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贴图灌水、文学娱乐专区 » Repost: The Ten Commandments of DOS
Printable Version  720 / 12
Floor1 MYS Posted 2003-05-12 00:00
元老会员 Posts 1,637 Credits 5,170 From 广东佛山
The Ten Commandments of DOS
Translator's note: it's an outdated joke, bringing back those days when we used DOS.
     (These are not Moses' Ten Commandments!)

1. I am thy DOS; thou shalt have no operating system before me, unless Bill Gates can profit from it.

2. Thy DOS is a character-based, single-user, single-tasking, standalone operating system. Thou shalt not try to make it networked, multitasking, or display a graphical user interface.

3. Thy hard disk shall never have more than 1024 sectors; thou dost not need that much space.

4. Thy applications and data must be smaller than 640K of memory; after all, that is already ten times that of a CP/M machine. Cherish this 640K of memory, and do not foul it up with device drivers, memory managers, or other useful things.

5. Thou shalt use the true slash character ("\) to separate thy path directories. Thou shalt learn it and love it, even though typewriter keyboards do not have it; yet it shall become the standard on computer keyboards.
(Translator's note: UNIX uses “/” as the path separator.)

6. Thou shalt edit and stir up the sacred contents of CONFIG.SYS and AUTOEXEC.BAT until the functions of DOS suit thy liking, and never give up in disgust.

7. In thy heart thou knowest that DOS must maintain backward compatibility with the sacred version 2.0, and has blindly missed the chance to be compatible with the creations of the latter half of this century. But thou canst still run WordStar 1.0.

8. Improve thy memory. For example, thou must remember that JD031792.LTR is a letter thou wrote to JANE three years ago, mentioning the taxes thou mayest deduct because of thy donation to her organization. When the tax collector from the Internal Revenue Service asks thee for proof, thy memory is all thou hast.

9. Choose the names of thy directories carefully, for renaming a directory is difficult. Nor shalt thou try to relocate thy directory tree.

10. Learn well the Vulcan Nerve Pinch (ctrl-alt-del), for it often becomes thy savior. Thou shalt sincerely tell everyone that rebooting DOS is to solve its frequently occurring problems.
Floor2 如是大师 Posted 2003-05-12 00:00
元老会员 Posts 3,351 Credits 9,654 From 湖北
Oh, profound...
Floor3 Dark-Destroy Posted 2003-05-12 00:00
元老会员 Posts 3,551 Credits 8,312
Hehe.... brilliant move...
Floor4 沈洁 Posted 2003-05-12 00:00
金牌会员 Posts 1,812 Credits 4,590 From 上海市
Ugh!
Classical Chinese is what I'm worst at!
Floor5 Dark-Destroy Posted 2003-05-12 00:00
元老会员 Posts 3,551 Credits 8,312
Hehe, then you have to learn it!!
Floor6 bgn Posted 2003-05-13 00:00
中级用户 Posts 78 Credits 349
Excellent, thanks.
Floor7 Roy Posted 2003-06-02 00:00
管理员 Posts 1,633 Credits 4,869
Bump
Floor8 荆棘鸟 Posted 2003-06-03 00:00
高级用户 Posts 144 Credits 537 From 河南
Let's all keep pressing ctrl-alt-del

Hehe
Floor9 LanE Posted 2003-06-04 00:00
银牌会员 Posts 648 Credits 1,835
Please hold down the ctrl and alt keys on the keyboard with your left hand, then use your right hand to hit the delete key at a rate of twice per second (faster is even better). Press it more than 1000 times, and something wonderful will happen........................
Floor10 pc1415926 Posted 2003-06-10 00:00
初级用户 Posts 24 Credits 167
The following is quoted from LanE's post at 2003-6-4 19:03:30:
Please hold down the ctrl and alt keys on the keyboard with your left hand, then use your right hand to hit the delete key at a rate of twice per second (faster is even better). Press it more than 1000 times, and something wonderful will happen........................


A person calling himself windows comes out from inside the computer and says to you, “Are you trying to wear me to death!!”
Floor11 LanE Posted 2003-06-10 00:00
银牌会员 Posts 648 Credits 1,835
Looks like pc1415926 tried it, and the result was pretty good
Floor12 wphs0326 Posted 2004-04-07 00:00
银牌会员 Posts 509 Credits 1,708 From 安徽淮南
Remember it well................
Floor13 wphs0326 Posted 2004-04-07 00:00
银牌会员 Posts 509 Credits 1,708 From 安徽淮南
Remember it well................
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