Eight New Projects for Google's Move into China April 14th, 2006
Black News Agency report today: The famous international Internet giant GOOGLE has officially entered the Chinese market in recent days, and has officially named GOOGLE China as “Guge.” In order to provide first-hand information to our many readers concerned with the IT industry and to understand Guge's strategic deployment in China, our reporter risked his life to obtain this planning document, “Guge's Eight Projects for Entering China.” Since the news informants have successively met with accidents, the authenticity of this text cannot be guaranteed; readers are asked to judge for themselves.
1. Saving is Earning Project — Plan to build a thrifty Guge. In order to save expenses and provide excellent service to 120 million Chinese netizens, Google only plans to rent 1 server in China. GOOGLE president Mr. Eric Schmidt said that although GOOGLE's powerful search engine is capable of indexing more than 160 million web pages, Guge believes it is already enough to provide only a very small part of them to Chinese users. The remaining part will uniformly use this page: ERROR 404, the page you visited is unavailable. Therefore, Guge intends to share this server with Yahoo China.
2. Oracle Project — Oracle Bone Script Project. In order to comply with local legal requirements, GOOGLE began lawful character statistics targeted at Chinese users in 2005. After more than a year, 2,000 engineers carried out comprehensive testing on nearly all Chinese websites, and finally obtained a complete list of banned vocabulary for Guge to use as its filtering word list. According to the overall sorting and compilation by GOOGLE's linguistics experts, the conclusion is that this list almost completely covers all the characters in the Xinhua Dictionary. In order to let Google's engineers successfully complete all kinds of work, Google has decided to promote oracle bone script within the company, so as to meet the needs of internal communication and legal compliance. At present, the creation of GOOGLE's internal fonts is already nearing completion. It is said that MSN has shown strong interest in this plan, believing that it has extremely broad prospects in the field of IM communication encryption.
3. Clean and Cleaner Project — Cleanliness Competition Plan. Google plans to spend three years launching reports against Baidu, and will build a new search engine specifically targeting Baidu's search content, continuously recording prohibited content in Baidu's search results and reporting it to the relevant authorities. The goal is to imitate the competitor's methods from back when GOOGLE had not yet entered the Chinese market, and establish Google's absolute market dominance as China's number one clean search portal. At the same time, through the implementation of this plan, it will strike hard at competitors and seize market share. Mr. Eric Schmidt said Google will show its Chinese同行 what the corporate culture of “only cleaner, never cleanest” means, and expressed the determination that “if you can be cleaner, I'll delete everything.”
4. Google you Project — Guge Joint Defense Plan. In order to prevent cybercrime, Google is determined to cooperate with the Public Security Golden Shield Network by recording and reporting users' search records. When a user enters prohibited phrases such as violence or pornography into GOOGLE, GOOGLE will record this information and issue different levels of warning to the Golden Shield Network according to the degree of social harm, so as to create a good public security environment of coordinated prevention by police and citizens. Google provided an extraordinary example to illustrate the practical effect of this plan: when an engineer entered “amateur + bin Laden + explosion + one-night stand + ecstasy” into the GOOGLE search bar on a computer and pressed Enter, the computer automatically caught fire and burned within three seconds according to instructions fed back by GOOGLE, turning into a pile of silicon ash.
5. Link is a link Project — Friendly Link Redirection Plan. On the issue of serving the Chinese public, Google has once again walked at the forefront of the world. For search requests submitted by users that contain bad information, Google has created the most humane Friendly Link Redirection Plan. When Google receives such a request, it will automatically redirect the link and provide the user with link addresses fully compliant with Chinese law. Simple examples are as follows:
Searching for web pages containing murder and sexual perversion content — redirect to Sina social news.
Searching for web pages containing unrestricted, unrated film and television content — redirect to CCTV Channel 1 and Channel 6 program pages.
Searching for web pages containing adultery, one-night stands, and other illegal sexual behavior content — redirect to the local dating sections of major portal sites.
6. Random Exist Project — Dynamic Display Plan. Under this plan, web pages that comply with legal requirements will be managed dynamically. According to specific needs, some users may be able to find some content at all times, all users may be able to find all content at some times, some users may be able to find some content at some times, all users may be able to find some content at all times, some users may be able to find all content at all times, all users may be able to find some content at some times, and some users may be able to find all content at all times. However, Google does not guarantee that all users can find all content at all times.
7. NEWS Spam Project — Junk News Filtering Plan. Google believes that excessive news is junk news, and overflowing information is junk information. Therefore, it is necessary to provide valuable news services to the Chinese public. Through the junk news filtering plan, Google will filter out all international news content, because it has absolutely nothing to do with the public's lives. Google will also filter out most domestic news content, providing only conference reports, so as to meet the actual needs of the Chinese public for understanding major news events.
8. Our Logo Project — Guge Logo Plan. Mr. Eric Schmidt recently officially announced “Guge” as the official name of GOOGLE China, and required the engineering staff to design a GOOGLE LOGO with local characteristics as soon as possible. Eric Schmidt explained the rich connotations of “Guge” to the technical staff: on the one hand, gu means grain, so Guge means a rich harvest, symbolizing GOOGLE achieving even greater success. On the other hand, gu means valley, meaning endless echoes, showing GOOGLE's infinite capability. Mr. Schmidt even quoted the line “kan kan fa tan xi” from the Chinese Book of Songs, hinting to the engineers to imagine the sound of woodcutting echoing continuously in a mountain valley. In the end, the engineers submitted a LOGO design that left Mr. Schmidt extremely satisfied. The design fully embodied the rich connotations of Guge; its content was a sickle and an axe.
(Reported by Black News Agency. The above content is purely fictional; any resemblance to real facts is purely spoofing. The idea for the article came from Mr. Gossip's BLOG, with thanks as well!)
