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namejm
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200x年美军突袭北京失败原因总结(ZT)
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200x年美军突袭北京失败原因总结
美军参谋长联席会议主席在美国国会所作的总结:
这次失败不仅是战略上的失败,更是战术上的失败。
一.我军大意地使用了北京市旅游局的北京旅游图和北京公交公司的北京交通图以及北京地质勘探中心的北京地形图。我们错误的以为中国人给自己用的东西虽然算不上好,但决不会欺骗自己人,然而我们错了。拿到这几张地图的第一天就注定了我们将要在一个错误的时间一个错误的地点和一个错误的国家打一场错误的战争。
1.原本要降落在清华大学的101空降师506团3营被错误的空降到颐和园昆明湖中,会水的投降,不会水的淹死,533人无一逃脱。
2.第十山地师在攻占云冈地区后,按原计划执行破坏中国航空集团第三研究院的命令,一团一营在云冈镇搜索了将近一天也未找到中航集团三院的确切位置,不得以增加部署整个一团加入搜索,使得部队未能完成作战预案。主力部队在度过永定河时,由于空降部队未能按时将舟桥部队运抵,不得以在渡河地点停留了7小时,在舟桥部队到达后才发现所谓的永定河根本没有水。而一团到撤退时才知道他们在航天三院的大院里整整转了四天!
3.陆战三师的重型装甲集群在突破中国守军二十六军阵地后从八达岭高速突入北京市郊,在五环路和八达岭高速交界处遇到在美国前所未见的大堵车,在长达15小时的时间内未能前进一步,被中国人的增援部队击溃。
4.降落在大屯的101师502团伞兵选择小区规划图上绿地、会所、游泳池、湖泊降落。结果当他们落地后发现:他们都落在楼顶上,因为开发商擅自更改规划,把原先承诺的绿地会所游泳池湖泊都起了楼以图多卖点钱。更悲惨的是这些该死的小区规划让倒霉的伞兵伞降着陆时死伤无数。幸存伞兵在楼顶与民兵隔着天窗枪战一宿,大部战死。
5.唯一在四环内空降的101师501团降落在了朝阳公园,那是四环内唯一一片有空地的地方。空降后发现该地区地势崎岖完全称不上空地,空降的重装备无法运出公园,只得放弃原作战计划,固守公园等待救援。他们是本次战役中第一支被成建制俘虏的部队。
6.打巷战时,我们使用的房地产商作为广告宣传的户型图严重失真,所有户型内部空间狭小到了令人恐惧的地步,重型武器均无法运入战前选为要塞的房间;且房屋强度严重不足,无法作为战斗用掩体。
7.特别值得一提的是海豹突击队突袭安贞大厦时,特种部队的小伙子们沿消防通道突击,不想消防通道被物业公司封堵或改做他用,拧坏多把钳子后不得不宣告任务失败撤离。
8.战地指挥官过度依赖中国官方的公路交通图,导致兵力部署失控,是不可推卸的责任。比如第四重装师从天津一路攻向北京,计划沿京通路,建国路走长安街;然而路上无数缺失的井盖让我军车辆寸步难行,甚至有连绵不断的井盖群将轮式步兵战斗车和坦克卡住不能动弹的现象出现, 仅存的坦克部队沿著名的京通快速路狂奔,到达四汇时已被颠散了架,被早已守候多时的收废旧家具的乘坐板车(一种近乎原始的中国农民用的运输工具)的疑似民兵的人群(经战后确认,虽然他们在当时表现出了惊人的战斗力,但他们并非民兵,只是收破烂的农民)一拥而上全部收去废旧站。
9.负责突袭北京首都国际机场的八十二空降师在占领机场后沿机场高速公路进入市区,在通过四元桥时由于桥梁质量低劣,重型装备的驾驶员不敢通过,只得放弃车辆轻装前进。在三元桥面对让人晕头转向的36个红灯和数小时的堵车,被太阳晒得中了暑的士兵们纷纷四散找水喝,大批军人因口渴难耐不得不饮用北京被严重污染的地下水而口吐白沫四肢痉挛不能控制自己的拿起枪来乱射,并高喊:我的上帝,是哪个五角大楼的王八蛋要求进攻这里的?老子要宰了他!!!这里能住人吗?我们千里迢迢的打来这里,真是自寻死路啊!!!
