had already expected this.
But what I didn't expect was,
she actually suddenly started beating LP,
beating and scolding,
you dead girl,
told you to come back early and you didn't,
missed out on so many good marriage opportunities.
Meaning is, see now,
you married this unfaithful guy by mistake.
I blocked her, protected my LP,
I said,
Mom,
if you're angry, hit me,
don't hit my LP.
Mother-in-law said,
Don't call me mom,
you want a divorce,
go write the petition now.
Kao,
it's not like I'm divorcing you,
what are you getting excited about,
afraid that we won't divorce, is that it?
My LP also got fired up,
said,
Write the divorce agreement now,
I'll sign it right away.
I was really dizzy...
I said,
Why don't you write it?
My LP said,
It's not that I said I want to divorce,
why should I write it?
Darn,
does it matter who writes it?
Still arguing about this?
Besides, if you write it, you can protect yourself more, right?
You don't even have this awareness of safeguarding rights.
But fortunately, compared to the mother-in-law,
at least she didn't mistake the divorce agreement for a petition.
Forget it, forget it,
the scene was a mess,
I couldn't stay here anymore.
Going back to JA.
The elders were all worried that my emotions were too excited and it wasn't suitable to drive,
actually I wasn't that excited,
it's not like I was meeting Chairman Mao,
what's there to be excited about,
it's just a quarrel,
once you leave the scene, it's fine,
何况 it's not even a quarrel.
Sometimes I even feel if I'm too cold-blooded.
Father-in-law was better,
said,
If you want to go, just go,
drive carefully on the road,
it's raining, drive slowly,
call and report your safety when you arrive.

When I got home,
called and reported my safety,
my parents did my ideological work,
I also told them something about the matter,
then made my attitude clear,
if LP is willing to continue living with me,
I'm okay with that,
if she doesn't want to, I can't help it.
Parents said,
Everything should be considered for the baby's sake,
don't care too much,
in short,
no writing of any agreements,
you two talk things out slowly.
Everyone hopes you two can live a good life.
Everyone?
I guess at least one person won't hope so,
that's my mother-in-law,
looking at her that way,
she used to brag to everyone that she had a good son-in-law,
now she must hate me to death.
It's strange if she still hopes that I live with her daughter,
if it takes tearing down ten temples to separate us,
she must be carrying a hoe to tear down temples right now.

To be honest,
my mother-in-law is still a good person,
but it's also her who messed things up.
Back then she gave her daughter to me,
saying she wanted me to take good care of her daughter,
but actually,
she根本 didn't mean to give her to me.
I said I got a LP,
but I didn't really feel like I had a home.
She never let go,
I fought with her for three years,
I think,
I failed.
And,
I'm also tired,
don't want to fight anymore.
It's also funny to say,
back then I liked my LP,
my mother-in-law also played a big role,
I thought the mother was smart, kind, and capable,
and the daughter wouldn't be far behind.
Now I want a divorce,
my mother-in-law also played a crucial role.
I won't go into details,
I'm also tired,
I have to go to work tomorrow,
so that's it.

On this Children's Day night,
such a divorce drama happened.
A human tragedy.
My poor baby,
your parents are facing a great disaster.

[ Last edited by ko20010214 on 2007-6-6 at 11:33 AM ]

Today is June 2nd, the first day after I filed for divorce!
The days aren't particularly hard, because I still have to go to work today. When I'm busy at work, I won't overthink...
But when I'm idle, alas, it's really uncomfortable.

After my LP married me, the two of us haven't had a few days of truly being together. There's no doing housework together, living life together, everything is taken care of by my mother-in-law for us. Happy?
This is the greatest sorrow! My LP says I'm unaware of the good things I have, but I really don't want such happiness!

I'm not living together with my LP, not facing the bits and pieces of life together. I have to go to my mother-in-law's home to see my LP, what kind of abnormal life is this? For a long time to come, a person will not be a person, a home will not be a home! But my LP doesn't even realize this, and still blindly clings to her mother's embrace to enjoy. Of course, we also don't have time to exchange thoughts, discuss life, and moreover my LP doesn't even think there's a need to discuss. Everything is taken care of by mom, why bother? Besides, not living together at all, then what is there to discuss?

I filed for divorce because I'm tired.
I don't want to argue with my mother-in-law anymore... She doesn't want to let go, then let her handle everything entirely.
I filed for divorce because I feel that if my LP can't reach an agreement with me and still stands with her mom, I can't live with her anymore.
But I don't want to divorce.

Today is June 3rd, the second day since I proposed divorce.
Got up in the morning, mom made soup noodles, ate some randomly, then chatted at home.
It's impossible to meet LP.
I'm thinking, how can I let LP know my thoughts?
Surf the forum? Impossible.
QQ message? Estimate she doesn't have time to be on QQ at this moment.
Through computer is no good, she doesn't like playing computer much.
Need to find someone to help me do work,
Who is this person?
I thought of Aunt Liu who introduced us.
But this matter is also difficult to speak up.
Oh, I introduced a good girl for you,
You two fell in love, got married, and had a fat boy
Result you say divorce just divorce?
Quarrel just quarrel, shout divorce at every turn?
Now regret? Want me to come out again to settle it for you?
Think it's not okay.
Moreover, family shame should not be publicized,
Let Aunt Liu know not good,
You two make divorce, that's not giving Aunt Liu face?
No.
Or find aunt?
Aunt has good relationship with mother-in-law, and also good relationship with LP,
Maybe they have told aunt about this matter.
Make a phone call to father-in-law, ask the situation first.
Ask, father-in-law said,
Didn't tell aunt,
Your own matter,
Just settle it by yourself,
What's the good of telling others?
Think it's also算了,
They didn't tell aunt,
I can't say either.
Maybe my LP also didn't want to make it big,
That night just was in a fit of anger,
She actually still wants to live with me,
Just she doesn't know how to live a normal life with me.
My poor LP...
I don't not love you,
I also don't not want to live with you,
The problem is your mom is in the middle,
I can't live a normal life with you.
If you figure it out,
Come back and live a good life with me,
Then both of us don't need to suffer this kind of torture.

Watched TV today,
Saw that there are many pitiful single-parent children from divorce,
What great harm it will cause to them,
My heart is also very uncomfortable,
My baby,
Your parents are trying to handle this disaster,
If not handled well,
My baby will be too pitiful.

Received express today,
It's my first online shopping.
Result came back and saw it's fake,
Communicated with the seller on Taobao for the whole noon,
Reached an agreement.
He refunded me in full.
Really depressed, the first online shopping is like this.
Can't do it, need to go to work. Just write here.

Today is June 4th, the third day after I filed for divorce.

After work, I got home, it was already 0:30 in the morning.

I turned on the laptop, casually scanned some web pages, and it was already 1 o'clock...

Suddenly I got interested, downloaded and watched the last two episodes of "Prison break" season 2.

After watching it, it was 3 o'clock.

I was so sleepy, so I went to sleep.

At 8:30 in the morning, I woke up, feeling hungry.

Now I eat very little,
I don't eat supper when working night shifts, and after work at night, I play until 3 o'clock,
No wonder I'm not hungry in the morning.
Originally, I should get up earlier to eat when hungry,
Originally, I should get up later to sleep more when sleepy,
And the result of the struggle between sleepiness and hunger is that they reached a compromise,
Each gave in a bit,
So I woke up at 8:30 like this.
I ate a steamed bun,
The cold noodles I brought back last night were cooked too soft, it was extremely unpalatable,
No matter how hungry I was, I couldn't eat it.
I turned on the laptop and surfed the Internet for a while,
I remembered that I had to go to send a courier in the morning,
I said yesterday,
My first online shopping bought fake goods,
This is to return it.
After handling it at Shuntong Express,
I went to Bank of China to close the account,
My passbook in Bank of China has long been out of money,
I don't want to use Bank of China anymore,
Having too many passbooks is difficult to manage,
I should close all that can be closed,
There is no money,
There are many passbooks,
I still have to spend so much energy to manage them, it's a loss.
I went to the gas station to check my refueling records,
I didn't record it on the laptop for a while before,
Fortunately, I have a refueling card,
There are records in the gas station's computer,
Having a card is convenient, ah.

