 『楼 主』:
服务小姐喜欢扯蛋蛋
使用 LLM 解释/回答一下
同事到外地出差，当地的同事热情好客，当晚便在一特色酒店的包间设宴接风。男男女女十几个人落座后便不停的聊天，只有一个人在点菜。点好了，征求大伙儿意见：“菜点好了，有没有要加的？”
这种情况，我们在北京一般是让小姐把点过的菜名儿报一遍。于是一位北京的哥们儿说：“小姐，报报。”
小姐看了他一眼，没动静。
“小姐，报一下！”哥们儿有点儿急了。
小姐脸涨得通红，还是没动静。
“怎么着？让你报一下没听见？”哥们儿真急了。
一位女同事赶紧打圆场：“小姐，你就赶紧挨个儿报一下吧，啊。？
小姐嗫嚅着问：“那，那……就抱女的，不抱男的行吗？”
“噗！”边上一位女同事刚喝的一大口茶全喷前边人身上了。十几个人笑做一团，小姐更是不知所措。
上菜了，先上一个拌拉皮儿。一大盘拉皮儿端上来，接着是几碟儿配料、酱汁儿什么的。小姐上菜的时候没留神，一滴酱汁儿洒在一位哥们儿的裤子上了。那哥们儿也是成心逗闷子，假装阴沉着脸问小姐：“怎么办呀？”
小姐很冷静地说：“怎么办都行。”
“那你说怎么办？”
“您想怎么办就怎么办？”
“那你们这儿一般是怎么办的？”
“要不俺帮您办？”
“好呀。”
只见小姐麻利的把几碟儿配料、酱汁儿一股脑倒在拉皮儿上，一手拿筷子，一手拿勺子，刷刷几下就拌好了。然后对那哥们儿说：“先生，拌好了，可以吃了。”
哥们儿努着眼珠子瞪着那盘子拉皮儿半天没说话，另一位同事替他跟小姐说了声“谢谢”。
上主菜了——烧羊腿，一大盘肉骨头，一碟子椒盐儿。一位北京哥们儿酷爱这口儿，毫不客气的抓起一羊腿，咔嚓就是一口，呱唧呱唧的大吃起来。小姐一见，说道：“先生，这个要蘸着吃。”
哥们儿将信将疑的看了看小姐，又看了看当地的同事。当地的同事说：“蘸着吃好吃一些。”
哥们儿于是拿着羊腿站起来，咔嚓又是一口。
小姐赶紧过来问：“先生，您有什么需要吗？”
“啊？没有啊。”
“那请您坐下来吃。”
哥们儿嘀咕着坐下来，看了看大伙儿，茫然若失。小心翼翼的把羊腿拿到嘴边，小心翼翼的咬了一口。
小姐又说：“先生，这个要蘸着吃。”
哥们儿腾地一下站起来，挥舞着羊腿怒气冲冲的嚷：“又要站着吃，又要坐着吃，到底怎么吃！？”
酒菜满席，领导跚跚而来。
满座起身相迎，一片寒喧之声。
旁边侍宴的小姐甚美，新来，经验不丰，颇有些紧张。
众人落座，有人招呼：“小姐，茶！”
小姐忙近前用手指点：“1、2、3、4、5、6、7，共七位！”
众人哂笑，领导补充曰：“倒茶！”
小姐忙又“倒查”了一遍：“7、6、5、4、3、2、1，还是七位。”
有人发问：“你数什么呢？”
小姐犹豫了一下小声答道：“我属狗。”
众人怒，急呼：“叫你们经理来！”，经理入，垂手讪笑，问：“诸位，传我何事？”
领导曰：“别多问，去查查这位小姐年龄属相。”
经理纳闷，依命而行，旋来回复：“18岁，属狗！”
领导大笑，众人大笑。领导海量不做追究，众人雅量不便追究。
小姐、经理如坠五里云雾。
酒过三旬，上来一道菜：“清炖王八！”
众人皆喜，然未忘规矩，有人以箸拨王八头曰：“领导动动，领导动动！”
领导看着被拨得乱颤的鳖头，心中不悦，既不愿谐了此言的尾音又不愿违了众人美意，于是乎持勺酌汤，曰：“好，好！大家请随意。”
又有人奉称曰：“对――王八就该喝汤！”领导气得几乎喷饭。
未几，汤将尽，有物圆圆浮出，问：“小姐，这是什么？”
小姐忙答：“是王八蛋。”众人又惊喜：“领导先吃，领导先吃！”
这此领导没听到“晦气”之言，甚悦，唤小姐：“给大家分分！”
良久，小姐不动，领导怒问：“怎么，这也分不清楚吗？”
小姐为难的说：“七个人，六个王八蛋，您叫我怎么分啊？”
众人听罢，个个伸脖瞪眼，满口美食，难以下咽。`如果您笑了。帮忙顶一下。让别人也笑下
A colleague went on a business trip to another place. The local colleagues were warm and hospitable. That night, they set a banquet in a private room of a characteristic hotel to welcome him. More than a dozen men and women sat down and kept chatting, and only one person was ordering dishes. After ordering, he asked for everyone's opinion: "The dishes are ordered. Is there anything to add?"
