China DOS Union

This piece is very old, but very classic.

That day, I hid a knife inside my trench coat, because I was going to kill an enemy.
I hated her very much, but I didn’t dare curse her out, so I had no choice but to choose murder.
She wasn’t tall, but she was a top student at a martial arts school. I figured I couldn’t beat her barehanded, so I had to hide a knife.
She was very beautiful, but she never even looked at me, so I hated her very much, so I was going to murder her.

I couldn’t murder her at her school, because the kids at the martial arts school were all very good at fighting, and after killing someone I was afraid I

wouldn’t be able to get away in one piece; I also couldn’t murder her at her home, because she wasn’t close with me, so she definitely wouldn’t open the

door for me; I couldn’t murder her in the daytime either—if people saw me I’d be caught by the Public Security Bureau and shot.
　　
So at night, braving the bitter cold, I lay in ambush on the road she took home. To work up my courage, I drank a whole bottle of

erguotou (a two-liang bottle). But I’m not very good at drinking baijiu. After lying in wait for a while I fell asleep, and the result was that when I woke up the next day

I had caught a cold. Right now I’m in the hospital on an IV drip, but I definitely will not give up.

The doctor said I had to stay two more days before I could be discharged, so I still have to wait two days before I can continue my plan.
“Eh, nurse! Where’s the knife in my trench coat?”
“Oh, I borrowed it?”
“For what?”
“To peel apples~ ”
　　
A young nurse is just a little nurse.
Her face was very fair, maybe because the white coat set it off;
her eyes were very big, maybe because the big glasses set them off.
The little nurse wasn’t as pretty as my enemy, but she still counted as a beauty.
But even if she was a beauty, how could she take the knife I was going to use for killing and use it to peel apples?
So I got a little angry, and I said, “How could you use that knife to peel apples?”
The little nurse stared at me with her big eyes and said, “But this was an apple knife to begin with.”
I went from a little angry to very angry, and I said, “No no, anyway, I use it for something else!”
The little nurse picked up my knife and examined it closely. She said, “I can’t see what else it could be used for. Could it be for killing

people?”
I was greatly alarmed. My criminal plan had actually been seen through by a little nurse. This was trouble now…
No, I have to kill her first to silence her!
So I hurriedly sat up, wanting to snatch the knife from her hand, but she shoved me back onto the bed in one move: “Don’t move!

Your IV’s not finished yet!”
I asked how much longer, and the little nurse said one more hour.
Fine then. Waiting another hour before killing to silence her won’t be too late.
Sigh… not only good things come with many difficulties, bad things do too…
To pass the time, I had no choice but to chat a bit with this “living witness” first: “Can you give me back my knife?”
The little nurse said I looked silly, and she was still saying hehe.
After saying hehe she asked again, “Who are you planning to use it to kill?” and then said hehe again.
I thought that anyway, in one hour she’d be dead, so there was no harm in telling her.
I said, “The person I want to kill is my enemy.”
The little nurse went hehehehe and said, “Did she offend you?”
I said, “Of course she offended me! She… she’s very pretty, but she won’t even look at me once!”
The little nurse changed from hehe to haha, and said, “That’s not enough to murder someone, is it?”
I said I had nothing to say to you, and I also said hmph.
　　
!!!
When you’re sick, it seems very easy to get sleepy. I fell asleep before the IV was finished.
When I woke up, the little nurse was already gone.
The one in the room wearing a white coat was another nurse, with wrinkles on her face—a not-small nurse.
Her skin wasn’t fair, and her eyes weren’t big, so I didn’t want to kill her; besides, that knife was gone.
I guessed the little nurse had taken it away to play with.
I was willing to guess that because I was worried she had gone to report me.
Of course, that possibility couldn’t be ruled out either.
The little nurse must already be on her way to the Public Security Bureau, and this “not-small” nurse must have been sent to watch me.
I began calculating how to escape from this hospital and kill the little nurse before she turned me in.
I said I wanted water, and the not-small nurse went to pour some.
I sprang up at once, rushed to the window, climbed onto the sill… unfortunately, I forgot that my room was on the seventh floor

…
So I could only slink back to the bed and look for another good plan.
When I climbed to the window, I was wearing only a pair of red briefs, and the wind, seeing my bare body, came rushing in violently.
By the time I got back under the covers, I was sneezing nonstop.
The not-small nurse was afraid I’d pass my cold to her, so she quickly put on a mask. Later she still wasn’t reassured, so she left.
I thought this was a good opportunity.
Having learned from the failure of my first escape attempt, I first put on the clothes hanging on the rack, then dashed out the door and ran like mad.
After turning a few corners, I still hadn’t found the exit, but by accident I ran into the little nurse.
She stared at me with her big eyes and said, “The toilet is at the corner up ahead.”
Panting heavily, I said, “Wh-who’s going to the toilet, I’m looking for you!!!”
The little nurse was taken aback.
I said, “Give me back my knife!”
The little nurse hehe’d, then said, “You’re really funny.”
I looked left and right. Seeing no one around, I let a murderous look show on my face.
I thought… strangling this little nurse to death shouldn’t be much of a problem, right?
　　
Murder》!!!
I made as if to pounce, but the little nurse pulled that knife out of her pocket.
After hesitating a bit, I had no choice but not to act rashly for the moment—she had a weapon in her hand.
The little nurse asked, “This one?”
I answered, “Yes, yes, give it back to me!”
She seemed to have taken an interest in my knife, because she actually asked, “Can you give it to me?”
I had no other choice, and said dejectedly, “The knife’s in your hand, whatever you say goes.”
Then the little nurse escorted me back to the hospital room.
I say “escorted back” because she was gripping the murder weapon tightly in her hand.
Sitting on the hospital bed, I kept staring at the little nurse, pondering how to get rid of this living witness.
The little nurse stole a glance at me and said, “What are you staring at? So annoying!”
I knew she found me annoying, because I was a would-be murderer, and I was also going to kill her to silence her.
Of course, she didn’t know this intention of mine, and I couldn’t let her know. I had to take her by surprise and get rid of her—killing has to be by surprise.
The little nurse looked at the card by the head of the bed and read my name. Not to be outdone, I looked at the badge on her chest and read her name.
The little nurse hmph’d, then made a face at me.
The face the little nurse made wasn’t scary at all. Instead it was very cute, and so I again had the impulse to kill her.
For the next two days, we were together morning and night.
She gave me lots of chances, but unfortunately I didn’t seize a single one. It seems murder really is a discipline…
When I was going through the discharge procedures, I had no choice but to ask her for contact information. She very readily wrote her mobile number on

a little slip of paper and handed it to me.
That works too. There’s plenty of time ahead. She’ll definitely die by my hand, I thought.