10.我军机械化部队进城简直是一场灾难,一路上有大大小小十几个收费站要交钱,而且按吨位交钱,同样是过车辆,该死的中国军队至少比我们少交一半的钱!!!而且,连查养路费的也到处设岗,进了城又被交警罚款,且收费人员素质低下,分不清美元和人民币,不论什么钱都要同样的数字!令我军视进城为畏途(早知道应该带日本人来)。
### Summary of Reasons for the Failure of the U.S. Military Raid on Beijing in the Year 200x
The Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff of the U.S. Military made a summary before the U.S. Congress:
This failure is not only a strategic failure but also a tactical failure.
1. Our army carelessly used the Beijing Tourist Map from the Beijing Municipal Tourism Bureau, the Beijing Traffic Map from the Beijing Public Transport Company, and the Beijing Topographic Map from the Beijing Geological Exploration Center. We mistakenly thought that the things used by the Chinese for themselves, although not very good, would never deceive their own people. However, we were wrong. The very first day we got these few maps doomed that we were going to fight a wrong war at a wrong time, in a wrong place, and in a wrong country.
1. The 3rd Battalion, 506th Regiment, 101st Airborne Division, which was originally supposed to land at Tsinghua University, was mistakenly airdropped into Kunming Lake in the Summer Palace. Those who could swim surrendered, and those who couldn't drown. None of the 533 people escaped.
2. After the 10th Mountain Division captured the Yungang area, it carried out the order to destroy the Third Research Institute of China Aviation Group as per the original plan. The 1st Battalion of the 1st Regiment searched the Yungang Town for nearly a day and failed to find the exact location of the Third Research Institute of China Aviation Group. As a result, the entire 1st Regiment had to be added to the search, causing the unit to fail to complete the combat plan. When the main force crossed the Yongding River, since the airborne unit failed to deliver the pontoon bridge unit on time, it had to stay at the crossing place for 7 hours. After the pontoon bridge unit arrived, it was discovered that the so-called Yongding River had no water at all. And the 1st Regiment didn't know until the retreat that they had been circling in the compound of the Aerospace Third Institute for four whole days!
3. The heavy armor group of the 3rd Marine Division broke through the position of the 26th Army of the Chinese defense forces and entered the outskirts of Beijing from the Badaling Expressway. It encountered an unprecedented traffic jam at the junction of the 5th Ring Road and the Badaling Expressway. It failed to move forward for 15 consecutive hours and was defeated by the Chinese reinforcement forces.
4. The paratroopers of the 502nd Regiment, 101st Division, who landed in Datun chose to land on the green spaces, clubs, swimming pools, and lakes on the community planning map. As a result, when they landed, they found that they all landed on the rooftops because the developer arbitrarily changed the plan, building buildings where the originally promised green spaces, clubs, swimming pools, and lakes were supposed to be in order to sell more units. What was even more tragic was that these damn community plans caused countless casualties among the unfortunate paratroopers when they parachuted and landed. The surviving paratroopers fought with the militia through the skylights on the rooftops all night, and most of them were killed in action.
5. The 501st Regiment, 101st Division, which was the only one airdropped within the 4th Ring Road, landed in Chaoyang Park. It was the only open area within the 4th Ring Road. After landing, it was discovered that the terrain in this area was rugged and definitely not an open area. The heavy equipment airdropped could not be transported out of the park, so it had to abandon the original combat plan and hold out in the park waiting for rescue. They were the first unit to be captured as a complete formation in this battle.
6. When fighting巷战 (urban combat), the apartment floor plans used for advertising by real estate developers by our army were seriously distorted. All the internal spaces of the apartments were so narrow that it was terrifying, and heavy weapons could not be transported into the rooms selected as fortresses before the battle; and the strength of the buildings was seriously insufficient to be used as combat fortifications.
7. It is particularly worth mentioning that when the SEAL Team raided Anzhen Building, the special forces young men rushed along the fire escape, but the fire escape was blocked or converted for other uses by the property management company. After breaking several pliers, they had to declare the mission failed and withdraw.