Then I went to the city,
First I ate a light soup,
Then I went to GG Supermarket to stroll around for a while.
To be honest,
I don't know what to do in the supermarket now,
Because I really don't know what to buy.
I'm so fat,
I haven't eaten snacks for a long time,
There's nothing to buy for daily necessities,
Most of what's needed at home is almost there,
Then going to the supermarket is just a waste of my time.
I walked to the home appliance area,
I found a Lianchuang air-cooled fan that I saw before,
The price is still the same as before,
But now there are gifts.
The salesperson recommended it to me,
I said I still need to stroll around,
I don't want it now.
Later I went to the special KH Electrical Appliances Supermarket to have a look,
The price is the same,
And no gifts are given.
I also looked at the refrigerator,
I found that the price of the Midea refrigerator I saw the other day is actually 200 yuan higher here.
I was extremely shocked, ah,
I went to the headquarters of KH Electrical Appliances and took another look,
It was also price-increased...
Originally it was 1850 and also gave a linen mat,
Now it's 2050 and nothing is given.
I told the salesperson that day,
She also remembered that I came to see this refrigerator that day,
As a result, she said that I can just take it at 1850 directly,
And the linen mat will also be given as promised.
I said, the marked price that day was 1850,
The actual transaction price can at least be reduced by 100 yuan?
She said there was no way,
You didn't buy it that day,
Now it's price-increased,
This price is what I asked the manager to agree to.
However, to compensate me,
Let me feel a little more balanced in my heart,
I will give another set of Midea knives.
So I paid directly.
I went back to GG Supermarket,
Got the air-cooled fan,
Spent another 400 yuan.
Is it that when people are bored, they want to spend money?

I have long wanted to buy a refrigerator,
Originally, I planned that after buying it,
I would pick up my wife and baby to live here,
Cook at home,
Now it's like this,
My wife won't come over for a while,
But I have to use a refrigerator to live alone here, and I still have to buy it.
I can't go back to my mother-in-law's house,
I can't go back to my own mother's house often,
I still have to live in my own house,
Then eating is a problem.
Without a refrigerator,
I can't cook at all,
Can't I eat out every day?

I also paid attention to that air-cooled fan before,
Originally, it was also intended to be used when picking up my wife.
First, to avoid turning on the air conditioner all the time,
Second, at that time, the plan was that my mother-in-law would come together to help take care of the baby,
My mother-in-law has a very strange constitution, and she is very afraid of the cold in hot summer,
She definitely wouldn't want to turn on the air conditioner every day,
And the air-cooled fan doesn't have any obstacles.
This time it also came to nothing,
Then let me enjoy it alone.

I came back and started to tidy up things,
The dust on the electric kettle was all washed clean.
The refrigerator will be delivered later,
I can use it in the evening.

The house is messy,
I'll clean it up slowly,
Anyway, I have plenty of time,
I don't have to rush to my mother-in-law's house,
I don't have to coax my wife and take care of the baby,
I'll clean it up bit by bit.

The radio is talking about stocks,
Now the market is plummeting,
I also checked the market conditions on the laptop because I received a call saying that my fund has dropped sharply and I was asked to sell it,
The stock market didn't have support at the 3850 point,
But it plummeted 330 points and directly reached 3670,
This is scarier than those days on 2.27 and 4.19.
Fortunately, I didn't get in.
If the fund is withdrawn now, it should have earned about 8000,
Although I earned 4000 to 5000 less,
But overall, I still made a small profit,
Satisfied.

I wrote so much,
It seems that I didn't mention my wife much today,
Actually, I really don't know what to do.
How is my wife now,
Is she always very sad,
I feel sad when I think about it,
I really want to tell her,
I didn't really want to divorce her at all,
I just hope she can value our life,
I hope she can think carefully what she really wants,
Or what I really want.
If she doesn't think carefully,
Still doesn't take this matter seriously,
Still thinks I'm fooling around,
Then even if I compromise for a while,
Sooner or later I will come back to this dead end.
Wife,
Calm down,
Think carefully,
Don't be needlessly sad,
I don't want to make you so sad either,
Think about the life we want to live,
Think about how we can live a harmonious life?
You have the courage to live with me,
Instead of hiding in your mother's arms every day to be your good girl.
You have to believe in me,
You have to rely on me,
You have to know how to stimulate a man to spend his mind to protect you, love you, and guard you,
Instead of not giving me a chance on one hand,
And complaining to me on the other hand that I don't love you.
The song "Put My Sincere Heart in Your Palm" came from the radio,
I really felt touched when I listened to it.
I immediately searched on Baidu,
Pasted the lyrics of this song below.

Put my sincere heart in your palm
Maybe we won't meet tomorrow
Put your true feelings in my coat
The wind and rain can't blow into the tranquility of my heart
There are many difficult and long roads ahead
Who will accompany you on the journey
There are secrets in my eyes, only willing to travel with you
To wake up the world
Put your name in my heart
We will definitely meet again
Put my song in your memory
Let there be more love legends in the world
Ai～Ai～
There are many difficult and long roads ahead
Who will accompany you on the journey
There are secrets in my eyes, only willing to travel with you
To wake up the world
Put my sincere heart in your palm
Maybe we won't meet tomorrow
Put your true feelings in my coat
The wind and rain can't blow into the tranquility of my heart
There are many difficult and long roads ahead
Who will accompany you on the journey
There are secrets in my eyes, only willing to travel with you
To wake up the world
Ai～Ai～
Put your name in my heart
We will definitely meet again
Put my song in your memory
Let there be more love legends in the world
Put my sincere heart in your palm
Maybe we won't meet tomorrow
Put my song in your memory
Let there be more love legends in the world
Put my sincere heart in your palm
Maybe we won't meet tomorrow
Put my song in your memory
Let there be more love legends in the world

Wife, you have to be brave,
You have to give me your hand.

Speaking of songs,
When I chatted with my father yesterday, I thought of an idea,
Ordering songs.
Dad said,
Times have progressed,
Many things have been replaced,
The cinema has lost its audience to the TV,
In the past, people liked to order songs on TV, but now it seems that few people do it.
I think this is a way,
But it seems not easy to handle,
If I order a song,
Which song to order?
Which song can better and comprehensively express my meaning?
Choosing a song is still very troublesome,
What about the message?
How should the message be written?
Apologizing to my wife in front of so many viewers can make her broken self-esteem feel a little better,
But first, apologizing and compromising is not helpful for our future life,
Second, apologizing, won't that make everyone know that we are having a quarrel?
I don't know if my wife wants to be a public figure or not,
If my colleagues talk about and laugh at it, my wife will definitely be angry with me again.
Besides,
My wife is still with my mother-in-law now,
If we watch TV in the evening, we are together,
I don't want my mother-in-law to see it.
This matter is difficult.

Wife, you often say that I don't use my brain,
Do I really not use my brain?
I actually think a lot,
It's just that I won't tell you the process of thinking like this.
For example, the method of ordering songs,
I weighed it,
And rejected it,
It's not that I didn't think about using this method,
But I came to the conclusion that this method doesn't work,
If you want me to tell you why it doesn't work,
That is to say,
You didn't think of those reasons at all,
You can't think of those reasons,
You think that method can be tried,
You think it's incomprehensible that I don't adopt that method,
You must ask me to try this method according to your idea,
If I don't do it,
You will get angry,
Say that I don't use my brain,
Say that I came up with an idea for me and I don't adopt it,
Say that I am autocratic, rough, unreasonable,
Because I didn't do as you suggested,
And didn't give a proper reason.
Some things,
Need to have a consensus between you and me,
Some things,
The reason is not easy to say,
Some things,
It itself is a common sense of life,
No need for more explanation.
You must ask me why,
Sometimes it will distract my energy,
Sometimes it will increase my troubles,
Sometimes it will make me very distressed,
Because sometimes the problem I'm thinking about makes me very distressed,
And your not very appropriate suggestion will force me to consider those things I have put aside.
Alas, but most of the time you don't realize whether your suggestion is useful to me.
Wife, do you remember that Mu Lan in "Moment in Peking" that I told you before?
That understanding Mu Lan,
She also encountered a "divorce" crisis,
But she cleverly resolved such a disaster.
If you are like her,
I don't have to worry that you will be stupidly sad,
I don't have to be afraid that we can't get through this disaster.
However, if you are like her,
We would never have such a situation at all.
Because I love you,
I won't be like that playboy Sun Ya,
Letting go of a good wife.