At noon on the second day after leaving the hospital, I lay in ambush under the big tree at the hospital entrance waiting for her to appear.
Because a phone number alone was far from enough.
I also had to figure out the route she took home.
　　
!
I had been hiding behind that tree for ten minutes. I hadn’t spotted the little nurse, but she spotted me first.
She came up behind me, patted my shoulder, and asked, “What are you doing?”
At the time I didn’t know it was her. Actually, even if it really hadn’t been her, I couldn’t have answered truthfully. It was just an awful kind of

conditioned reflex.
When people suddenly ask me something, I answer: “I’m going to follow a pretty little nurse with glasses…”
Of course I regretted saying that at once, so I turned around and looked—and the person I wanted to follow was standing right behind me smiling.
Her smile was very pretty, but it had to be the kind that was making fun of me. So although she smiled at me, I didn’t appreciate it one bit. I still

wanted to kill her.
Although I was determined to kill her, when my little plot to tail her was exposed, I still felt extremely embarrassed.
Because I was embarrassed, my face turned red, and when my face turns red I can never speak.
The little nurse hugged a folder to her chest and pretended to look around. Every now and then she glanced at me, then snickered.
After laughing she said, “There is a little nurse with glasses, but she’s not pretty.”
My face felt like it was on fire. This was awful. There probably isn’t a murderer in the world more shy than me…
“Why do you want to follow her?” The little nurse was obviously interrogating me.
Hmph! I had to show some national spirit and refuse to confess even unto death!
I said I wouldn’t say it, I just wouldn’t say it. She said come on, tell me, tell me, don’t be shy. I said I still wouldn’t say it—no matter how you

asked, in any case I just wouldn’t say it.
She bobbed back and forth like a roly-poly toy, opened her mouth as if in a big laugh, then said again, “You’re really funny.”
I didn’t quite understand what she meant by that. Maybe she was cursing me in a roundabout way, and even if she wasn’t, I still couldn’t let her off.
The little nurse suddenly said to me, “My home is the red brick building a hundred meters ahead. Want to come over for tea?”
　　
!!!
This really was an unbelievable thing. This little nurse whom I was deliberately planning to kill to silence, was actually asking me whether I wanted to go

to her house for tea?
There had to be a plot here… ah! Right, she wanted to put rat poison in the tea and poison me to death!
This was striking first to gain the upper hand—as the saying goes, “A woman’s not a woman if she’s not ruthless, and she’s not a wife if she’s not

poisonous”!!!
Once I thought that through, I actually got a little nervous.
The little nurse coaxed and urged me: “It’s fine, my family won’t be home at noon. Come on.”
Nonsense. If they came back, how could you still have your way and make a move on a fine young man like me? Thinking that, I still got brought into her

house by her.
This was a big house. Only rich people live in big houses like this. I had to get a good look at the way in, otherwise I’d get trapped in here and not

find the exit.
Sure enough, no one was home at the little nurse’s place. I thought I should get rid of her before she poisoned me to death, but I had forgotten to

bring the weapon with me.
I thought I had enough strength to strangle this little brat, but not in the living room. The most suitable places for murder should be

the bathroom and the bedroom.
Thinking this, I said, “I want to go to your bedroom. Are you coming?”
The little nurse said, “Eh? Are you trying to get bad ideas about me?”
Heavens! She could actually see through my thoughts!?
Startled, I stammered, “N-n-n-no, I-I-I-I’m not, y-y-y-you’re talking nonsense…”
Tilting her head, the little nurse walked up to me. There was a half-smile on her face, and she stared at me so hard I kept wiping sweat off, not

understanding what she wanted to do.
Then I heard her say, “Sometimes I really think you’re so strange. Were you born this funny? Or are you deliberately acting like this because you’re trying to hit on me?”
Now I really didn’t understand. Calling me “funny” was one thing, but how could she think I was “trying to hit on her” and even “deliberately acting” ???
When she saw me standing there blankly without making a sound, she frowned hard (though even frowning hard, she didn’t look angry at all).

She said “angrily,” “Come on, say it, say it, I know what you’re thinking!”
I was done for. This little nurse was too terrifying!
I could only tell her honestly: “You know I have a motive for murder, so I want to kill you to silence you…”
The little nurse stared at me blankly for a long while, then suddenly burst out laughing “haha,” so hard she could barely stand, grabbing

my left shoulder with one hand.
She was definitely mocking me, saying I didn’t know my own limits…
Maybe she had a martial arts background too, perhaps even better at fighting than my pretty enemy. Otherwise, knowing clearly that I wanted to kill her, why

would she still laugh so happily?
In view of this, I had no choice but to abandon my attempt to commit the crime.
What was I supposed to do next? My mind was a complete blank…

!!!
The little nurse kept laughing. I knew she didn’t take my threat seriously at all.
Since that was the case, all I could do was stand there in a daze and see what she could do to me! Anyway, I hadn’t brought a weapon, so she couldn’t

lay hands on an unarmed man like me.
After a good while the little nurse finally stopped laughing and pulled my hand: “All right, I’ll show you my bedroom.”
Her hand was soft, not like the hand of someone skilled. And looking at her frame, she seemed so light and airy… it seemed… maybe… I

had worried too much…
The little nurse’s bedroom looked like the room of a child in kindergarten, full of fluffy little dogs and bears and things. Even if you smashed one hard on someone’s head, nothing would happen.
The little nurse said with a grin, “Sit anywhere.”
There was only one chair here, and it had already been occupied by a fuzzy teddy bear, so the only place left to sit was that gaudy multicolored bed.
I carefully felt around on it. The little nurse asked what was wrong, and I said I was checking whether there were any hidden mechanisms. The little nurse started laughing nonstop again.
I thought she belonged to the kind of girl who was born loving to laugh. But I still had to verify my earlier guess.
I asked, “C-can you tell me why you’re not afraid of me?”
The little nurse said, “Afraid of you??? What is there to be afraid of about you?”
That really hurt my pride a little. If that was true, then I really was an unqualified murderer.
Of course, I still had to keep the topic going, so I asked again: “I said I was going to kill you to silence you, didn’t I?”
The little nurse barely held back her laughter and said, “So that’s why you came into my bedroom!”
I nodded hard and, with a straight face, said, “Are you afraid now?”
The little nurse gave me a shove and said, “Oh, give it a rest!”
Then she made an inexplicable suggestion: “Come on, I’m hungry, treat me to a meal!”
I asked in shock, “Why?”
The little nurse answered, “I’m too lazy to cook, and even if I did you might not like it. After all, we’ve only just started.”
What did she mean by “just started”? Started what? I was confused…
In a muddle, we went out onto the street, found a restaurant, and started ordering dishes.
The little nurse seemed to have quite a big appetite and just kept ordering.
Meanwhile I was deeply worried, because I only had sixteen yuan and fifty cents in my pocket…
　　
!!!
Maybe the little nurse knew I didn’t have much money on me and wanted to trap me in this restaurant washing dishes and chopsticks…
I couldn’t fall into her trap, so I shamelessly asked her, “Did you bring money?”
“What for!” The little nurse rolled her eyes at me. “You said you were treating!”
I piled all the crumpled bills from my pocket onto the table and said pitifully, “This is all I’ve got left…