8. The battlefield commander over-relied on the official Chinese road maps, which led to the loss of control of troop deployment, and he was irreversibly responsible. For example, the 4th Heavy Division advanced from Tianjin towards Beijing, planning to take the Jingtong Road and Jianguo Road to go along Chang'an Avenue; however, countless missing manhole covers on the road made it difficult for our army's vehicles to move forward. There were even phenomena where continuous manhole cover groups got the wheeled infantry fighting vehicles and tanks stuck. The remaining tank unit ran wildly along the famous Jingtong Expressway. When it reached Sihui, it had been shaken apart. It was rushed by a group of people who seemed to be militia riding cart boards (a nearly primitive transportation tool used by Chinese farmers). (It was confirmed after the battle that although they showed amazing combat effectiveness at that time, they were not militia but waste collectors.) They were all taken to the waste recycling station.
9. The 82nd Airborne Division responsible for raiding Beijing Capital International Airport entered the urban area along the Airport Expressway after occupying the airport. When passing through Siyuan Bridge, due to the poor quality of the bridge, the drivers of the heavy equipment did not dare to pass, so they had to abandon the vehicles and move forward lightly. Facing 36 confusing red lights and several hours of traffic jam at Sanyuan Bridge, the soldiers who were sunburned and got heatstroke scattered to find water to drink. A large number of soldiers, unable to endure the thirst, had to drink the seriously polluted underground water in Beijing, and they foamed at the mouth and had limb convulsions, unable to control themselves to pick up the guns and shoot randomly, and shouted: "Oh my God, which son of a bitch from the Pentagon ordered the attack here? I'm going to kill him! Can people live here? We traveled all the way here to fight, it's really asking for trouble!!!"
10. The entry of our mechanized units into the city was simply a disaster. There were more than a dozen toll stations of all sizes along the way that required payment, and the payment was based on tonnage. Similarly, for passing vehicles, the damn Chinese army paid at least half less money than us!!! Moreover, there were checkpoints everywhere to check the road maintenance fees. After entering the city, they were fined by the traffic police, and the toll collection personnel had low quality, unable to distinguish between U.S. dollars and RMB, and they demanded the same amount of money regardless of what currency it was! This made our army regard entering the city as a dreaded thing (it should have brought the Japanese here earlier).
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尺有所短,寸有所长,学好CMD没商量。
考虑问题复杂化,解决问题简洁化。 |
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2006-9-10 06:38 |
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Macadd
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『第 2 楼』:
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2006-9-11 02:16 |
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zhoushijie
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2006-9-14 00:59 |
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vkill
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2006-9-14 04:39 |
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vct852
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2006-9-15 05:33 |
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tbs198400
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2006-9-18 00:56 |
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pclan
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『第 7 楼』:
使用 LLM 解释/回答一下
同意!!!!!批准向全国村级以上单位传达学习。。。。。
Agreed!!!!! Approved to convey and study to units above the village level nationwide......
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2006-9-28 09:04 |
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541zxn
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2006-10-21 07:30 |
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pengfei
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『第 9 楼』:
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呵呵~ 有意思. 用另外一种方式讽刺了中国在发展中出现的问题.
二十几年的改革开放改变了中国也同时改变了世界格局.
Hehe~ Interesting. It satirizes the problems in China's development in another way.
Twenty years of reform and opening up have changed China and also changed the world pattern.
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2006-10-22 09:44 |
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308628652
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2006-10-22 09:58 |
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DOSforever
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『第 11 楼』:
再补充一个:《恐怖分子在广州的不幸遭遇》
使用 LLM 解释/回答一下
恐怖分子在伦敦埃及之后,也许会想伤害广州!
某日,广州和往常一样经历拥挤的早晨,
恐怖分子按计划在广州实施多次连环爆炸.....