Wife, I hope you can get out of the sadness and pain as soon as possible,
Think carefully about the problem between us,
End this uncomfortable situation as soon as possible,
Let's live a good life,
We are a happy family,
We should be like a real happy family, right?

I have to go buy some vegetables,
Cook a delicious meal by myself in the evening,
Comfort myself.
For three years,
If I really live for three years,
Cooking by myself every day,
My cooking skills should be good,
Unfortunately,
There is really no chance to cook by myself,
So it's really not certain whether the meal waiting for me will be delicious or not.

The gift given with the air-cooled fan is an oxygen generator,
That is, an ozone generator,
It is said to have very good disinfection and health care effects,
I tried it by my side,
Well,
The gas it generates has a strong fishy smell,
Sure enough, it's smelly.

Going to buy vegetables. 886

Today is June 5th, the fourth day after I proposed divorce.
After coming back from the night shift,
I took out the frozen ice crystals from the refrigerator and tried them in the air cooler.
I saw a new private message on 5460 yesterday,
it was from WZ,
saying that he has LCD there,
but he doesn't know who I am,
so he asked me to tell the truth.
I was confused,
it turned out that the private message was sent with a nickname,
so I quickly replied.
I came up today to see if there were any messages. There weren't.
I also announced ZQA's news of having a precious son yesterday.
LZG replied and congratulated.

I went to my Blog and then to the chat area and saw a post,
I found it very interesting, so I reprinted it below.

Why the wedding ring is worn on the ring finger (a wonderful physiological phenomenon)

1, First, stretch out both hands, bend the middle fingers down and bring them together, that is, the backs of the middle fingers are against each other
2, Then touch the fingertips of the other 4 fingers respectively
3, Before starting the main part of the game, make sure that only one pair of fingers can be separated in the following process. Now start the main part of the game.
4, Please open your thumbs. Thumbs represent our parents. They can be opened. Everyone will have birth, old age, sickness and death, and parents will leave us one day.
5, Please close the thumbs, then open the index fingers. Index fingers represent brothers and sisters. They will also have their own families and leave us.
6, Please close the index fingers, then open the little fingers. Little fingers represent children. When children grow up, they will have their own family life one day and leave us.
7, Then, please close the little fingers, then try to open the ring finger. At this time, everyone will be surprised to find that the ring finger can't be opened at all, because the ring finger represents the couple, and they will never be separated. True love, once stuck together, will never be separated for life.

This is the couple.

LP, yes, parents, brothers, sisters and children are not the people who will accompany us for a lifetime,
The only one who can accompany us for a lifetime is the couple,
The one who should live with you is me, not someone else.
I didn't pay good attention to this before,
Made you very unhappy,
I let too many people participate in our life,
It's my fault,
Later I realized this,
And I'm changing, right?
But you directly let mom take care of you,
I'm also very lost.
I seem to be insignificant.
Although I was wrong,
But I just let other people participate in our life,
But you didn't let mom participate,
But replaced me to a large extent,
This is even more wrong.
I was also affecting our life like that,
But at least the two of us are the main body of life,
We are the center,
In our own home,
Be our own master.
I can't live your life like that.
You are like a child who hasn't weaned, snuggling in mom's arms to enjoy happiness,
You will definitely lose your LG's arms.
You can't stay in the arms of two people at the same time.
If you live with mom like that,
Then there will be no chance to live with LG.
It's not wrong for you to want to enjoy happiness,
But if you really love someone,
If the happiness you want to enjoy,
When it endangers the relationship between you and the person you love,
You should know how to choose.
I don't want you to suffer,
I also hope you can enjoy happiness,
But I hope you enjoy the happiness I give.
If the happiness provided by LG is worse than that provided by mom,
You should also know who to choose,
LG is the one who will accompany you for a lifetime.
Speaking of bad,
This can't be compared,
I said,
Things are not perfect,
Plan A has the benefits of Plan A, and also has its shortcomings,
Plan B is the same,
Which is better and which is worse,
It's hard to compare,
It depends on your own choice...
If you choose your mom,
Then I have to leave.
It's not that I refuse to give you happiness,
But you don't want it.
Is it so difficult for you to live with LG?

Speaking of really loving someone,
You can also say,
If you really love me,
Then why don't you think more about me?
Why don't you accommodate me a little?
You will discuss the problem of love and self-interest with me again.
In fact, it should be like this.
Take our matter for example,
If you choose to live with me,
You have made a sacrifice,
You sacrificed some convenience,
Sacrificed some comfort,
But you will get my double love and care for you.
Your sacrifice is not without reward.
If you choose to live with mom,
And ask me to come back and live with your mom,
What I sacrifice is not only time,
Energy, comfort,
But my home, my LP, my life.
You want me to make such a sacrifice,
What reward do I get?

You often weakly say,
Set up the home by your side,
You can take better care of this home.
What kind of home do you call "home"?
A woman,
Married a man,
And built a home with him together,
What is a home?
A home is where a man and a woman are together.
You leave the home I gave you,
Then what about taking care of the home?
You don't even know where your home is,
And you say you can take better care of the home?

LP, it's not that I want to divorce,
But you don't want me first,
It's just that you haven't realized this yourself,
You leave me by yourself,
And I just put it forward,
This will lead to a very painful result.
So,
I don't really want to divorce,
I just want to tell you that this consequence is very serious,
If this problem is not solved correctly,
In the end, there will be only this way.
I just show you where the road you are walking will lead.

I'm waiting for you to come back,
Back to my side,
Live a good life with me.
Build our small family together.

I hope,
You can figure out this problem by yourself,
Instead of resenting me all the time,
Or feeling sorry for yourself,
Even resenting yourself.
If you can figure this out as soon as possible,
Then the suffering we are suffering now is worth it.

I'm going to sleep,
I can't hold on anymore.

My father-in-law called in the afternoon,
Told me that the baby was sick,
Had been given penicillin for two days,
And would be given another day tomorrow.
Then he educated me to communicate with LP early,
Can't ignore it.
What's the big deal about admitting a mistake?
Then he gave an example with himself as an example.
I'm not saying that the family should value harmony,
Don't understand and tolerate each other,
But I don't agree with him tolerating unconditionally like this.
I want to call LP,
But when is it appropriate to call?
How to communicate with LP?
Actually, I'm quite afraid of talking,
Because talking is interactive,
What you originally wanted to say like this,
Maybe it will be misspoken,
And you will be affected by the other party's attitude, tone, and words,
What you say may not be what you originally planned to say.
If there is a misunderstanding in the conversation,
It may lead to not saying what you want to say,
What shouldn't be said is said,
May deviate from the original plan,
Go further and further away.
And the good thing about text is that,
Even if you misunderstood before,
After you read it patiently,
You can also know what the other party wants to say.
Of course, you have to be patient to read it,
If you are so angry that you don't even want to read it,
Then there's no help.
But in the conversation,
Maybe you just change your mind,
Want to listen,
I estimate that nine times out of ten the other party won't talk further.
The text is written by others,
Whether to read it or not depends on yourself,
It's different to listen to someone's words,
The other party hasn't finished speaking yet,
You get angry and interrupt,
The other party's words are interrupted,
You can't even listen.
So talking is interactive,
And it's easily affected by various factors,
The uncertainty is too great.
Of course, text also has bad places,
Black and white on paper,
Everything you write in the future will be used as "evidence in court",
You can't run away.

Alas, there's nothing else,
It's just that my baby is suffering.
If LP can listen to me,
On the issue of the baby,
Many troubles can also be avoided.
My baby may suffer less.
This doesn't mean that they didn't take good care of the baby,
In terms of taking care of the baby,
Whether it's my LP or my mother-in-law,
They are all very conscientious,
It's just that everyone has their own methods,
My methods are not easy for them to accept,
But I believe,
If we really take care of the baby according to my method,
We should be more relaxed.
Don't compare which method has fewer times the baby gets sick,
This can't be tested,
And can't be compared,
Because they take care very carefully,
Taking care carefully,
Naturally avoid many opportunities for getting sick,
But if you take care too carefully,
One day, if you are not careful, the baby is easy to get sick.
And I mainly start from enhancing the baby's immunity,
Although it seems to take care more roughly,
But it exercises the baby's ability,
Adults can also be more at ease,
The baby won't be so delicate.
Of course, taking care more roughly,
The chance of the baby being infected is also more,
So in terms of the number of illnesses,
Its absolute value may be more than that of taking care carefully.
But my baby's resistance will be stronger,
The physical quality will be better.