”
The little nurse stared at me with her mouth open and muttered, “Y-you can’t be serious…”
Then she opened her handbag and started taking things out, saying, “How can a guy go out without bringing money?”
She took out two big bills and stuffed them into my hand, saying, “I’ll lend you 200 yuan first. Anyway, for the first meal, you have to treat me.”
I scratched my head. This really was embarrassing. It looked like I was definitely going to owe her this favor.
Maybe the little nurse had calculated that I wouldn’t make a move on someone to whom I owed a favor. This girl really wasn’t simple!
Forget it. Anyway I was hungry too. Better fill my stomach first and then make plans.
　　
That meal cost eighty yuan, enough to cover a whole week of fast food for me. I wanted to give her back the remaining 120 yuan, but she refused.
She said, “If you’re paying it back, pay it all back together. I’m not a mortgage on real estate.”
I had no choice but to slink along behind her. Who told me to owe her money?
The little nurse asked, “Oh right, what kind of work do you do?”
I answered truthfully, “Still haven’t found a job. I just wander the streets all day.”
The little nurse jumped up, grabbed my arm, and cheered, “Great! I was worried you might not be free this afternoon!”
I asked, “For what?”
The little nurse pressed her face close and said, “I’m off duty this afternoon. Will you wander around with me? Hehe~ ”
Right then I felt like one head had become two. How had trying to kill someone turned into such a situation? It really was impossible to understand no

matter how I thought about it…
(And besides, she wasn’t even the main target.)

!!!
After that, we wandered around all afternoon.
The little nurse only went to big shopping malls, bought lots of teddy bears and kitty dolls, and made me carry all of them.
At the end, she even insisted that I buy her something. I bought her a fifty-cent pack of chewing gum as a gift, and she still wasn’t happy.
In the end I was forced to buy a jingling bracelet—which cost exactly 136 yuan, wiping out everything I originally had left on me…
　　
!!!
The little nurse seemed kind of silly, and probably wouldn’t have any effect on my plan, so I could just set aside this matter of “silencing the witness.”
Because of one careless mistake two days earlier, my enemy had gotten to live several more days. Really infuriating.
But afterward I still couldn’t find that weapon. I didn’t know whether the little nurse had stolen it away.
And I didn’t have a single cent in my pocket… this was really a headache…
I had no choice. Before becoming a murderer, I had to commit a robbery first.
To be on the safe side, I chose schoolchildren as my target. They had money and were vulnerable.
Other than being a bit shameless, there shouldn’t be any other difficulty in doing this.
Just as the idea arose, a little boy with a big schoolbag ran past me.
The opportunity came the moment I spoke of it. I rubbed my hands and pounced.
But then a woman’s scream sounded in my ear.
I was just wondering what was going on when something hit me in the back… and then I think I passed out…
When I woke up, I was in the hospital again.
Sitting by my side was a pretty girl. Looking carefully—heavens! It was actually my enemy!!!
When the pretty enemy saw I was awake, she spoke to me: “Awake~ How do you feel?”
I was already dumbfounded, and stammered, “Whatever… whatever you say… if I’ve fallen into your hands… then I guess…”
The pretty enemy froze for a moment and muttered quietly, “Could he have hit his head and broken something…”
Then she called out, “Kid, your lifesaving benefactor is awake. Hurry over and say thank you.”
There was now another child in the room—the very one I had just tried to rob.
Only after my pretty enemy explained it did I find out that I had somehow become a “hero” who “sacrificed himself to save someone”…
At the time, that little brat had run across the road, and a motorcycle couldn’t brake in time. It was just about to hit him, and then I pounced

over. I got hit but didn’t die…
I hadn’t become a robber, and had become a “hero” first instead… clearly heaven was against me… otherwise it wouldn’t just so happen that that child was my pretty enemy’s younger brother.
After taking X-rays, the doctor said I was fine and didn’t need to stay in the hospital. The pretty enemy asked, “He already fainted, how can you still say he’s fine?”
That damned doctor actually said, “Maybe he fainted from fright”… really fucking humiliating…
So my pretty enemy got happy. “Since you’re fine, then I really have to thank you properly first. Come on, I’ll treat you to a meal!”
“Another meal?!!!” I cried out in horror. “Y-you’re paying, right…”
The pretty enemy smiled at me. “No problem, let’s go.”
After changing clothes, I followed the pretty enemy out.
At the door of the hospital room, the doctor waved at me: “Come again when you have time~ ”
At the hospital entrance, I ran into the little nurse…
　　
!!!
The little nurse lit up with joy the moment she saw me, and shouted as if cheering, “Ah! You got hospitalized again!” As if she wished I’d come

stay in the hospital every day…
Just as I didn’t know how to answer, the little nurse cried out again, “Ah! Who’s she?”
The one she was asking about was my pretty enemy. Only then did I realize I still didn’t know this enemy’s name.
I hemmed and hawed, and the smile disappeared from the little nurse’s face. She pouted.
I scratched my dandruff everywhere.
The pretty enemy looked at me, then at the little nurse, and said to the little nurse with a smile:
“Don’t misunderstand. He saved my little brother’s life. I came to thank him.”
“Oh?”
“We were just planning to go eat. Come with us!”
The little nurse agreed without hesitation: “Wait for me, I’m going to ask for leave!”
……
Honestly, have I offended Tai Sui again this year or something? The two people who gave me the worst headaches had actually come together, and I was stuck in the middle…
……
The restaurant chosen by my pretty enemy was more upscale than the one the little nurse had taken me to last time.
So the little nurse secretly said to me, “Don’t tell me you didn’t bring money again.”
I said, “I just didn’t bring any.” I thought she was asking me to repay the debt. Anyway, no money, one life.
“Y-you-you… sigh…” The little nurse started reaching for her handbag again.
I quickly grabbed her hand to stop her: “Don’t rush, she said she was treating!”—I couldn’t let this debt get upgraded.
The little nurse stamped her foot hard, but I just kept holding her hand.
Seeing no other way, the little nurse changed the subject: “Who exactly is this woman?”
I said mysteriously to the little nurse, “She’s the person I want to kill!”
“Ah!!! She’s your…” The little nurse let out a huge “ah,” scaring me so badly I nearly stopped breathing.
“Shhh~~~~ My god, can’t you be quieter…”
The little nurse rolled her big eyes and thought for a moment, and suddenly an unhappy expression appeared on her face again.
She said, “You bastard! How come every pretty girl, you want to kill?”
I defended myself: “She’s my enemy!”
The little nurse asked, “Then what about me?”
“You?” I froze for a second. “What about you?”
The little nurse said, “Didn’t you say yesterday that you wanted to kill me too? Then what do I count as?”
I answered, “A living witness…”
The little nurse asked again, “What do you mean, living witness?”
I answered again, “The past tense of the ‘silencing’ in ‘kill to silence’!”
The little nurse stared at me blankly, then burst out laughing. After laughing, she suddenly put on a stern face and gave a hard “hmph.”
She said, “So she’s the main character? …No, no!!! This makes me so mad!!!”
At this moment, the pretty enemy suddenly appeared, blushing as she asked softly, “Can we go inside and talk while we eat?”
I looked around and only then realized that somehow more than a dozen people had gathered to listen to our conversation. My pretty enemy and her younger brother were obviously two of them…

