My joke collection:
The young poet Li Bai, relying on his poem “Quiet Night Thoughts,” won the special prize in the “Homesickness Cup” World Chinese Poetry Competition and also received a “Pentium-4-ish” computer. From then on, Li Bai’s fame soared in the world of Chinese poetry. But when it came to getting online, Li Bai could at most be called a “newbie.” The first time he stumbled into a chat room, he was dumbfounded by the screen names of the chatters, like “Goddess of Desire,” “Moonlight Fairy,” “Fragrance Cold, Pistil Chilled”... making him feel inferior.
Li Bai always stuck to the principle of not changing his name “above” or his surname “below.” The moment he showed his name, a net friend called “Diao Chan” threw him a flirtatious glance.
Diao Chan: Feels like you really worship that Li Bai, huh—————Li Bai: I am Li Bai. Diao Chan: Stop joking. You think you’re that poor poet who wrote “Quiet Night Thoughts”? What era is this now—who would still be willing to impersonate a poet? Li Bai: You’ve read “Quiet Night Thoughts”? Diao Chan: Of course. Anyone who hangs around online can recite it—————Before the bed, all bright and shiny, I suspect a beauty has descended; I raise my head and gaze at US dollars, lower my head and think of British pounds. Li Bai: This is plainly an insult to both my work and my character! If necessary, I will resort to the law to defend my copyright!! Diao Chan: Seeing how angry you are, could you really be Li Bai? To tell you the truth, I really am the genuine Diao Chan too. It’s just that I’ve been hanging around online so long that my way of speaking has become a bit unrestrained. I hope the poet will forgive me. Li Bai: Miss Diao Chan may be as beautiful as a heavenly fairy, but forgive my bluntness—does your body odor still smell strong now? Diao Chan: Hehehe, you’re so bad! I already had deodorizing surgery long ago, it’s just that Dong Zhuo and Lü Bu never had the good fortune to enjoy it. From now on, this humble girl is willing to stay here and accompany my lord in drinking and singing.
From then on, Li Bai and Diao Chan went online every day to compose poems, discuss writings, and pour out their feelings to each other. The two of them very much felt they had met too late. Finally one day, Li Bai truly could no longer suppress the pain of longing in his heart, so he made a request to Diao Chan: Before the bed, all empty and bare, my longing lives online; I raise my head to seek your lovely shadow, lower my head with tears in my eyes. Sister, let’s meet!
Diao Chan declined tactfully: This humble girl also has one wish. Only after receiving elder brother’s 999th love poem will I accept your 999 roses! Li Bai gladly agreed. In order to see the “dream lover” as soon as possible, he began neglecting sleep and food to compose love poems; and after finishing each one, he burned the draft without exception, to prove the sincerity in his heart. Several months later, a poet named “Diao Chan” suddenly emerged, whose love poems caused a huge sensation in the world of Chinese poetry, and five poetry collections were published in succession.
Not long after that, before the opening of the 2003 World Chinese Poetry Review, Li Bai was listed as a specially invited judge. Naturally, he also received the manuscript submitted by the poet “Diao Chan.” As Li Bai flipped through those familiar lines in the book, his eyes could not help but go wide—weren’t these the very lines he had written to his online lover “Diao Chan”? Then he looked at the frontispiece, and Diao Chan’s photo turned out to be an ugly-faced, balding middle-aged man...
The young poet Li Bai, relying on his poem “Quiet Night Thoughts,” won the special prize in the “Homesickness Cup” World Chinese Poetry Competition and also received a “Pentium-4-ish” computer. From then on, Li Bai’s fame soared in the world of Chinese poetry. But when it came to getting online, Li Bai could at most be called a “newbie.” The first time he stumbled into a chat room, he was dumbfounded by the screen names of the chatters, like “Goddess of Desire,” “Moonlight Fairy,” “Fragrance Cold, Pistil Chilled”... making him feel inferior.
Li Bai always stuck to the principle of not changing his name “above” or his surname “below.” The moment he showed his name, a net friend called “Diao Chan” threw him a flirtatious glance.
Diao Chan: Feels like you really worship that Li Bai, huh—————Li Bai: I am Li Bai. Diao Chan: Stop joking. You think you’re that poor poet who wrote “Quiet Night Thoughts”? What era is this now—who would still be willing to impersonate a poet? Li Bai: You’ve read “Quiet Night Thoughts”? Diao Chan: Of course. Anyone who hangs around online can recite it—————Before the bed, all bright and shiny, I suspect a beauty has descended; I raise my head and gaze at US dollars, lower my head and think of British pounds. Li Bai: This is plainly an insult to both my work and my character! If necessary, I will resort to the law to defend my copyright!! Diao Chan: Seeing how angry you are, could you really be Li Bai? To tell you the truth, I really am the genuine Diao Chan too. It’s just that I’ve been hanging around online so long that my way of speaking has become a bit unrestrained. I hope the poet will forgive me. Li Bai: Miss Diao Chan may be as beautiful as a heavenly fairy, but forgive my bluntness—does your body odor still smell strong now? Diao Chan: Hehehe, you’re so bad! I already had deodorizing surgery long ago, it’s just that Dong Zhuo and Lü Bu never had the good fortune to enjoy it. From now on, this humble girl is willing to stay here and accompany my lord in drinking and singing.
From then on, Li Bai and Diao Chan went online every day to compose poems, discuss writings, and pour out their feelings to each other. The two of them very much felt they had met too late. Finally one day, Li Bai truly could no longer suppress the pain of longing in his heart, so he made a request to Diao Chan: Before the bed, all empty and bare, my longing lives online; I raise my head to seek your lovely shadow, lower my head with tears in my eyes. Sister, let’s meet!
Diao Chan declined tactfully: This humble girl also has one wish. Only after receiving elder brother’s 999th love poem will I accept your 999 roses! Li Bai gladly agreed. In order to see the “dream lover” as soon as possible, he began neglecting sleep and food to compose love poems; and after finishing each one, he burned the draft without exception, to prove the sincerity in his heart. Several months later, a poet named “Diao Chan” suddenly emerged, whose love poems caused a huge sensation in the world of Chinese poetry, and five poetry collections were published in succession.
Not long after that, before the opening of the 2003 World Chinese Poetry Review, Li Bai was listed as a specially invited judge. Naturally, he also received the manuscript submitted by the poet “Diao Chan.” As Li Bai flipped through those familiar lines in the book, his eyes could not help but go wide—weren’t these the very lines he had written to his online lover “Diao Chan”? Then he looked at the frontispiece, and Diao Chan’s photo turned out to be an ugly-faced, balding middle-aged man...
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C++ ☆☆☆ 中国ＤＯＳ联盟成员 ☆☆☆ C++
C++ ★★★ 爱提问的红色狂想 ★★★ C++
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C++ ☆☆☆ 中国ＤＯＳ联盟成员 ☆☆☆ C++
C++ ★★★ 爱提问的红色狂想 ★★★ C++
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