When to call?
Tomorrow morning,
It may be better to call when LP is at work.
Originally, there are many variables,
I don't want LP to answer the phone when the mother-in-law is also there,
That's even more difficult to control the situation.
Avoid it if you can.
LP, I used your "avoidance theory" again,
You won't say again,
Oh,
You criticize my avoidance theory,
But you are using it yourself!
In fact, it's different,
If you really understand,
You will understand,
No need for me to explain to you again.

I hope my baby's illness will get better soon.
Baby,
It's dad's fault,
The city gate is on fire, and the fish in the moat suffer.
I pray that you get better soon,
You should also wish mom and dad to reconcile soon, you know?

[ Last edited by ko20010214 on 2007-6-5 at 07:31 PM ]

The next part is too long, so I start a new post.

I saw an article in the blog on Netbig.com. The title is:
"Don't Hold Hands Casually, and Don't Let Go Casually"
Inspired by my LP saying that night "If you want to get married, you can get married; if you want to get divorced, you can get divorced. How can there be such casual things.", I carefully read that article and transfer it below.


Source: "Reader" Issue 5, 2006

Have you noticed that the feeling of love is always sweet at the beginning. You always feel that there is one more person to accompany you, one more person to share with you, and you are finally no longer alone, because at least there is someone thinking of you and loving you. No matter what you do, as long as you can be together, it's good.
　　But slowly, as you get to know each other deeper, you start to discover the other party's shortcomings, so problems come one after another. You start to be annoyed, tired, and even want to escape. Some people say that love is like picking up stones. You always want to pick up one that suits you, but how do you know when you can pick it up? She suits you, then do you suit her?
　　In fact, love should be like polishing pebbles. Maybe when you just pick it up, you are not so satisfied. But remember, people are flexible, many things can be changed. As long as you have the heart and courage, instead of picking up unknown stones everywhere, it is better to polish the stone you already have. Have you started polishing? Many people think that because the relationship fades, people become lazy. In fact, people are first conquered by inertia, and then the relationship fades slowly.
　　At a certain dinner gathering, someone suggested eating more shrimp is good for the body. At this time, a middle-aged man suddenly said: "Ten years ago, when my wife was still my girlfriend, she said she wanted to eat ten shrimps, and I would peel twenty for her! Now, if she wants me to peel the shrimp shells for her, it's just a joke! I don't even have the interest to pick food for her, let alone peel the shrimp shells."
　　No wonder more and more people just want to talk about love for a lifetime but are reluctant to enter marriage. Because marriage can easily make people lazy.
　　If everyone is too lazy to talk, too lazy to listen, too lazy to create surprises, too lazy to be gentle and considerate, then how can couples or lovers not drift apart gradually? So please remember: A vibrant love needs to be watered with appropriate殷勤. It is also impossible to be lazy in falling in love.
　　There was a couple who made an appointment to have a meal and go shopping after work. But the girl was delayed by a company meeting. When she arrived in the rain, she was more than 30 minutes late. Her boyfriend was very unhappy and said: "You are always like this. Now I have no mood at all. I will never wait for you again in the future!" Instantly, the girl's heart broke down. She was thinking: Maybe, they will never have a future again.
　　Similarly, in the same place, another couple also faced the same situation. The girl arrived half an hour late too. Her boyfriend said: "I think you must have been very busy!" Then he wiped the rain off the girl's face and took off his coat to put it on the girl. At this moment, the girl shed tears. But the tears flowing down her cheek were warm and happy.
　　Do you feel it? In fact, love and hate are often just in our one thought! Love not only needs to know how to be tolerant but also in time. Many things may just lie in the change of your mood. If someone falls in love with you and you also think he is not bad, that doesn't mean you will choose him.
　　We always say: "I want to find someone I love very, very much before I will fall in love." But when the other party asks you, how to be considered as loving very, very much, you can't answer him, because you don't know it yourself.
　　Yes, we always think that we will find someone we love very, very much. But later, when we look back suddenly, we realize how naive we were. If there has never been a start, how do you know if you will love that person very, very much? In fact, the feeling of loving very, very much is to be discovered after experiencing many things together. Everyone hopes to find their 100% partner in their mind. But have you ever thought that there has been someone silently paying for you for a long time by your side, but you just haven't noticed it?
　　So, still take a close look at the people around you. He may have been waiting for you for a long time. When you love someone, loving to eight points is just right. All expectations and hopes are only seven or eight points, and the remaining two or three points are used to love yourself. If you continue to love more, it is very likely to cause heavy pressure on the other party, make each other out of breath, and completely lose the fun of love.
　　So please remember, don't get more than six points drunk when drinking, don't eat more than seven points full when eating, and don't love someone more than eight points. If you are confused about love, the following passage may give you some inspiration: To love someone, you need to understand and also to enlighten; to apologize and also to say thanks; to admit mistakes and also to correct mistakes; to be considerate and also to be understanding; it is to accept instead of enduring; it is to be tolerant instead of indulging; it is to support instead of dominating; it is to condole instead of interrogate; it is to pour out instead of accuse; it is to remember unforgettably instead of forgetting; it is to communicate with each other instead of explaining everything; it is to silently pray for the other party instead of making many demands on the other party. It can be romantic, but don't waste. Don't hold hands casually, and don't let go casually.

Sometimes a song interprets an unfinished love and composes a sad poem.

Don't hold hands casually, and don't let go casually.
LP, it's my fault.
Although I don't really want to break up with you,
but I hurt your heart with such words,
it's my fault.
Held your hand,
I won't let go.
Please put your hand in mine well,
bravely give yourself to me,
okay?

Today is June 6th, the fifth day since I proposed divorce.
Woke up in the morning with a sore throat,
My tonsils are inflamed again.
In a drowsy state, I heard the sound of the TV,
And casually turned it off.
Then I lay in bed half asleep and half awake,
Thinking of my LP and baby again.
I don't know how I suddenly thought of it,
I'm really damn it,
I completely forgot that LP had two exams on June 2nd.
Oh no,
She must not have taken those two exams,
Who can have the energy to deal with such things the next day after such a big storm the night before?
I'm really damn it,
Why did I forget this?
Whether I want to quarrel or force LP to seriously consider our life,
Can't it be a day later?
Can't I wait until LP finishes these two exams?
The two reference books that LP needs are still lying on my bookshelf,
She told me before,
In a while I will have an exam, remember to bring those two books back for me when you have time,
But I never took it to heart.
Did I care about my LP?
Why don't I remember that she was going to take an exam?
I don't know what was wrong with me those two days,
I was angry with LP over a little thing,
And it got bigger and bigger,
Later I actually focused on "divorce",
Am I too selfish?
If I could think more about LP at that time,
Naturally I wouldn't forget that she was going to take an exam,
If I could think more about LP,
I wouldn't be crazy to make such a "divorce".
Alas, if only I could find someone to talk to at that time,
I would feel轻松 after talking,
Maybe this idea would be dispelled.
If I told someone,
No matter who I told,
Others would definitely persuade me to dispel this idea.
The problem is who can I tell?
No one can tell,
No one can say.
This is also a very depressed thing for me for a long time.
There is no good communication between husband and wife,
And I can't tell others,
Not to mention outsiders,
Even relatives can't tell,
In fact, relatives are even less able to tell.
Moreover, no matter how close relatives are, they are all "outsiders" compared to the couple,
Isn't one of the nicknames for LP called "inner person"?
So,
LP is the real "own person", and others can only be "outsiders",
Things between husband and wife should not be told to outsiders.
In short,
Proposing divorce is my fault,
Although my idea is not really to divorce,
But it was a mistake to mention it at that time.
I'm sorry, LP.
Thinking this way,
I can't sleep anymore,
I turned on the notebook and wrote down this thought.