!!!　　
That meal was very uncomfortable. Both women were red-faced and silent. It was only my pretty enemy’s younger brother who kept chirping away beside us.
That brat would first laugh at me—“Haha, fainted from fright”—then a moment later press me with questions: “Do you really have a grudge against my sister?”
At the end, he even reminded me, “My sister’s really tough. You definitely can’t beat her.”
My pretty enemy’s face was extremely red, and she kept giving that brat looks, but was too embarrassed to say anything.
The little nurse held in her laughter, but in the end she couldn’t hold it in anymore and sprayed a mouthful of food all over my face…
After the meal, the pretty enemy copied down a mobile number for me. Without saying a word, she blushed and ran off.
I panicked. I thought she hadn’t paid yet. The little nurse held onto me so I couldn’t chase after her. Luckily, later the waiter said the bill had already

been paid.
After leaving the restaurant, the little nurse kept an eye on me the whole day. She still seemed worried that I might go off and start thinking about murdering my pretty enemy again.
Actually, I had basically given up that idea already.
My pretty enemy was a very shy girl, which was why before she wouldn’t even look at me once. Since that was the case, treating her as an enemy had been purely a misunderstanding.
As for this so-called “living witness” by my side, that probably no longer held either. The only headache was… I owed her money.
After that, I had two such girls by my side, and as time went on I discovered I was heavily in debt. In order to repay it, I had to find a job.
So I applied and became a middle school teacher.
　　
The general situation that day when I went to apply was like this: after getting the application form, I first went to pee.
Halfway through peeing, a fat old man came rushing in like a whirlwind, squeezed in beside me and let loose, but in the process knocked the roll of forms tucked under my armpit into the urinal trough.
With all the splashing, that form turned dark yellow.
If I took a dark-yellow form to apply, I would definitely be yellow! So I grabbed the fat old man and demanded compensation.
The fat old man said he had an urgent meeting. I said I didn’t care—if you don’t compensate me, I’m not letting you go.
In the end, the fat old man pulled out pen and paper, scribbled a few words in flying haste and stuffed them into my hand, saying angrily, “Take it! More useful than the form!”
I couldn’t understand what was written on the paper, but with that piece of paper alone, I got the job as a middle school teacher.
The school leaders, including the principal, all treated me with the utmost courtesy. Only later did I find out that the fat old man I had peed beside was a high-ranking official in the Ministry of Education.
The school probably thought I was a relative of that high official.
Very quickly I was assigned my work and became the moral education teacher for a high school liberal arts class.
I told the little nurse about this, and she burst out laughing, insisting that even if beaten to death she wouldn’t believe it;
I also told my pretty enemy about this, and she burst out laughing too, but didn’t say she wouldn’t believe it even if beaten to death.
Whether those two believed it or not, the next day I still reported to school on time, because if I wanted to pay back what I owed them, I had to count on this.
　　
Before this I had only been a student, never a teacher, so I was a little impatient. The class bell hadn’t even rung yet, and I ran into the classroom.
It was noisy inside, and the feeling was very familiar. It made me recall the wonderful times many years ago when I used to pull girls’ braids.
Unfortunately, girls these days don’t wear braids anymore. Otherwise I definitely still wouldn’t be able to suppress the urge to yank them.
I wandered around the classroom a bit, then joined a circle of boys and watched them play cards.
At some point later I somehow joined in too. These students were really crafty. After only a few rounds, I had already lost eighty cents…
As everyone knows, I didn’t have even one cent on me.
Just as I was thinking of slipping away, the class bell rang, and the two boys who had won my money grabbed me and wouldn’t let go: “Pay up, pay up, the teacher’s coming.”
I broke free from them and ran for it: “I’ll give it to you next time, didn’t bring it today.”
The little boys couldn’t outrun me, and besides class had started so they didn’t dare chase me out for debt, so they could only shout curses behind me.
This made me feel proud for quite a while. I thought I’d gotten a great bargain.
Later, I found out things were not so simple after all. I still had to go back…
Because I was the moral education teacher for this class, and this very period was my class…

To be continued.....

Continued when? I’ve already waited 24 hours. ：）

Hehe...... sorry about that...... there were no replies... I thought nobody was interested......