In Beijing, we usually let the waitress repeat the ordered dishes. So a Beijing guy said: "Waitress, repeat them."
The waitress looked at him and didn't move.
"Waitress, repeat them!" The guy was a bit anxious.
The waitress' face turned red, but still didn't move.
"How come? Didn't you hear me ask you to repeat?" The guy was really anxious.
A female colleague quickly made an excuse: "Waitress, you just quickly repeat them one by one, okay?"
The waitress stammered and asked: "Then, then... can I only repeat the female ones, not the male ones?"
"Puff!" A female colleague next to her just spat out a big mouthful of tea on the person in front. More than a dozen people laughed together, and the waitress was even at a loss.
The dishes were served. The first dish was mixed shredded jelly. A large plate of shredded jelly was served, followed by several plates of seasonings, sauces, etc. The waitress didn't pay attention when serving the dishes, and a drop of sauce was spilled on a guy's pants. That guy also deliberately made fun, pretending to be gloomy and asked the waitress: "What should we do?"
The waitress said calmly: "It's okay to do whatever."
"Then what do you say we should do?"
"You can do whatever you want?"
"Then what do you usually do here?"
"Or should I help you do it?"
"Okay."
Then the waitress quickly poured all the plates of seasonings and sauces onto the shredded jelly, took chopsticks in one hand and a spoon in the other, and mixed it up in a few strokes. Then she said to the guy: "Sir, it's mixed well, you can eat it."
The guy stared at the plate of shredded jelly with his eyes wide open for a long time without speaking. Another colleague said "Thank you" to the waitress for him.
The main course was served - braised lamb legs, a large plate of meat bones, and a plate of salt and pepper. A Beijing guy loved this, and without hesitation, he grabbed a lamb leg, took a big bite with a crunch, and ate it noisily. The waitress saw it and said: "Sir, this should be eaten with dipping."
The guy looked at the waitress doubtfully, then at the local colleagues. The local colleagues said: "It's better to eat with dipping."
The guy then stood up with the lamb leg and took another big bite with a crunch.
The waitress quickly came over and asked: "Sir, do you need anything?"
"Ah? No."
"Then please sit down and eat."
The guy muttered and sat down, looked at everyone, and was at a loss. He carefully took the lamb leg to his mouth and carefully took a bite.
The waitress said again: "Sir, this should be eaten with dipping."
The guy stood up suddenly, waving the lamb leg and angrily shouted: "You want me to eat standing up and sitting down again, how exactly should I eat it!?"
The table was full of food and drink, and the leader came slowly.
Everyone stood up to greet him, and there was a lot of small talk.
The waitress next to the table was very beautiful, new here, not experienced, quite nervous.
Everyone sat down, and someone called: "Waitress, tea!"
The waitress hurried forward and pointed with her fingers: "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, a total of seven people!"
Everyone sneered, and the leader added: "Pour tea!"
The waitress quickly "reversed the count" again: "7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, still seven people."
Someone asked: "What are you counting?"
The waitress hesitated and whispered back: "I was born in the year of the dog."
Everyone was angry, and urgently called: "Call your manager here!" The manager came in, stood with his hands down and smiled awkwardly, and asked: "Ladies and gentlemen, what's the matter with calling me?"
The leader said: "Don't ask too much, go check this waitress' age and zodiac sign."
The manager was puzzled, did as ordered, and soon came back to reply: "18 years old, born in the year of the dog!"
The leader laughed, and everyone laughed. The leader had a large capacity and didn't pursue it, and everyone had a magnanimous attitude and didn't pursue it.
The waitress and the manager were at a loss.
After three rounds of drinking, a dish was served: "Stewed turtle!"
Everyone was happy, but didn't forget the rule. Someone used chopsticks to poke the turtle's head and said: "Leader move it, leader move it!"
The leader looked at the turtle's head shaking violently, and was unhappy. He didn't want to end the sound of this sentence in a funny way and didn't want to go against everyone's kindness, so he held the spoon and poured the soup and said: "Okay, okay! Everyone please help yourself."
Someone also praised: "Yes――turtles should drink soup!" The leader was almost choked by his own food.
Before long, the soup was almost gone, and something round floated up. Someone asked: "Waitress, what is this?"
The waitress quickly answered: "It's turtle eggs." Everyone was surprised again: "Leader eat first, leader eat first!"
This time the leader didn't hear the "unlucky" words and was very happy, called the waitress: "Divide this for everyone!"
After a long time, the waitress didn't move. The leader angrily asked: "What, can't you even tell this apart?"
The waitress said为难: "Seven people, six turtle eggs, how can I divide it for everyone?"
After hearing this, everyone stretched their necks and stared, with delicious food in their mouths, but couldn't swallow.
If you laughed. Help give it a thumbs up. Let others also laugh
此帖被 +10 点积分 点击查看详情 | 评分人：【 Macadd 】 | 分数： +4 | 时间：2006-12-18 09:14 | | 评分人：【 9527 】 | 分数： +6 | 时间：2006-12-19 22:46 |
|
|
