China DOS Union

My joke collection:

Before forwarding this, I kept wondering whether it might cause a lot of stubborn people to bother hospitals. Just read it and have a laugh, but whatever you do, don't try it!

I don't know whether light bulbs in Taiwan are the same as in Britain.

In Britain, the wrapping paper on light bulbs all has a warning -- do not put that object into your mouth. It means don't put a light bulb in your mouth. Damn it... who would put this thing in their mouth? British people really do have some idiots... Let me tell you, nothing is absolute in this world!

One day I was watching TV at home with an Indian friend, and I brought this up. He told me their elementary school textbooks mentioned it too: once a light bulb is put into the mouth, it gets stuck, and no matter what you do, you can't get it out. He was absolutely certain the book said so... But I was very doubtful. I thought the surface of a light bulb is very smooth, and if it can go in, that proves the mouth is big enough for it to go in and out, so in theory it should also come back out.

But this Indian idiot just kept saying that if the book said so... then it must be right... I got angry at his attitude of never seeking to understand anything. I said he was stupid, he said I couldn't read English and didn't read books... and we started arguing... I went home furious, picked up an ordinary-sized light bulb and sat on the bed thinking it over. I still believed I was right. Thinking of that Indian friend's ignorance, and also in the spirit of a scientist ----- bold hypothesis, careful verification.

I decided to prove him wrong. Of course, I also took safety measures... bought a bottle of cooking oil and brought it home. If it got stuck, I'd pour in oil. I refused to believe it wouldn't slip out! Once everything was ready, without another word I put the light bulb into my mouth... It slid in within less than a second, quite easily too... If it went like this, there should be absolutely no problem taking it out. I thought, you Indian idiot, now look at the wisdom and courage of us Chinese! Not like you bookworm... Thinking China had defeated India... I started laughing from the heart... Haha! So I casually tugged the bulb a bit......... okay! I'll use a little more force ......... o.k～ I'll open my mouth a bit wider ......... no problem, I'll open it as wide as possible and use a bit more force (have to be very careful not to break the bulb) ......... Damn! ... it really got stuck inside...... Good thing I still had that bottle of cooking oil......... (30 minutes later) I had poured in 3/4 of the bottle, and half of that went into my stomach, but the light bulb still wouldn't budge... At that point, I could only call for help ....................... Just as I had dialed halfway, I remembered there was a light bulb stuffed in my mouth... How was I supposed to talk? So now I had no choice but to ask the neighbors for help. After writing a note, I went to find the old woman next door.

The moment she saw me she cried out in alarm... I immediately showed her my note ---please call me a taxi and tell the driver to take me hospital. (Please hail me a taxi, and also tell the driver to take me to the hospital.) She looked at it for about 1.75 minutes and then burst out laughing... (If I could have spoken I would have f**ked her.) 15 minutes later, the taxi came.

The driver saw me and laughed for a while (actually he never stopped the whole time). In the taxi he kept asking why I had done such a thing... (...damn him... how was I supposed to answer?) He also kept saying my mouth was too small, and if it were his mouth there'd be no problem... I looked at his mouth and it really was big... But I really wanted to tell him, no matter what, don't try it... too bad I couldn't open my mouth! Looking in his rear-view mirror, I seemed to have a goldfish in my mouth... At the hospital, the nurses scolded me for more than ten minutes, saying I was wasting their time.

They even made me stand in a very long line... I stayed among the crowd for 2.5 hours... 2.5 hours... Those badly injured people in terrible pain, the moment they saw me, it was like they stopped hurting... Everyone secretly laughed... I felt I was still of some use... The doctor put cotton on both sides inside my mouth, then smashed the light bulb... and took the pieces out one by one... My mouth swelled up badly... In the end he told me not to try it again next time, and to tell others about my experience.. I told him I definitely wouldn't.

As I was leaving the hospital, I thought there couldn't possibly be any creature on earth as idiotic as me... When I opened the door to leave, a man came straight toward me -- it was that taxi driver from before... with a light bulb in his mouth.

That really isn't easy to pull out, probably because of air pressure.

Haha...... but whatever you do, don't let anyone try it...

Hehe, already this grown up and still doing something like this.....~!~?~

I'm dying laughing

Hehe, that's hilarious

Wahahaahaha, after reading this my back pain got better hahaha

It should be because of air pressure.
Using cooking oil would only make it even harder to pull out.
Try inserting a tube so the outside air and the air inside the body can circulate. I think that's how the hospital got the light bulb out too.

That was close, I almost choked to death while eating. By the way, moderator mys's forum avatar often has "a light bulb in his mouth"