What rotten luck. I owed the students money before class had even begun…
No help for it, I could only force myself to walk back into the classroom.
At the door, I secretly poked my head in for a look, and found more than forty pairs of eyes all glancing toward me, including naturally the two pairs that had won my money…
Startled, I shrank my head back again, and embarrassed laughter came from the classroom.
Sigh… for the sake of my end-of-month salary, I had to brave even a dragon’s pool and tiger’s den! So I steeled myself, strode up to the podium, and went all in.
Perhaps because of my majesty, the students immediately fell into a daze, and the whole classroom went as quiet as a morgue.
Haha, this must be the joy of being a teacher, I thought smugly, but very soon I discovered I had fallen into another awkward situation.
What was I supposed to say? I remembered that when I used to be a student, teachers were always eloquent, but I had never remembered what any of them actually said…
The forty-some students and I stared at each other for half a day, and I still couldn’t think of anything to say.
Chatter started breaking out below the podium, and finally a girl student couldn’t help standing up and asking me, “Excuse me… are you a teacher?”
It couldn’t have been better for someone to open the conversational floodgates. I hurriedly answered, “Nonsense. If I’m not a teacher, what am I doing here?”
Then I started becoming a bit eloquent: “Listen up, everybody. I’m your moral education teacher. Today the weather’s a bit chilly. Whoever didn’t put on enough clothes, hurry home and add some!”
The class came alive. The girls began staring at me lustfully, while those two boys who had just won my money were already pale as dirt, trembling in their seats.
Although my status was now one level above theirs, I’m not a hooligan after all, so I pointed at those two boys and asked their names.
Then I said to them very sincerely, “I lost eighty cents to you in cards just now. Once I get paid, I’ll definitely return it!”
The two little boys blushed. One of them said, “Sorry, teacher, we won’t play cards anymore in the future… gambling is bad…”
I didn’t think playing cards was bad at all. I said, “Everybody’s gambling luck and competing in intelligence. How come I can’t see what’s bad about it?”
The little boy blushed even harder and stammered, “Teacher, I know I was wrong…”
The students seemed bent on putting me, this teacher, in a respected position, so I didn’t argue further.
I asked them what topics they liked talking about, but nobody answered. So I talked about topics I liked.
I told them that when I was in school I really liked pulling girls’ braids, and I even discussed with them how to pull them in the most fun way.
I also told them about my experiences chasing girls in high school…
By the end of one class, the students were all saying, “Teacher, we totally love you to death!”
When school let out, a large group of girls competed to treat me to ice cream. I refused none of them and downed a whole dozen in one go.
As a result, after I got home I had stomach trouble, vomiting and diarrhea, miserable beyond words…
So being a teacher really wasn’t an easy job after all.
The little nurse called me, and when she heard I was sick, she was delighted beyond measure and shouted, “Great, great!! Hurry up and come be hospitalized!!!”
　　
　　
In the blink of an eye, half a month passed. Being a teacher was still an easy job for me.
Basically all I had to do every day was spend one or two forty-five-minute periods chatting nonsense with a big group of students.
Although I never brought a textbook, because the students responded well, the school leaders still thought very “highly” of me. 　
They even said, “Someone sent down from above really is extraordinary!” No doubt I had to thank that fat guy I peed with.
That day, bored out of my mind, I was playing cards with a few boys from the class when the little nurse came to see me.
The little nurse grabbed a student and interrogated him: “Is this guy really your teacher?” She still didn’t believe I had become a teacher.
The student’s answer made me feel very proud. He said, “He’s our best teacher!”
The little nurse still wasn’t convinced and pressed on: “Did he force you to say that?”
Afraid she’d scare the students, I pulled her and ran outside. The students shouted behind us, “Teacher’s girlfriend is so fun.”
Although she had confirmed that I wasn’t lying, the little nurse still seemed worried about one thing: “You’re not going to relapse into your old bad habit, are you?”
“What old bad habit?”
“For example, I think there are a few pretty little girls in this class. You’re not going to want to murder them, are you?”
“They’re not my enemies, and they’re not living witnesses either. Why would I kill them?”
While we were talking, we had reached the school gate. The little nurse suddenly asked again, “Does your pretty enemy come see you often?” 　
I hurriedly shook my head: “Of course not. Why would she come see me?”
“Then who’s that up ahead?”
I looked in the direction she was pointing. My pretty enemy was walking this way.
Before, she had never even looked at me straight on, making me so angry I wanted to kill someone. And now she was actually coming to school to see me. Fate really is something!
Overexcited, I waved and shouted, only to have the little nurse ram her shoulder hard into my ribs, leaving me unable to catch my breath for a long while.
Hearing my voice, the pretty enemy came running over eagerly.
Before she could speak, the little nurse insisted in an interrogating tone: “What are you here for?”
The pretty enemy was taken aback and embarrassed, and her face turned red: “What? I… I just happened to pass by here.”
Then she glanced at me and said, “Y-you really did become a teacher?”
The little nurse muttered “playing dumb” under her breath. I ignored her and quickly answered, “Of course, of course. In another half month I’ll be getting paid.”
I had to let both of them know that, so today’s lunch wouldn’t turn into me having to go rob students’ lunchboxes again.
Though now that I mention it, the students were actually very willing for me to rob their lunchboxes, especially those girl students.
Just as I was saying that, they showed up, each carrying a lunchbox and looking around.
“How strange, teacher isn’t hungry today?”
“I heard teacher’s girlfriend came to see him.”
“Teacher has a girlfriend?”
“That’s what those stinky boys said.”
“Wuu~~~ ”
　　
　　
At noon this day, the little nurse treated us, so my debt didn’t level up. We ate at the fast-food shop by the school gate.
Those girl students hid in the corner of the restaurant, peeking over, looking very unwilling as they stared at the little nurse and my pretty enemy.
The little nurse considered herself my girlfriend. I couldn’t object, because I owed her quite a lot of money.
As for my pretty enemy, her attitude wasn’t clear. She never said much, but she seemed to like calling my home, and I also often happened to run into her.

Since the students thought both of them were my girlfriends, then for now I might as well treat it that way. At least so far I hadn’t lost out on anything.
I told them I had no classes that afternoon, and then my pretty enemy said, “Then… why don’t you come to my house with me?”
The little nurse got anxious: “I’m on duty this afternoon, I can’t go, and you’re not allowed to go either!”
I stammered and said we’d see, maybe I wouldn’t go… Later the little nurse’s mobile rang, and she hurried off. Before leaving she reminded me: “You absolutely must not go.”
Actually I really wanted to go. My pretty enemy was still very mysterious in my mind, and I really wanted to know more about her.
So the moment the little nurse left, I said I wanted to go.
My pretty enemy smiled at me. I liked her smile very much, and it made me even more determined to go to her house.
At that moment, a girl student suddenly appeared beside me and whispered, “Teacher, you have to hold yourself back~”
I didn’t understand, and whispered back, “What does ‘hold yourself back’ mean?”
The girl student said mysteriously, “That woman definitely has bad intentions toward you. Be careful not to lose your innocence.”
I was startled and asked loudly, “Is that the kind of thing a high school girl ought to say???”
My voice was so loud that the girl students were scared and scattered in an instant. Then all that was left around me was my pretty enemy’s shy eyes staring at me…
I was a little suspicious that maybe the girl student’s words couldn’t be entirely dismissed. But losing my innocence didn’t seem like such a big deal either.
Thinking that, I very comfortably followed my pretty enemy on the road to her house.
“We’ve known each other for more than half a month now, right?” my pretty enemy asked—a pointless question.
“Yes, we got to know each other more than half a month ago,” I answered—a pointless answer.
“But it seems like you knew me long before that?” My pretty enemy seemed to have decided to make good use of this stretch of road to interrogate me.
“A long time… not that long…” I truly didn’t quite know how to answer that question.
“Actually, I’ve always wanted to understand—you and the little nurse were talking about that… that ‘murder’ and so on… what did it mean…”
Ah! So she really was interrogating me…
“I… at the time…” I scratched my head. This really wasn’t easy to explain. Forget it, I’d just be direct. “At the time I wanted to murder you!”
I had expected my pretty enemy to fly into a rage, but unexpectedly she blushed instead, pouted slightly, and rolled her eyes around.
I got a little scared, not knowing how she would deal with me…
　　
　　
On the way to my pretty enemy’s house, I confessed my criminal intention from half a month earlier. For the rest of the time, all I could do was leave it to fate.
“Can you tell me the reason?” The tone of my pretty enemy’s voice was strange, but I was certain: this definitely was not interrogation.
Since it wasn’t interrogation, answering became much easier for me. I was very frank: “Because you’re beautiful, but you wouldn’t even look at me once.”
My pretty enemy stopped talking. The whole way she just smiled secretly, and I could only follow honestly behind her, not daring to say a word.
As we were walking, suddenly a robber appeared and shouted at us: “I want to rob your money!”
I shrugged. “I don’t have money on me. Try robbing her.”
Although I had known long ago that my pretty enemy was very good at fighting, I had never seen it for myself. I thought this was just the chance.
My pretty enemy didn’t seem to have any urge to teach him a lesson. She only asked, “How much do you want?”
“F-fifty yuan!” The robber really had quite an appetite. But boldly robbing people in broad daylight was, in its own way, admirable courage.
My pretty enemy opened her handbag, took out a hundred-yuan bill, and said, “I don’t have any change. Can you make change?”
The robber impolitely snatched the money and left, saying, “Then just count it as me robbing you twice. I’m going.”
　　
So my pretty enemy was actually that timid. Later she added, “Besides, if I fought with a man in the street, people would laugh at me.”
I was a little suspicious that my earlier impression had been mistaken. Maybe my pretty enemy didn’t know martial arts at all, but I still couldn’t be sure.
Thinking that, I very much wanted to verify it. Of course I couldn’t do it in the street. I’d wait until we got to her house.