经路人指点第一个恐怖子来到了广州新商业中心的天河北,我靠,发现这个地方简直tmd的太适合搞恐怖袭击了到处是高楼,居然还有一栋高耸如云的摩天大楼正当这位GG表情紧张地穿过马路走向中信时候,但是他的紧张表情和黑色的包引起了某些长期守侯在马路两边的人民的注意,当他距离中信还有那么10米距离的时候,我们可爱的恐怖GG似乎已经看到真主阿拉已经在向他召唤了,突然,耳边传来马达轰鸣,一阵转速高达10000转摩托发动机声音从背后响起,又旋即从前面掠过仓皇间只有两个头盔给恐怖GG留下深刻影响,广州人们驾车安全意识就是tnnd强!然而,迅速发现包被抢了!!!
2天之后新闻报道在芳村某出租屋发生一次爆炸,炸伤多名,疑为违章使用液化气所致......
第二名恐怖分子试图寻找一个人群密集的地方,凭借其敏锐的职业嗅觉,他很快来到了传说中的流花火车站。我靠,这个地方简直tmd的太适合搞恐怖袭击了,到处都是人来人往,高度密集,高度拥挤。虽然真的很难挤,但是作为神的战士,他依然在见缝插针地挤了进去,胜利即将到来,真主即将召唤。突然间,四名彪形大汉围住他,一记闷棍打在头上。醒来以后,包包已经不见,身上只剩袜子,远处几辆警车在巡逻……
第二天,东圃传来一次巨大爆炸声,几人死伤,警方初步怀疑电路短路造成爆炸
第三名恐怖分子准备实施袭击广州交通枢纽,目标初步定在区庄立交。在堵了2小时车之后,他终于上来到目标立交,但是发现找不到地方下去,好不容易转下去,又不知道从哪儿上去,这样不好,不利于自己撤退。最后该名GG决定步行上立交。和第一名gg一样,他的紧张表情和黑色的包引起了某些长期守侯在马路两边的人民的注意,当他走上区庄立交时候,发现包包被偷了。远处几个卷头发、高鼻子的人在盯着他……
当天夜,石牌村发生一起爆炸,几名新疆人死伤。警方消息:××地下鞭炮厂安全事故……
第四名恐怖分子准备袭击某大型居民区,选来选去,觉得还是富力这个发展商比较NB,就是它了。背上包包,来到某FL楼盘我靠,这个地方简直tmd的太适合搞恐怖袭击了。楼房高耸如云,密不透风,高度密集,高度拥挤。想到这里,恐怖GG嘴角露出了久违的微笑。突然,不知哪里,窜出几个手拿警棍保安,劈头盖脸一顿乱打:“叫你丫维权,叫你丫上访……”作为物证,包包被没收。
几日,富力总部一声巨响,炸伤多名,富力称修建人防工事原因……
第五名恐怖分子准备袭击公共交通工具,在拥挤的体育中心汽车站苦苦等待了几十分钟后,好不容易等来一部bus。然而,并不太拥挤的汽车,却怎么也挤不上去。有人一直在车门那里,似乎在掏钱,又似乎在问路……不得已,恐怖GG讨出2元钱帮忙那人付了车费,结果,那人却下车而去,莫名其妙上了车,即将成功的恐怖分子准备在口袋按动遥控器,却发现口袋已经被划破一个大口子,里面的一切一切都已经不见,再回过身,包包已经失踪……
多日后,花都传来巨响。幸无人员伤亡,据称乃伪劣手机电池充电不当引起爆炸.......
报纸最后报道:警民联手,反恐见效
Terrorists after London and Egypt may want to harm Guangzhou!
One day, Guangzhou, as usual, experienced a crowded morning.
Terrorists carried out multiple consecutive explosions in Guangzhou as planned.....
After being pointed out by passers-by, the first terrorist came to Tianhe North, the new business center of Guangzhou. Oh my god, this place is simply too suitable for terrorist attacks. There are tall buildings everywhere, and there is even a skyscraper towering into the clouds. Just as this guy was nervously crossing the road towards Citic, but his nervous expression and black bag attracted the attention of some people who had been waiting by the roadside for a long time. When he was still about 10 meters away from Citic, our lovely terrorist guy seemed to have already seen Allah calling him. Suddenly, there was the roar of a motorcycle engine from behind, reaching a speed of 10,000 rpm, and then it swept past in front. In a hurry, only two helmets left a deep impression on the terrorist guy. Guangzhou people's driving safety awareness is really extremely strong! However, quickly he found that his bag was stolen!!!