Before this,
Before turning on the computer,
I got up and found my phone,
I wanted to see what time it was,
And then I encountered a very stuffy thing.
I found my phone,
And saw there was a text message,
Still sent by LP.
I thought LP was going to discuss with me how to live in the future,
Or tell me that the baby was sick,
But when I opened it,
It was about urging me to pay back the money.
This matter has to be traced back to before,
A while ago, wasn't the stock market very hot?
My fund also rose relatively well,
Then my LP and I both thought,
Putting money in the bank is purely a waste,
The interest is not as strong as inflation,
Putting it in the bank to depreciate is better than taking it out to speculate in funds.
As a result, I don't know how LP persuaded her mother-in-law,
She gave me 110,000 yuan in RMB that she had saved for many years.
I thought the fund risk was not big,
I would just help her manage the money,
All the profits belong to her,
In case it loses,
It shouldn't lose much,
Anyway, my fund has risen a lot in the previous period,
Then I will post some money to her,
At least ensure her a return not less than the fixed deposit interest rate.
So I accepted it,
Bought a fund on May 30th.
At that time, I invested all her money,
Because I was acting as her investment,
So I didn't mix my money in,
It's easier to calculate the income later.
The money was probably given to me on May 25th,
(Check when 110,000 yuan appeared in my account to know)
Result on the evening of May 31st,
The night before the accident,
When I was lying in bed with my LP and was about to sleep,
My LP took out a stack of papers and a pen and said to me,
Mom gave you that money,
You write an IOU or something to her.
I was a little unhappy at that time,
Could I eat up this little money of yours?
But this is a formalities issue,
It's right to be more formal when dealing with money,
It's best to have clear and complete formalities for financial matters,
So I didn't say anything,
Just write it.
I also wrote it very formally and clearly.
How would you write it if you were asked to write it?
I borrowed XXXX yuan from XX person, then the signature and date?
This is how I wrote it:
I borrowed XFD 10,000 yuan in cash (in numbers ￥xxxxxx.xx yuan). Return the principal and interest within one year (calculated from the borrowing date). The interest is implemented according to the current one-year fixed deposit interest rate. Borrower: YLN Date May 25, 2007 May 25, 2007
There is one thing I am not satisfied with,
It didn't clearly state whether it was the deposit interest rate or the loan interest rate,
Of course, the default is the deposit interest rate,
Besides, if it's a loan, there shouldn't be the saying of one-year fixed deposit,
I'm not in finance, I don't know these things very well.
Why write it so clearly,
Of course it has to do with my consistent rigorous style,
(My father taught me to be clear and rigorous in terms of money)
And also because I was a little angry.
Write it clearly,
Everyone will be at ease, right?
After writing it, I asked LP to give it to her mother.
Now it's good,
It has become that I borrowed money,
Fortunately, I wrote that it will be paid back within one year from the borrowing date,
Otherwise, with her urging to pay back the debt,
Where would I get so much money to give her at once.
Yesterday I sold my fund,
There should be about 80,000 yuan of funds back
Plus I still have about 20,000 yuan of the original money that was going to enter the stock market,
A total of 100,000 yuan?
Still a little short.
Besides, the fund redemption will not arrive in the account for a week,
I can't take out the money now.
My LP really doesn't understand funds at all,
Last time I just told her that the fund risk is small,
And unlike stocks, if it's a limit down, you can't sell it if you want to sell it,
The fund can be redeemed if you want,
The money will arrive in the account after a week.
I also missed a very important thing not telling her,
That is, the new fund has a closing period,
The first three months after just buying (generally three months, but most funds will lift the closing in advance) cannot be redeemed.
Now asking me for money,
Isn't it killing me?
Alas.
It's hard to be a person,
It's even harder to be a good person.
If I had known earlier, I would have taught LP to speculate in funds,
Let her help her mother-in-law speculate,
Wouldn't I have caused such a big mess?


I'll call LP around ten o'clock,
Before ten o'clock, maybe LP is taking the baby to the hospital for an injection,
If it's late, maybe she's home again.
I don't want her mother-in-law to be present when she answers the phone.

Now I'm in a passive situation,
Later LP will think that I called her after receiving the text message.

No matter,
Go have breakfast,
I'm starving.
I get very hungry if I don't eat on time now.
By the way, buy two packs of Banlangen to treat my tonsillitis.

Looking at my QQ car,
Still decided to walk to have breakfast.
When I walked to the gas station,
I saw a young couple walking,
The woman was pregnant,
The two were walking and talking happily.
Suddenly I thought of when LP was pregnant with the baby.
And the other day in the supermarket,
I saw several mothers holding babies,
Pregnant mothers with big bellies,
I especially missed my own LP's baby.
Just like MS said,
At that time his baby was not with him,
He would especially miss his own when he saw other people's babies.
Arrived at HNFMG,
Ordered a bowl of pork intestine powder.
In fact, I went there specially to eat,
Mainly to ask the boss where he bought that vinegar bottle.
As a result, I asked,
It was sent by the manufacturer,
No wonder I couldn't find it in the supermarket.
After eating the powder,
I told the boss to give me a vinegar bottle,
The boss readily agreed.
When changing the change,
I said, don't give me the change,
I'm not taking your things for nothing.
The boss smiled,
And didn't insist.
Got the bottle I had been looking for,
I was still quite happy.
LP,
If you see this,
(If you can see it,)
You must laugh at me for being too pedantic again.
It's ten o'clock, time to make the call.

No one answered.
"Shanghai Bund" was being shown on TV,
Ding Li was telling Feng Chengcheng his story,
Saying that he was often beaten and scolded by his father when he was a child,
He hated his father very much,
He was determined to curse him to death,
And thought that God pitied him,
Not long after, his father died,
He thought he would be very happy,
But actually he cried with his mother for a day.
After all, he was his father,
No matter what, he was his father.
As a result, Feng Chengcheng listened to Ding Li's persuasion,
Went back and made up with his father.
LP,
This story is recorded here,
You should know what it means.
First, the father is after all the father, and we should think more about the father's kindness to us.
Second, after all, we are husband and wife, and I don't want to be angry with each other anymore.

Just now I got through the phone,
LP was cold to me,
This is also what I expected,
Who made me hurt her heart like that that day,
I deserved it.
But I should still try to communicate with her,
Can't let her not understand the truth of this matter,
Can't let her continue to be sad in a muddle,
I don't really want to break up,
I really still want to live well with her.
Anyway,
I decided to send her the website,
Hope she can come up and have a look,
Understand my thoughts,
No longer be sad.
As for whether she forgives me or not after reading it,
Then I can only pray.
No matter whether she forgives me or not,
At least you won't continue to be sad because you don't understand.

[ Last edited by ko20010214 on 2007-6-6 at 10:43 AM ]

Today is June 7th, the sixth day since I proposed the divorce.
Didn't I have the idea of letting her read the Blog yesterday?
Later, I thought that my wife doesn't like to look at the computer much.
I copied the content of the Blog into Word, formatted it, set the font larger, saved it on a USB flash drive, and took it to the printing room to print.
At first, it was an inkjet print, and the printed words were a bit distorted. Then the ink ran out, and there were still 4 pages left to print.
I went to another place and was going to print the remaining 4 pages. When I saw the result, the laser print effect was really good. So I simply reprinted the first 8 pages, which looked more comfortable.
After printing, I drove my broken QQ back to JAX.
I called my wife at the entrance of her unit.
I wanted to see her.
My wife said she was busy with something now.
I said it was okay, I could wait.
I was so sleepy.
I slept in the car for an hour.
It was almost five o'clock.
Then around 5:40, my wife came out.
In these few days,
my wife has become extremely thin.
My wife got in the car.
I didn't know what to say.
My wife asked where I was taking her.
I said,
let's go for a walk by the reservoir.
When we arrived at the reservoir,
I parked the car.
My wife said there was no need to go down for a walk.
Didn't I have something to say to her?
We could talk in the car.
I apologized to my wife.
My wife said,
don't play this trick.
How many times have I forgiven you?
Have you changed?
I said I was changing.
That day I was confused for a moment.
I was wrong.
My wife said,
if it was just an impulse, it would be okay.
I could forgive you.
But you aren't.
You planned it on purpose.
You even brought your parents here.
You humiliated me in front of four elders like that.
I didn't know how to comfort my wife.
What I did was really messed up.
Saying I did it on purpose isn't wronged me.
But I was messed up at that time.
Only by drilling into this dead end did I do this.
Actually, I just didn't think clearly for a moment and did such a hurtful thing to my wife out of impulse.
Although it seemed I was sober,
but actually I didn't really want to make trouble.
How to say it?
I was muddle-headed for a moment,
才会 do such a silly thing.
I had a small hope and cautiously asked,
have you seen the website I sent you in the morning?
My wife said,
yes,
I read it once in the morning and again in the afternoon.
I didn't see that you realized your mistake.
You've been talking about my faults and my mother's faults all the time.
Alas,
I was dizzy...
My wife asked me what else I had to say.
Didn't you特意 come to talk to me?
Why is it just me talking and you not talking?
I said,
wife, you know I'm not good at talking.
I can't speak well.
I was also afraid you wouldn't want to read the post on the computer.
So I printed it out.
I originally wanted to give it to you to read.
I didn't expect you've already read it.
Most of what I wanted to say has been said above.
I can't think of more now.
I just hope we can live together well.
My wife said I'm afraid to live with you.
I suggest you go see a psychologist.
A mentally healthy person wouldn't be like you.
I had to say,
let's not talk about this now.
It's getting late.
I'll take you back.
The baby must be waiting for you to come home from work at home.
When my wife arrived at the door,
she said,
you don't need to get out of the car.
Go back and think it over.
I wanted to go in and see my baby,
but I really don't know if they would let me in under the current situation.
I went back to my parents' home.
I randomly ate a bowl of rice.
After the meal, I went for a walk with my father and reported my situation to him.
My father said,
now let's not talk about other things first.
As long as you two can be together and not separate, that's good.
Hobbies and common language between husband and wife can be cultivated slowly.
Live together well and feel the warmth and coziness of the family together.
The days will get smoother in the future.