“Do you know martial arts?” The moment we got to her house, I couldn’t hold back my curiosity.
“Yes. My father runs a martial arts school, and I’ve been learning for a long time.” My pretty enemy nodded.
“I don’t quite believe it,” I said.
“Hehe, then do you want to try? Anyway no one’s home.” My pretty enemy said it jokingly, but I really did want to try.
Although I was a bit worried, I still tried. The moment I tried, I regretted it. I had only just made a move when she hooked my leg, and I fell so hard I was half dead on the spot.
But I still wasn’t convinced. I climbed up and lunged at her again. My pretty enemy, seeing how awkwardly I had fallen, kept laughing. In that laugh, I managed to pounce and knock her down onto the long sofa in her house.
My pretty enemy wasn’t big, and once I pinned her down she had no way out. I said, “Hehe, I win,” and she said, “Hmph, that doesn’t count.”
Her body was soft. It was the first time I had ever been pressing down on a girl like this. I felt very stirred up, so I freed one hand and touched her face.
My pretty enemy’s face went red as an apple. Flustered, she said, “Get up, what kind of behavior is this?”
The way she looked when she was shy was so cute that I couldn’t help kissing her on the mouth.
So it turned out I could beat my pretty enemy after all. Luckily that murder plan back then had never been carried out, or who knows what things would be like now.
Suddenly I heard the sound of the door opening behind me, and then a deep male voice shouted, “My god, what are you two doing!?”

　　
The deep male voice belonged to my pretty enemy’s father. I thought he was going to slaughter me, but instead I heard him muttering, “Oh,

my daughter’s grown up…” Then he left.
This was really awkward. I thought my face must be just as red as my pretty enemy’s.
I quickly climbed up from the sofa, and my pretty enemy also hurriedly sat up, lowering her head to straighten her clothes, not looking at me.
I thought she must be very angry. I thought she would burst into loud sobs, but I really didn’t know what I ought to do.
After a long silence, my pretty enemy suddenly stood up, walked in front of me, and then drove her knee into my stomach. 　
It came so suddenly that I hurt so badly I almost fainted, and for a long time I couldn’t catch my breath.
Then I heard her say, “From now on you’re not allowed to go looking for the little nurse.”
Though I’m a bit slow, I could understand that much. But even so, that didn’t mean she should hit people, did it?
Still, since our relationship was now settled, there would be plenty of chances later to hit her back.
“I was originally going to keep you for dinner, but Dad saw us like that just now, so maybe another time,” my pretty enemy said.
That afternoon we didn’t fight anymore. We talked quite a lot about funny things from my life as a teacher, and when dusk came, she sent me away.

Now I had a huge problem in front of me: what was I supposed to do about the little nurse?
Later I thought, my pretty enemy had only said, “You’re not allowed to go looking for the little nurse,” but she hadn’t said, “The little nurse isn’t allowed

to come looking for you.”
So I really didn’t need to worry too much. Although things had crossed the line a little today, they still hadn’t reached the level of “losing my innocence” that the girl student talked about.
Since neither of us had yet “lost our innocence,” then it meant we still hadn’t signed any kind of contract. Therefore continuing to see the little nurse couldn’t count as excessive.
On the way home, I kept struggling over this question in my heart. It seemed I still cared very much about the little nurse.
I was a little worried about how I should explain this afternoon’s events when I saw the little nurse.
I thought and thought, and before I knew it I had arrived home. As soon as I entered, I discovered that I hadn’t arrived at my own home at all, but at the little nurse’s home…
“Did you go to your pretty enemy’s house with her this afternoon?” That was what the little nurse asked the moment she saw me, not even giving me a chance to catch my breath.
The little nurse was a smart girl. I didn’t dare hide anything, so I answered honestly, “Yes.”
“Did you do anything bad with her?”
I guessed that by “anything bad” she meant “losing my innocence,” so I quickly shook my head: “No, we just fought for a bit.”
The little nurse’s expression looked very bad. I couldn’t let her know the detail that I had kissed my pretty enemy.
“Then who won?”
“Ha, of course I won.” Just talking about it made me proud. “I pinned her down on the sofa and she couldn’t move at all.”
The moment the words left my mouth, I knew disaster was coming.
　　　
The little nurse cried.
I knew that sentence I’d just said couldn’t possibly have a good outcome, but I hadn’t expected it to be this serious.
Sometimes a girl’s tears are the deadliest thing in the world. At least right now, I was like an ant on a hot pan, so anxious I couldn’t even think of words to comfort her.
　　　
As for exactly how I later turned this situation around, I don’t remember anymore. Maybe I didn’t turn it around at all. Anyway, right now I’m standing stupidly on the street at night, alone, in a daze.
Only at this moment did I realize I had learned how to be in love. But which one did I actually like more?
A problem like this shouldn’t have been troubling someone like me. I stood in the street all night, and incidentally prepared the next day’s lesson too.
　　
　　
“Hello, students!”
“Hello, teacher!”
“Teacher is not well!” I said dejectedly.
A bright and clever girl student stood up: “Teacher, did you get your heart broken?”
“No. I… I want to discuss something with everyone.” I had no choice but to bring out this private problem and discuss it with the students, because they were my only forty-some friends.
I told the students the story of me, the little nurse, and my pretty enemy, and then set them a topic: “What should teacher do?”
Under the organization of the class leaders, the students began discussing in groups. Quite a lot of them spoke, but their opinions were very far from unified.
Some suggested I dump the little nurse and focus on chasing the pretty enemy. Some suggested I dump the pretty enemy and chase the little nurse.
Even more girl students thought the best plan would be to dump both of them. I knew that this third suggestion contained an emotional element and should not be adopted.
And clearly the first two suggestions should not be adopted either. The two boys who had won my money, on the other hand, thought I should chase both at once.
Because everyone’s opinions were directly opposed, the boys and girls argued nonstop, and classroom discipline was at one point completely out of control. 　
I felt so annoyed. So I left the classroom. Of course, what annoyed me was my state of mind, not the students’ fault.
Before leaving I told them each to write an 800-word argumentative essay on this matter and hand it in tomorrow.
This was the first time I had ever assigned homework, and for the first time in history the students were full of enthusiasm for homework assigned by a teacher, shouting in unison, “Okay!”