Black News Agency report today: The famous international Internet giant GOOGLE has officially entered the Chinese market in recent days, and has officially named GOOGLE China as “Guge.” In order to provide first-hand information to our many readers concerned with the IT industry and to understand Guge's strategic deployment in China, our reporter risked his life to obtain this planning document, “Guge's Eight Projects for Entering China.” Since the news informants have successively met with accidents, the authenticity of this text cannot be guaranteed; readers are asked to judge for themselves.
1. Saving is Earning Project — Plan to build a thrifty Guge. In order to save expenses and provide excellent service to 120 million Chinese netizens, Google only plans to rent 1 server in China. GOOGLE president Mr. Eric Schmidt said that although GOOGLE's powerful search engine is capable of indexing more than 160 million web pages, Guge believes it is already enough to provide only a very small part of them to Chinese users. The remaining part will uniformly use this page: ERROR 404, the page you visited is unavailable. Therefore, Guge intends to share this server with Yahoo China.
2. Oracle Project — Oracle Bone Script Project. In order to comply with local legal requirements, GOOGLE began lawful character statistics targeted at Chinese users in 2005. After more than a year, 2,000 engineers carried out comprehensive testing on nearly all Chinese websites, and finally obtained a complete list of banned vocabulary for Guge to use as its filtering word list. According to the overall sorting and compilation by GOOGLE's linguistics experts, the conclusion is that this list almost completely covers all the characters in the Xinhua Dictionary. In order to let Google's engineers successfully complete all kinds of work, Google has decided to promote oracle bone script within the company, so as to meet the needs of internal communication and legal compliance. At present, the creation of GOOGLE's internal fonts is already nearing completion. It is said that MSN has shown strong interest in this plan, believing that it has extremely broad prospects in the field of IM communication encryption.
3. Clean and Cleaner Project — Cleanliness Competition Plan. Google plans to spend three years launching reports against Baidu, and will build a new search engine specifically targeting Baidu's search content, continuously recording prohibited content in Baidu's search results and reporting it to the relevant authorities. The goal is to imitate the competitor's methods from back when GOOGLE had not yet entered the Chinese market, and establish Google's absolute market dominance as China's number one clean search portal. At the same time, through the implementation of this plan, it will strike hard at competitors and seize market share. Mr. Eric Schmidt said Google will show its Chinese同行 what the corporate culture of “only cleaner, never cleanest” means, and expressed the determination that “if you can be cleaner, I'll delete everything.”
4. Google you Project — Guge Joint Defense Plan. In order to prevent cybercrime, Google is determined to cooperate with the Public Security Golden Shield Network by recording and reporting users' search records. When a user enters prohibited phrases such as violence or pornography into GOOGLE, GOOGLE will record this information and issue different levels of warning to the Golden Shield Network according to the degree of social harm, so as to create a good public security environment of coordinated prevention by police and citizens. Google provided an extraordinary example to illustrate the practical effect of this plan: when an engineer entered “amateur + bin Laden + explosion + one-night stand + ecstasy” into the GOOGLE search bar on a computer and pressed Enter, the computer automatically caught fire and burned within three seconds according to instructions fed back by GOOGLE, turning into a pile of silicon ash.
5. Link is a link Project — Friendly Link Redirection Plan. On the issue of serving the Chinese public, Google has once again walked at the forefront of the world. For search requests submitted by users that contain bad information, Google has created the most humane Friendly Link Redirection Plan. When Google receives such a request, it will automatically redirect the link and provide the user with link addresses fully compliant with Chinese law. Simple examples are as follows:
Searching for web pages containing murder and sexual perversion content — redirect to Sina social news.
Searching for web pages containing unrestricted, unrated film and television content — redirect to CCTV Channel 1 and Channel 6 program pages.
Searching for web pages containing adultery, one-night stands, and other illegal sexual behavior content — redirect to the local dating sections of major portal sites.
6. Random Exist Project — Dynamic Display Plan. Under this plan, web pages that comply with legal requirements will be managed dynamically. According to specific needs, some users may be able to find some content at all times, all users may be able to find all content at some times, some users may be able to find some content at some times, all users may be able to find some content at all times, some users may be able to find all content at all times, all users may be able to find some content at some times, and some users may be able to find all content at all times. However, Google does not guarantee that all users can find all content at all times.
7. NEWS Spam Project — Junk News Filtering Plan. Google believes that excessive news is junk news, and overflowing information is junk information. Therefore, it is necessary to provide valuable news services to the Chinese public. Through the junk news filtering plan, Google will filter out all international news content, because it has absolutely nothing to do with the public's lives. Google will also filter out most domestic news content, providing only conference reports, so as to meet the actual needs of the Chinese public for understanding major news events.
8. Our Logo Project — Guge Logo Plan. Mr. Eric Schmidt recently officially announced “Guge” as the official name of GOOGLE China, and required the engineering staff to design a GOOGLE LOGO with local characteristics as soon as possible. Eric Schmidt explained the rich connotations of “Guge” to the technical staff: on the one hand, gu means grain, so Guge means a rich harvest, symbolizing GOOGLE achieving even greater success. On the other hand, gu means valley, meaning endless echoes, showing GOOGLE's infinite capability. Mr. Schmidt even quoted the line “kan kan fa tan xi” from the Chinese Book of Songs, hinting to the engineers to imagine the sound of woodcutting echoing continuously in a mountain valley. In the end, the engineers submitted a LOGO design that left Mr. Schmidt extremely satisfied. The design fully embodied the rich connotations of Guge; its content was a sickle and an axe.
(Reported by Black News Agency. The above content is purely fictional; any resemblance to real facts is purely spoofing. The idea for the article came from Mr. Gossip's BLOG, with thanks as well!)
