『楼 主』:
[转帖]发一些成人笑话,笑掉大牙不负责
使用 LLM 解释/回答一下
1、某男看到一则广告:不开刀、不住院、让你的生殖器轻轻松松变大变粗!顿大喜,立即汇款。数日,收到邮包,急切地打开一看!!原来是一放大镜!
2、牧师问一对夫妇:如果五分钟后就到世界末日,你们想做什么事?丈夫兴致勃勃地回答:想做爱。太太白他一眼幽幽地说:那剩下的四分钟干什么?
3、俩屎壳螂讨论福利彩票,甲说:我要中了大奖就把方圆50里的厕所都买下来,每天吃个够!乙说:你丫太俗了!我要是中了大奖就包一活人,每天吃新鲜的!
4、洞房花烛夜的早晨,新郎一觉醒来,发现新娘泪流满面。惊讶问:心肝,为啥哭?新娘哭到:以后的日子怎么过?你那玩意儿用了一夜已经缩小到不成样子了!以后咋办呢!
5、一老头乘公交去高潮村办事。途中问女服务员:高潮到了没?女服务员:还没呢。一会儿他又问:高潮到了没?服务员说:糟老头急什么,高潮到了我会叫的!
6、老婆打麻将至凌晨回家,为了不扰醒丈夫,她先在客厅里脱光了衣服再进卧室。恰遇丈夫醒来,见了大怒到:太过份了!你竟输的精光?
7、一小姐吃饭时点了道爆炒鞭花,夹菜时不慎掉到两腿之间,小姐大惊:这玩意真厉害!煮熟了剁碎了,它竟还认识路!
8、一男青年在公交车上看到一美女的衣领开得很低,春光外泄,戏言道‘真是桃花盛开的地方啊’,美女听后,撩起裙子说:‘还有生你养你的地方’!
9、一对男女正在做爱,女的忽然跳下床,跑进厨房从米缸里抓了一把米,回来撒到男的身上,气哼哼地说:少在这里丢人现眼,回去去把小鸡喂大再来吧!
10、村妇报案说:丢人那!俺昨晚被强*了.警察问他那人长啥样?那俺可没看清楚,不过肯定是个新手,因为他半天找不着地方,最后还是俺给他扶进去的.
11、狐狸爱上了兔子,约?去喝啤酒,兔子醉了,狐狸趁机把兔子给强*了,过了几天狐狸又叫兔子去喝酒,兔子说:‘哎!不去了!不去了!,喝完啤酒屁股疼’
12、少女夜半归家,遭七暴徒,危险时一大妈挺身而出,救走少女自遭轮*,电台采访,大妈言:其实当时啥也没想,只想这点好事可不能全便宜了那小骚娘们儿!
13.某村妇首次进城,欲上茅厕,良久未遇,无奈求助警察:同志,前面有个公厕,请问母厕在哪?
14,男青年抚摸着女友穿着迷你裙的大腿:亲爱的,我爱你!女友被爱抚得神魂颠倒:再,再高一点儿!男青年提高嗓门:亲爱的,我爱你!
15、监狱长问话,犯人说:床前明月光,没钱憋的慌,举头望银行,低头进班房。监狱长:出世几十年,兜里没有钱,抢个小银行,关了好几年.
16、一小孩在河边发现一女尸,于是报警说:河边一女人被打死,胸前两个大包,两腿间被砍了一刀出血很多,估计死亡时间过长,被砍处已经开始长毛了!
不打算回帖的闭嘴,不许笑啊!
我看到一个奇怪的现象,就是看我贴子的一部分人,都在不久后做成了如下事情:
1、恋爱成功了;
2、生意谈成了;
3、升官发财了;
4、心情舒畅了;
5、家庭和睦了;
6、身体健康了;
7、万事顺意了。
这部分人就是先顶再看,看了还顶的兄弟姐妹们。
毛主席教导我们:“看到好贴一定要顶!”
毛主席的话,是很有道理的。
回个贴就那么难吗?
1、A man saw an advertisement: No surgery, no hospitalization, make your genitals easily bigger and thicker! He was overjoyed and immediately remitted the money. After a few days, he received a parcel and eagerly opened it! It turned out to be a magnifying glass!