As I was leaving the classroom, I ran into the principal. He patted my shoulder and said, “You really have your own way of doing things!”
I stared blankly, like a dead fish.
The principal also said, “I listened to your class just now from outside. Very innovative. Talents like you are rare!”
I stared blankly, like a dead fish.
The principal also said, “In more than thirty years of teaching, I’ve never heard such a vivid lesson. Just now, not only did you give the students a wonderful life lesson, you gave me one too.”

I stared blankly, like a dead fish.
The principal also said, “In a while the city is going to select an ‘Advanced Gardener Award.’ I’m definitely going to nominate you. Keep up the good work, young man!”

The principal said this and left, and I still stared blankly, like a dead fish, drifting along with the flow of people. Even an angler who hadn’t caught a single fish in three years
wouldn’t have any interest in a dead fish like me, already rotting.
The street was full of people coming and going, and my head hurt a little. Maybe I’m just not suited for thinking about problems that are too complicated. At a time like this, the best
thing to do is hurry up and forget it all and find something else to do.
　　As I was walking, a girl ran over and stared at me. I looked at her too. She seemed a little familiar, and I waited for her to speak.

　　“Today you look kind of handsome!” the girl said.

　　I was a little pleased. Being complimented is naturally a happy thing, but I couldn’t show that happiness, or it would make me seem vain. I pretended to be modest: “No way? How could that be?”

　　“Ah! Sorry, I got the wrong person.” The girl said that and ran off.

　　I was a little disappointed. So the reason I looked handsome today was because she got the wrong person… which means that if she hadn’t mistaken me, then
today I would still have looked very not handsome.

　　But then again, if today I look very not handsome, then yesterday I must have looked very handsome, and the day before too.

　　If that’s the case, then I’d rather not look handsome today. Because if a girl says to you, “Today you look very not handsome,” that must mean that ordinarily you’ve
“always been handsome.”

　　So what exactly was the girl saying—did I look “very handsome” today, or “very not handsome”?

　　To get to the bottom of this problem, I chased after her, grabbed her, and asked, “So today do I look very handsome, or very not handsome?”

　　The girl smiled at me and bumped my chest with her shoulder. I was a little baffled, but she said, “I forgot to wear my glasses today~”

　　So it turned out the girl had said I looked handsome today because she had forgotten to wear glasses, which means that today I looked blurrier. Honestly…

　　After getting to the bottom of it, I was just about to leave when the girl grabbed my hand and said, “Come on, let’s go have fun!”

　　“Go where? Have fun doing what?” I asked.

　　“Go wherever we go, do whatever we do~” At this moment I noticed the girl was standing very close to **, and was even holding my arm.

　　“Who are you?” I finally couldn’t help asking.

　　“Oh, get lost, this again!” The girl pouted, and then I recognized her—it was the little nurse, the little nurse without glasses.

　　The little nurse without glasses looked like a child, but in a very cute way.

　　“I’ve thought it through,” the little nurse said.

　　I didn’t say anything, so she asked me why I wasn’t asking what she had thought through. I said I knew she’d say it herself. She said I was really no fun.

　　Although I was “no fun,” she still told me the rest: “I can’t retreat. I have to defeat your pretty enemy.”

　　“Can you beat her?” I scratched my head and looked at her in confusion.

　　“What I mean isn’t fighting~~ Geez! Why are you always like this? Honestly!” The little nurse frowned and bumped my chest with her shoulder again.

　　If it wasn’t fighting then what was it? How am I always like what? Honestly what?

　　It seems the saying that women are hard to understand is exactly about this sort of thing. Luckily I was already used to it.

　　Now I didn’t need to say anything. I let her drag me around everywhere. Although some things had put me in a difficult position, in real life
I could still face it with an easy state of mind.

　　If I couldn’t find direction in life, then I could be like I was now—letting someone else’s hand pull me around in all directions. Wherever the endpoint was, there would always be a moment when it became clear.

　　□

　　“Hello, students!”

　　“Hello, teacher!!!”

　　“Students, you’ve worked hard!”

　　“Serve the people!!!”

　　Obviously, my mood today was much better than yesterday’s. Seeing how energetic I looked, the students were also in high spirits.

　　The class monitor brought up everyone’s homework in a neat stack. That was a bit of a headache—more than forty people, 800 words each, over 30,000 words…

　　Right, I could assign 10,000 words each to the little nurse and the pretty enemy. Thinking it over that way, I felt much more relaxed.

　　So I said, “What shall we do today?”

　　One student stood up to speak: “Let’s hold a press conference!”

　　“I’ll be the reporter, you be the leaders!”

　　“No, we’ll be the reporters, you be the leader!” the students said in unison. Looks like they had discussed it already.

　　“All right, all right, who told me there are more of you.” I had no choice but to compromise. “Please raise your hand before speaking.”

　　More than forty people raised more than fifty hands. It even looked like somebody had raised a foot too. This showed that I was a person full of issues,
and everybody had lots of questions to ask.

　　“Comrade in the white skirt in the third row, you go first!”

　　“May I ask, Comrade Chief, are you a virgin?”

　　**……

　　Today’s class was especially exhausting. Luckily tomorrow was some kind of international holiday or other, so there would be a day off. The students naturally knew I had worked hard today too,
so they decided to invite me on an outing tomorrow. In their words: to repay the teacher’s earnest and tireless instruction to us.

　　Because of the holiday, the school handed out bonuses early. As a “rising star” in the teaching staff, my bonus was said to be much more generous than other people’s.

　　The principal looked at me smilingly. I was afraid he’d come pat my shoulder again, so I grabbed the money and ran at once.