I was extremely busy at work today.
It was such a heavy rain难得,
it rained all morning.
As a result, everyone was busy with flood control.
There was water everywhere in the computer room.
The water in the sewage pit couldn't be drained in time and kept rising.
There was a risk of water entering those motors and electrical cabinets.
Even the electrical distribution room might be flooded.
When I got off work,
a section of the road was submerged by water.
The coach drove through,
and the water splashed high on both sides.

In the evening,
I called my wife.
Her phone wasn't answered.
I called the landline at my mother-in-law's home.
My mother-in-law answered the phone.
I called out, Mom.
Then I bowed my head to apologize.
My mother-in-law didn't keep pressing.
She first criticized my faults.
Then she said,
if the daughter forgives you, I have no objection.
It's up to her.
But you started the matter the way you did, and you should end it the way you started.
You brought your parents here that day.
Then bring them here another day to apologize to my daughter in front of them.
I said, okay,
I will definitely do as you say.
Where I fell, I will get up from there.
I suddenly felt that I was quite petty.
Actually, my mother-in-law has been really good to me.
I thought she would scold me severely.
Thinking of the part I wrote about "宁拆十座庙" that day,
I really misunderstood my mother-in-law.
This is 以小人之心度君子之腹.
My mother-in-law asked my wife to answer the phone.
My wife's attitude was still a bit unrelenting.
I also understand.
After all, I hurt her too deeply.
It should be said that my wife has never suffered much setbacks since she was a child.
My making such a scene gave her too much stimulation.
I'm grateful that she is willing to talk to me.
I must correct my mistakes well.
Use my sincerity to move my wife.
Never make the previous bad habits again.

Tomorrow will be the seventh day.
I will post three songs related to seven.
Seven is a finishing number.
Hope there will be a good ending tomorrow.

[ Last edited by ko20010214 on 2007-6-7 at 11:55 PM ]

Today is June 8th, the seventh day since I filed for divorce.
I don't want to write anything today,
Just post a few song lyrics below.

Song title: How many times
Singer: Ma Yu

The heart arrives between us,
Feels tired,
So this relationship,
Is my own wishful thinking,
The road of love is hard,
You never understand,
How can you not care,
I will never learn,
Looking at between us,
Always feel so far away,
It seems that this relationship,
You don't care whether you have it or not,
The mistake in your heart,
I always try to not see,
You let it,
Repeatedly repeat,
Seven tears,
Can only represent a sadness,
Seven sadneses,
Can only be regarded as a heartbreak,
Seven heartbreaks,
Can only exchange for your regret,
And seven regrets,
Can only make me stop crying for you,
Looking at between us,
Always feel so far away,
It seems that this relationship,
You don't care whether you have it or not,
The mistake in your heart,
I always try to not see,
You let it,
Repeatedly repeat,
Seven tears,
Can only represent a sadness,
Seven sadneses,
Can only be regarded as a heartbreak,
Seven heartbreaks,
Can only exchange for your regret,
And seven regrets,
Can only make me stop crying for you,
Seven tears,
Can only represent a sadness,
Seven sadneses,
Can only be regarded as a heartbreak,
Seven heartbreaks,
Can only exchange for your regret,
And seven regrets,
Can only make me stop crying for you

Song title: Seven Days Seven Centuries
Singer: Li Tianhua Album: Seven Days Seven Centuries


One week without your news,
I miss you so much I'm going crazy,
If one second is a mark of one day,
I've passed seven centuries,
Every night I dream of you running into my arms,
Saying we'll never part in this life,
And when I wake up you're still not there,
Missingness soaks through my whole body,
If love makes a mistake,
Destined to endure loneliness,
If mistake has to bear the result,
I'd rather face it than escape,
Oh... seven centuries,
Tears roll through memory,
I hate myself for losing you,
Only blame the world for rendering love too beautiful,
Why is losing easier than gaining,
Oh, seven centuries,
All are winter,
Even if it's punishment it's reached the bottom,
I hope every night when I close my eyes it's you,
I'd rather sleep forever,
Don't wake up...


Song title: Seven Days Away From You
Singer: Jacky Cheung
Lyrics: Yao Ruolong　Composer: Li Zhengfan
Arrangement: Tu Ying　Production: Lin Mingyang

The first day away from you, not used to the feeling of no one to control,
Don't know how to pass the extra time, a little regret that the breakup words were too extreme,
The second day away from you, stayed up all night in the tavern looking for something new,
Lonely men and women comfort each other, no one cares who is who tomorrow

Loved and quarreled, quarreled and loved, bitter and sweet,
Hurt and thought, thought and hurt, back to the starting point,
Love always has more for me to learn, can't graduate

Old friends I haven't seen for a long time made an appointment at seven o'clock, listen to how others make money and how to pass the time,
Had enough to eat and drink, KTV until not satisfied to go home, vaguely remembered that it seems to have been three days since I didn't see you

Fourth day away from you, couldn't find anyone to accompany me to go crazy all night,
Only then did I realize that I have very few friends, stayed at home all night and smoked half a pack of cigarettes,
Fifth day away from you, couldn't suppress the longing like a tide,
Drove around your door不停circling until dawn才realized how embarrassed I was

Messy hair, red eyes, beard all over my face, every scene of falling in love and being in love, repeatedly replaying,
Just like seeing a lifetime when unconscious, passing in front of my eyes, clearly remembering that it's been six days since I parted with you

Only seven days away from you, my person is like seven years older,
Never willing to admit that I'm wrong, but this time I really sincerely repent,
Only seven days away from you, my heart has matured seven years,
If you are willing to understand slowly, my love has changed to be more sincere and resolute

Today is June 28th, which is the third anniversary of my marriage with my wife.
I originally wanted to change shifts,
so that I could have time in the evening to celebrate with my wife.
But when I told my wife about it,
my wife said there was no need,
tomorrow is Friday,
she will come to my place tomorrow evening to spend the weekend.
It's not a big deal missing this one day.
The book taught me to respect my wife's opinion,
not to impose my own good plans on my wife,
so I'll just wait to pick her up tomorrow to spend the weekend.
In the morning, I went to the market to buy vegetables.
My wife likes to eat towel gourds,
so I bought two.
I also bought one bitter gourd and some meat.
My wife also likes to eat dumplings,
so I bought some meat, some leeks, and a Chinese cabbage.
I bought flour,
and went home to make dumplings by myself.
It took the whole morning to knead the dough, mince the filling, and make dumplings.
I made about thirty dumplings.
Put more than a dozen leek-filled ones in the refrigerator to freeze,
I cooked about twenty by myself,
ate ten for lunch and ten for dinner.
After eating, I didn't feel like moving,
so I put the remaining filling in the refrigerator,
and I'll make dumplings tomorrow.

Although I had agreed with my wife not to go back today,
it wouldn't be right not to make a phone call.
Got into bed,
just picked up the phone,
and my wife called.
It turned out she had something to ask me,
saying about buying insurance for the baby.
Alas, I didn't even get a chance to say a romantic word.
Never mind,
go to sleep,
I won't write anymore,
it's better to rest well and have an easier time at work.