2、The priest asked a couple: If the end of the world will come in five minutes, what do you want to do? The husband replied enthusiastically: Want to have sex. The wife gave him a white look and said quietly: Then what to do with the remaining four minutes?
3、Two dung beetles were discussing the welfare lottery. A said: If I win the grand prize, I will buy all the toilets within a radius of 50 miles, and eat to my heart's content every day! B said: You are too vulgar! If I win the grand prize, I will hire a living person and eat fresh every day!
4、On the morning of the wedding night, the groom woke up and found the bride in tears. He was surprised and asked: Darling, why are you crying? The bride cried: How will the days be in the future? Your thing has shrunk to an unrecognizable appearance after using it all night! What to do in the future!
5、An old man took a bus to Gaochao Village on business. On the way, he asked the female attendant: Has Gaochao arrived? The female attendant: Not yet. After a while, he asked again: Has Gaochao arrived? The attendant said: Old pervert, why are you in a hurry? I will shout when Gaochao arrives!
6、The wife came home at dawn after playing mahjong. In order not to wake up her husband, she first took off her clothes in the living room and then entered the bedroom. She happened to meet her husband waking up, and he was furious when he saw it: It's too much! You actually lost everything?
7、A lady ordered a stir-fried whip flower when eating. When picking up the dish, it accidentally fell between her legs. The lady was shocked: This thing is really powerful! After cooking and chopping, it still knows the way!
8、A young man saw that the neckline of a beautiful woman on the bus was very low, and the spring was exposed. He teased: It's really a place where peach blossoms are in full bloom. After hearing this, the beauty lifted her skirt and said: There is also the place where you were born and raised!
9、A man and a woman were having sex. The woman suddenly jumped out of bed, ran into the kitchen, grabbed a handful of rice from the rice tank, came back and sprinkled it on the man's body, and said angrily: Stop making a fool of yourself here, go back and feed the little chicken big first!
10、A country woman reported a case and said: It's embarrassing! I was raped last night. The police asked her what the man looked like? Well, I didn't see it clearly, but it must be a novice, because he couldn't find the place for a long time, and finally I helped him get in.
11、The fox fell in love with the rabbit and invited it to drink beer. The rabbit got drunk, and the fox took the opportunity to rape it. A few days later, the fox called the rabbit to drink again. The rabbit said: "Hey! I won't go! I won't go! My butt hurts after drinking beer"
12、A girl returned home at midnight and was attacked by seven thugs. When in danger, an old woman stood up to save the girl and was gang-raped herself. When interviewed by the radio, the old woman said: Actually, I didn't think anything at that time, I just thought this good thing couldn't all be cheap for that little slut!
13. A country woman went to the city for the first time and wanted to go to the toilet. After a long time, she didn't meet one. She had no choice but to ask the police for help: Comrade, there is a public toilet in front. May I ask where the women's toilet is?
14, The young man stroked his girlfriend's thigh in a miniskirt: Darling, I love you! The girlfriend was so fascinated by the caress: Higher, higher! The young man raised his voice: Darling, I love you!
15、The warden asked the prisoner, and the prisoner said: Bed front bright moonlight, no money is anxious, look up at the bank, look down into the cell. The warden: Born for decades, no money in the pocket, robbed a small bank, been in prison for several years.
16、A child found a female corpse by the river and then called the police and said: A woman by the river was beaten to death, there are two big bags on the chest, a knife was cut between the legs and a lot of blood came out, it is estimated that the death time is too long, and hair has started to grow at the cut place!
Don't reply if you don't plan to, don't laugh!
I saw a strange phenomenon, that is, some people who read my post did the following things soon after:
1、Successfully fell in love;
2、Negotiated a business;
3、Got promoted and became rich;
4、Felt comfortable;
5、Harmonious family;
6、Good health;
7、All the best.
These people are the brothers and sisters who first like and then read, and read and then like.
Chairman Mao taught us: "Must like a good post when you see it!"
Chairman Mao's words are very reasonable.
Is it so difficult to reply?
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