　　Now that I had money, the first step was paying back my debts. Who should I find first? Just as I was thinking about it, my pretty enemy arrived.

　　“Hehe, you just happened to pass by our school again?” I hurried to greet her.

　　My pretty enemy bit her lip, smiled, and gave me a punch. It didn’t hurt much.

　　She said, “Are you free this afternoon?”

　　My pretty enemy said she was going to take part in a martial arts competition that afternoon and asked if I wanted to go watch. That was something I definitely wouldn’t refuse. Watching the excitement is fun to begin with.

　　In the stands at the competition venue, I ran into a bunch of students from my class, so with a hint of showing off I pointed at my pretty enemy and said, “Look, that’s my pretty enemy.”

　　This caused quite a stir among the students. Once my pretty enemy put on her red silk training outfit, she looked like a different person, but she was still beautiful, and among all the contestants she was the most eye-catching one.

　　When she came onstage, she was holding a gleaming silver knife. I didn’t pay much attention to whatever flashy moves she was doing, because my eyes stayed fixed all the while on her little face reddened by her clothes.

　　Later a girl student tugged at my clothes and said, “Teacher likes the pretty enemy more, right?” I asked why she said that, and she said she could tell from my eyes. I asked if she had brought a mirror. She said no-----I wanted to see what my eyes looked like too…

　　Without a mirror, I had no way to verify whether my eyes really looked like I liked my pretty enemy more. But after being reminded by that girl student, I couldn’t help thinking of the little nurse.

　　Yesterday we had wandered to West Lake and sat on the grass by the lake watching the sunset. She had leaned in my arms and fallen asleep, sniffling softly. At the time I had stared at her face,
looked for a very, very long time, and it felt kind of the same as today.

　　So if that girl student had been at West Lake yesterday, she probably would have said, “Teacher likes the little nurse more, right?”

　　--------------------------

　　□

　　My pretty enemy was popular with the audience, and also with the judges. This competition brought her honor, so the bonus I had just received didn’t get spent after all. She still treated me to dinner,
saying it was to celebrate.

　　On the way to the restaurant, I noticed my students sneaking along behind us. Kids really are curious. Maybe they still hadn’t gotten enough of playing reporter in the morning. As a leader full of questions,
I naturally didn’t appreciate the style of paparazzi.

　　I waved at them viciously. My pretty enemy asked what I was doing, and I said I was shooing flies.

　　Actually I still loved my students very much. I never regarded them as flies. I only said that because I didn’t want my pretty enemy to think I was showing off,
even if that really was a little bit what I meant.

　　Judging from that state of mind, I’m not someone who conducts himself openly and honorably. At the very least, I still didn’t want the little nurse to know that I was currently together with my pretty enemy.

　　But the terrible thing still happened. When I turned my head to look at that bunch of students, I discovered that the little nurse was mixed in among them too…

　　If I hadn’t already seen what the little nurse looked like without glasses yesterday, I absolutely wouldn’t have recognized her.

　　Yesterday I told her she looked better without glasses, so she went and bought contact lenses. Calculating according to the worst possibility, she must have put them on,
which meant that she could clearly see that my pretty enemy and I were holding hands.

　　My heart kept pounding. My pretty enemy and I found a table and had just sat down when the little nurse came running over like the wind and sat beside me-----this table had four seats.

　　My pretty enemy froze for a moment, then gave a fake smile and said, “Hello~ What a coincidence.”

　　“Hmph!” The little nurse gave her a hard hmph but said nothing, and the scene became exceptionally awkward. At this point I understood. Yesterday when the little nurse had said, “I’m going to defeat her,” what she meant was apparently making hmph noises at my pretty enemy and making her very awkward…

　　Actually I was awkward too. Not only was I awkward, the waiter standing to one side was awkward too. He must have been wondering which one he should ask to order. Later, judging by the force of personality, he turned his gaze to the little nurse.

　　Puffing out her cheeks, the little nurse said to the waiter, “Two bottles of Rémy Martin XO!”

　　Judging from the waiter’s slightly exaggerated expression, those two bottles were definitely not as simple as beer…

　　I still didn’t dare open my mouth. Although my alcohol tolerance was terrible, expressing any opinion at this juncture would definitely have been ill-timed.

　　Later I thought it over. Better to daydream. So I started daydreaming. This daydreaming process lasted for more than an hour, and then I discovered the two girls had already drunk nearly all of both bottles.

　　Women either don’t touch alcohol at all, or else they can drink astonishing amounts. But after all, those were two bottles. At a time like this, no matter what, I had to take responsibility for sending both of them home.

　　But the problem arose right at this point. Neither drunken woman wanted to go home. Sigh. Actually, even if they had both wanted to go home, I still wouldn’t have known which one to send first. Whoever got sent later definitely wouldn’t have been happy.

　　Fine then, I’d send them to my place.

　　When I supported these two noisy girlfriends back to my shabby little rented room in the alley, suddenly I heard a clatter behind me. Turning around, I saw a crowd of students snickering as they scattered.

　　That had to be my students. Their snickering had to be mocking laughter. Yes, I really am unlucky as a teacher, getting stuck for no reason with two such burdens. Those students had no sympathy at all. Seeing me in such misery and still mocking me—what a cold world.

　　Pitifully, I helped the little nurse and my pretty enemy into the room. Just as I was wondering what to do next, I saw that the way the two women were looking at me seemed a little off.

　　Those looks were kind of… kind of like something…

　　Ah! Right, kind of like the look in the eyes of that wolf on TV in ‘Animal World’ the day before yesterday, just before it was about to eat a rabbit… my god, and there were two of them!!!

　　--------------------------

　　Final chapter

　　Some things happened that night. I can’t tell you. Don’t ask too many questions. In any case I’m just not telling you, because in the morning, my pretty enemy and the little nurse both fiercely said the same thing to me: “Don’t go around telling people about what happened last night!”

　　I promised twice, so I definitely can’t tell. But when I think of what happened last night, my face turns red. I’m very worried that my students are going to hold another press conference, because they’ll definitely ask what happened that night.

　　Although they’re my good friends, they’re still students after all. If I told them what happened that night, it would teach them bad things.

　　After that, my pretty enemy and the little nurse were often by my side. Though the two of them still argued from time to time, gradually it seemed they got used to it.

　　I didn’t have any objections to that. In any case, now I no longer had to worry about owing them money, because both of them said, “Between you and me, what’s there to stand on ceremony about,”
which is to say, both of them were now my girlfriends, and if I wanted to repay the money, that would just be being too formal.

This time I posted it all at once, so I won’t get scolded again.....

I’m totally dizzy.. too long...

How could I not be interested? I already read the first part, it’s just a bit too long. I’ll read the rest slowly later!