On March 25 this year, my wife filed a lawsuit against me in court, asking for a divorce.
I didn't agree to divorce, but her family had the ability to make the first-instance judge rule for divorce.
I was dissatisfied and appealed to the intermediate court. The intermediate court finally basically upheld the original judgment,
only reducing the child support from 1200 yuan per month to 800 yuan per month.
My wife is gone,
the child is gone,
the money is gone,
I have become a lonely bachelor again.

I am extremely disappointed with China's laws and law enforcement personnel,
I will not give her the son,
let the court do whatever it wants.
There's nothing more to say.

Today, the enforcement personnel from the court and my ex-wife came to my place and took my son away...

The son didn't want to go with her and was crying badly, but the court personnel forcefully carried him into the car.

I was also crying badly, and my mom was too...

But in China,

What can ordinary people do?

Actually, saying that everything is for the child's good growth principle,

Isn't it just empty talk?

The son only recognizes me,

Only wants me,

But still they forcefully take the son to a place he doesn't want to go,

Live a life he doesn't want to live?

The court personnel took bribes,

What won't they do?

I don't know how the son will cry tonight,

Every night the son sleeps with me,

Unless I go to night shift,

The son will let grandma sleep with him.

Now to make him sleep with the mother he doesn't want,

Or with his grandmother,

He will definitely cry to death.

Alas～～～

I didn't sleep much last night.
Played on the computer until three in the morning,
Mom asked a question,
Why do you always like to stay up late?
I answered, I'll go to sleep.
Turned off the light,
Heard parents still talking,
The two old people were comforting each other.
Mom cried bitterly last night,
My dad and I both persuaded her not to cry,
And ended up crying ourselves while persuading.
Couldn't fall asleep all the time,
My son used to sleep with me,
Now he's not around,
I don't know how he would cry.
Dozed off,
Suddenly heard dad shout,
Mom quickly asked him if he had a nightmare.
Dad cried in his dream.
Only fell asleep after a while.
I feel really unfilial,
I didn't find a good wife,
And made my parents in their seventies angry, sad, and scared,
I didn't let them enjoy any happiness,
But instead made them suffer with me,
And finally didn't keep the grandson who was taken care of for a year.
I also kept having dreams,
Felt very hard,
Couldn't escape that hard feeling.
Got up at 9:30 in the morning.

Today is the weekend,
I want to visit my son,
When my son was taken away yesterday,
I told him I would see him in a few days.
Called my ex-wife,
Didn't answer at first,
Then sent a message saying there was something to talk to her about,
Answered the call when I called again.
Just said I wanted to see the baby,
She said, what's wrong with your mind,
I'm busy now, no time to talk to you,
And hung up.
Waited for more than an hour,
Sent another message.
Said I hoped she would cooperate with me to exercise my visitation rights,
And the son misses his dad too,
Separating us so forcefully,
The son would not stand it.
Separated too hastily yesterday,
I still owed the son an explanation.
Let me see the son, I can persuade him to live with you well.
My ex-wife still didn't agree,
Said, I haven't seen him for half a year and you come for one day, how can you say that?
I explained to her that you forcibly didn't let the son see me,
The son naturally had no way,
But this is easy to leave psychological trauma,
I see him and persuade him to live with you well,
He will listen to me,
Then it's easier for you to take care of him.
I asked my ex-wife not to only care about her own feelings,
But not consider the son's feelings.
She only replied that the baby is very well with her,
No discomfort.

So my ex-wife is such a self-righteous person,
Not caring about others' feelings at all.
The baby didn't want to go with her yesterday,
Kept being held by me,
Refused to get down.
Then was forcibly taken away from my hands,
The baby cried so hard that he couldn't catch his breath,
Lips turned purple,
Finally managed to cry.
The baby asks for me every day,
Sticks to me,
Wants me to play with him,
Sleep with him.
When I was around,
Grandma washed his face, dressed him, put on shoes, he didn't want to,
Must have me do it for him.
The son is so attached to me,
How can he adapt to going to his grandmother's house?
Alas...
If this is the case,
How can the baby's mind not have trauma?
Of course,
If this is also a kind of adaptation,
It can barely be said,
But this kind of adaptation,
Is just being unable to resist and can only bear it silently,
This adaptation process will bring psychological shadow to the son.
Anyway, can't reason with my ex-wife,
She doesn't understand these principles,
She doesn't know how to understand others' feelings,
In her world,
She is the first.
She is the kind of person who only cares about herself and not others.
That's why she didn't come to see her son for half a year.
When the son was with me,
She didn't want to see me,
Even the son disappeared.
She didn't want to hear my voice,
Didn't even call the son.
And also bit back saying I didn't let her see the son.
She sent a message yesterday saying,
Hope to part amicably.
I just understood her meaning now,
She means that the son is with her,
And doesn't want me to contact her,
Wants me to completely disappear from her world.
The son is with her,
I must contact her,
I want to see my son regularly.
Otherwise,
Even if she asks me to contact her, I won't pay attention to her.
Like the son was with me for more than half a year,
She didn't want to call, didn't want to meet,
Then let's live our own lives, don't call, don't meet.
She has the heart to not contact me,
Not come to see the baby,
I'll just treat her as gone.
I'm done with her.
But the son is with her,
I have to contact her,
She can not see the baby,
I can't.

Of course,
In her eyes,
The son was picked up for only one day,
And let the son come back to me,
Impossible.
Considering this problem from her perspective,
The answer is like this.
But if for the baby's mental health,
Letting me pick him up and persuade him is also a good thing.
But if my ex-wife is the kind of person who can think this way,
How did we come to this step?

[ Last edited by ko20010214 on 2009-2-6 at 15:29 ]

It has been about ten years since I last read a book...

After starting work,
I basically haven't read a serious book.
In the beginning,
I still had the idea of taking the postgraduate entrance exam,
I bought a few tutorial handouts to read,
but I read them in a desultory way,
and I also took the exam once,
later I didn't even have the courage to check the score.
After that, I almost didn't read any books.
I also read some wonderful posts on the Internet,
and also read some e-books.
I once downloaded nearly 1GB of e-books,
but I didn't read them with concentration.
And reading e-books doesn't seem like reading a book,
there's no taste of reading a book.

My son isn't with me,
suddenly I feel a lot more empty.
So I thought of reading books.
Most of the books on the bookshelf are professional books,
and some are the books left over from when I wanted to take the postgraduate entrance exam before,
there are only a few books that can be read.
I went to the second floor to move the desk that had been dusted for a long time up,
and placed it by the window of the study,
the light here is very good,
very suitable for reading.

The real time to settle down and read books is at night.
Both TV sets at home are broken,
and even the cable TV interface of the projector was damaged in the last move,
there isn't a single thing to watch TV,
there really aren't any programs at night,
so I thought of sitting at the desk,
and randomly picked up a high school Chinese textbook to read.

This isn't a regular textbook,
I don't know if it's appropriate to say this,
this is a Chinese reader,
used in conjunction with the textbook, and it's something for students to read outside of class under the guidance of teachers.
I turned from the first page,
the beginning is five essays by Wang Guozhen,
then "On Money" by Xu Xu, "Money" by Wang Zeke,
"Praying Mantis" by Zhang Zhongxing,
"Window of the Old House" by Yu Qiuyu,
"Meditation of the Giant Buddha" by Xu Molin.
I just read these few articles first.

Wang Guozhen's prose, or rather poetry,
this kind of prose written by a poet also exudes poetic flavor,
in my mind,
there's always some petty bourgeois sentiment in it.
It's written very well,
the writing skills are also good,
the conception and thought are also positive and progressive,
but I always feel like it's a castle in the air,
like a young and inexperienced teenager.
These few articles were just flipped through in a hurry.

The next two articles are both about money,
divorce of course can't be separated from property division,
(sometimes I think the Wubi input method is a bit magical,
for example, the word "division" and the word "infringement" are input the same,
I wanted to type the word "division", but accidentally typed "infringement",
but this kind of property division, isn't it a kind of infringement on my property?
There are some other words, I can't remember them for a while,
two words with the same input,
one seems to be the explanation of the other,
and this kind of explanation,
but there's a lot of ironic flavor,
it's like directly exposing the true meaning of a word by piercing the hypocritical skin of a word,
directly revealing the true meaning of this word)
to put it bluntly, it's just money.
Law is sacred, but when it meets money, the law vanishes;
Love is sacred, but when it meets money, love vanishes;
There are almost true truths in the world, almost good morals, almost beautiful fashions,
but now they are all subordinate to money, existing because money exists, and not existing because money doesn't exist.
This paragraph seems to be written specifically for me to read,
ha,
everything I've encountered in the past year,
including quarrels between husband and wife,
the court making a random judgment,
the son being taken away,
property being infringed,
which thing doesn't have money at work?
My ex-wife's family is rich and powerful,
it's inevitable that I ended up like this.
It's ridiculous that my ex-wife still has the face to say that her family is supported by virtue,
when did she ever bring a group of relatives to show off to me,
if it weren't for her family having a little power,
how could those messy relatives come at call,
willing to lick her family's feet?
How could that judge be so partial and perverse, making random judgments?
It's funny that the richer the rich are,
the more they want to plot against others' money,
stooping to all sorts of means.
I saw that the bowl in the restaurant was cute and just took it away,
took the big bowl of the other person to hold vegetables and didn't return it,
and even had the gall to say that who let his vegetables be priced so expensive.
How could people like us who were educated with "A man of integrity does not drink from the盗泉" accept this?
Maybe I was too blind at that time? Love is blind?
Or was I too impatient at that time? Old house on fire? (I got married relatively late)
In short,
I have had this lesson,
I must see people clearly in the future.

In the past, I only knew "A praying mantis trying to stop a chariot" (when 当 is homophonic with 挡?), "The praying mantis catches the cicada, while the oriole is behind",
I didn't know the origin or the original text of these idioms.
In the article "Praying Mantis", all the answers are there.
The former comes from "Zhuangzi·Ren Jian Shi":
Don't you know the praying mantis? It gets angry and raises its arms to block the rut, not knowing that it is incompetent.
There is also "Han Shi Wai Zhuan" volume eight saying:
King Zhuang of Qi went hunting, and there was a praying mantis raising its foot to fight its wheel, and asked his driver: "What kind of insect is this?"
The driver said: "This is a praying mantis, it is an insect that knows how to advance but not how to retreat, does not measure its strength and lightly confronts the enemy."
King Zhuang said: "If it were a person, it must be a warrior in the world."
So he turned the car to avoid it.
(Warrior input is the same as capable, only capable people can be called warriors, ha, the magic of Wubi input can be seen from this)
The latter comes from "Shuo Yuan" volume nine "Zheng Jian":
There is a tree in the garden, and there is a cicada on it. The cicada is high up, crying and drinking dew, not knowing that the praying mantis is behind it. The praying mantis bends its body and wants to catch the cicada,
and doesn't know that the oriole is beside it. The oriole stretches its neck to peck the praying mantis, and doesn't know that the bullet is below it. These three all strive to get the profit in front of them and don't care about the troubles behind them.

At the end of the article, it is written that I want to get a painting and calligraphy of a praying mantis, and the author told his wife this meaning,
the person in the room said: "You have always been the kind who thinks well but does little, it would be good to make an exception this time."
(The so-called person in the room is the wife's meaning, just like in Hunan dialect it's called tang ke, and in the countryside it's called wu li ren, scholars are scholars, they just love to be pretentious)
I think,
I am the same,
I hope I can make an exception too.
Whether it's reading books or coding,
I hope I can persevere,
not just think but not do.
I hope I can live a fulfilling new life,
have my own hobbies and pursuits,
and no longer be muddling along like before.

"Window of the Old House" I have read before,
it's about a woman named He Ying,
when she was young, she yearned for a new life,
she also read books and received education,
but later she still lived the life of an ordinary mountain woman,
went around in a circle, and went back again,
maybe this is life.

The last article is about the story of Monk Haitong carving the Leshan Giant Buddha,
in the past I only knew that the Leshan Giant Buddha is a scenic spot,
I didn't know the difficulties and twists and turns in it,
let alone that it was built to control water,
to eradicate the three river floods (Qingyi River, Minjiang River, Dadu River) and build the sacred statue by splitting the mountain wall, borrowing the Buddha's power to suppress the wind and waves.

I only read the book for about half an hour,
but I spent one and a half hours writing notes...
Is it reading books?
Or taking notes??

That's it for now.

[ Last edited by ko20010214 on 2009-2-9 at 00:27 ]

When it comes to the matter of reading, I also have some feelings. There is an article online, and I can identify with it. If you think it's inappropriate, you can delete it.

When I graduated, a doctoral teacher once told me, please read one book every year after graduation. Many people, once they graduate, don't read a book for many years. I thought it was funny at that time. For someone like me who loves reading, what's a book? Even dozens of books are nothing to me. But looking back now, this advice unfortunately came true. Over the years, I really haven't read a single book.
It's not that I don't want to read, but in the busy and tiring life, there's simply no time to read. Every day, I come home tired and just want to lie quietly on the sofa to accumulate the last bit of energy for the hard work tomorrow. After all, in this world, except for my own efforts, no one can help me.
What about your situation? I don't know, but there must be people similar to me in this big world, although this is from a probabilistic perspective.
The reason why I don't read books now is actually that there are really no good books for me to read. I need a book that can inspire my will to survive, a book that can touch me from the heart. Unfortunately, until another spring is about to come, I still can't find such a book. I doubt if there really is a book that can encourage people to survive in such a society in China.
If I can't find it, I won't read books, and even won't read newspapers. Originally, I always read "Southern Weekend" and "Reading". But since Southern Weekend changed its people, looking at those sycophantic words of prosperity and peace, I feel disgusted. So I swore an oath not to read Southern Weekend again. I don't read "Reading" magazine either because some of the articles now don't suit my taste.
I think I have a lot of prejudices against the Chinese intellectual circle, the media, and the writers. This is because of their distorted portrayal of the world I live in. When I see their works, I will have an illusion of not knowing where I am. Is it me who is wrong, or are they all wrong? For a long time, I haven't watched TV, especially domestic TV stations (including the second-dog Phoenix TV). I absolutely don't touch these things written by high-level people, although I have been educated by them for these decades.
I isolate myself, and then the world becomes clearer in my eyes. I see the tears of prostitutes, the pain of the disabled, the grievances of laid-off workers, the hardships of peasant brothers (I am also a descendant of peasants, but I dare not say I am the son of some Chinese), my own hesitation and sorrow in the storm.
Experts say that young people should read more books. But I suggest that you teachers read less books. Except for some books that can really improve your professional ability and learn foreign languages well, don't read domestic newspapers and media. It's boring. Except for making you masturbate in imagination like those "patriots", you get no benefits. What country strong people strong, you first take care of your own three meals and food and clothing.
I admit that when my classmates were protesting against the US bombing of the embassy, I was sleeping soundly in the dormitory. I slept well. Because I really can't think of what I should fight for for this country. Because from my birth to now, and probably in the future, this country has never taken care of me. I came to the city from the countryside, and it cost my parents 20 years' savings to get my household registration. My childhood was spent in the sand and mud of the construction site, lonely and melancholy. Now I eat a lot every meal because I always have a sense of hunger. These are what the current young people can't experience. My poor parents raised me with their hard work, but I didn't feel any care from the motherland. Even my study required paying sponsorship fees. I grew up under the discrimination of urban people, although later I also became an urban person.
Reading is actually to seek truth, or perhaps to approach truth. But now Chinese education, including the media, naturally tells you not to think. When the people think, God gets nervous. So we need to strengthen learning. Not reading books may let you live in your own world, but reading books, you become a prop for others.
Of course, such a proposal is indeed a bit cynical. I estimate that many gentlemen will whip my such argument vigorously. But I don't live for the country, and of course, I won't pay attention to these people. I think if the recent very popular Commissioner Zhang saw the suggestion, he would probably stand up in anger. This won't do. The "Proposal to Strengthen the Moral and Ideological Education of Adults"恐怕 has to be submitted to the Chinese People's Political Consultative Conference.
I used to also write articles to criticize the media, calling on the media to have conscience and not to talk nonsense. Now I know it's completely useless. This country has rotted to the bone, and has been alienated into an unpredictable power. Looking at those perverse policies, I, a commoner, have nothing to say. If there is no fixed law, the country will not be a country.
What book to read in such a society? What books are there to read? Even books with ugly women can get the Provincial Five Ones Spiritual Civilization Award. Can we still believe those professional writers like parasites? Since all books are insipid eulogies, it's better not to read them.

Extracted from "Essential Common Sense for Living in Chinese Society" Part Sixteen