Two days later, the news reported that an explosion occurred in a rental house in Fangcun, injuring several people, suspected to be caused by illegal use of liquefied gas......
The second terrorist tried to find a place with a dense crowd. Relying on his keen professional sense, he quickly came to the legendary Liuhua Railway Station. Oh my god, this place is simply too suitable for terrorist attacks. There are people coming and going everywhere, highly dense and crowded. Although it was really hard to squeeze, but as a warrior of God, he still squeezed in between the gaps. Victory was about to come, and Allah was about to call. Suddenly, four burly men surrounded him, and a dull stick hit his head. When he woke up, the bag was gone, and only socks were left on his body. A few police cars were patrolling in the distance……
The next day, a huge explosion occurred in Dongpu, several people were killed and injured, and the police initially suspected that the explosion was caused by a short circuit in the circuit.
The third terrorist was preparing to attack Guangzhou's transportation hub, and the target was initially set at Quzhuang Overpass. After being stuck in traffic for 2 hours, he finally arrived at the target overpass, but found that he couldn't find a place to get down. After finally turning down, he didn't know where to get up again. This was not good for his retreat. Finally, this guy decided to walk up to the overpass. Just like the first guy, his nervous expression and black bag attracted the attention of some people who had been waiting by the roadside for a long time. When he walked up to Quzhuang Overpass, he found that his bag was stolen. A few people with curly hair and high noses were staring at him in the distance……
That night, an explosion occurred in Shipai Village, several people from Xinjiang were killed and injured. Police news: ×× underground firecracker factory safety accident……
The fourth terrorist was preparing to attack a large residential area. After choosing and choosing, he thought that富力 (Fuli) developer was relatively NB, so it was him. He put on the bag and came to a FL property. Oh my god, this place is simply too suitable for terrorist attacks. The buildings are towering into the clouds, airtight, highly dense and crowded. Thinking of this, the terrorist guy showed a long-lost smile at the corner of his mouth. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a few security guards with batons rushed out and beat him up from head to toe: "You want to safeguard rights, you want to petition……" As evidence, the bag was confiscated.
A few days later, a loud noise at the Fuli headquarters, injuring several people. Fuli claimed it was due to the construction of air defense projects……
The fifth terrorist was preparing to attack public transportation. After waiting for dozens of minutes in the crowded Sports Center Bus Station, he finally waited for a bus. However, the not too crowded car couldn't be boarded no matter how hard he tried. Someone has been at the door, seemingly paying money, and seemingly asking for directions…… Reluctantly, the terrorist guy took out 2 yuan to help that person pay the fare. As a result, that person got off and left.莫名其妙 got on the bus. The about-to-success terrorist guy was about to press the remote control in his pocket, but found that the pocket had been cut open a big hole, and everything inside was gone. Turning around again, the bag was gone……
Many days later, a loud noise came from Huadu. Fortunately, no one was injured. It was said that it was caused by improper charging of counterfeit mobile phone batteries causing an explosion.......
The newspaper finally reported: The police and the people joined hands, and anti-terrorism was effective
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DOS倒下了,但永远不死
DOS NEVER DIES !
投票调查:
http://www.cn-dos.net/forum/viewthread.php?tid=46187
本人尚未解决的疑难问题:
http://www.cn-dos.net/forum/viewthread.php?tid=15135
http://www.cn-dos.net/forum/viewthread.php?tid=47663
http://www.cn-dos.net/forum/viewthread.php?tid=48747 |
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2006-10-23 01:38 |
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feihuwang
新手上路

积分 11
发帖 6
注册 2006-10-23
状态 离线
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『第 12 楼』:
使用 LLM 解释/回答一下
看过是够搞笑的哈
It's quite funny to have seen it, ha
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2006-10-23 05:41 |
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zjhzsd2005
新手上路

积分 19
发帖 10
注册 2006-10-23
状态 离线
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『第 13 楼』:
使用 LLM 解释/回答一下
以前见过
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I have seen it before
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2006-11-4 01:01 |
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liuxike
新手上路

积分 8
发帖 3
注册 2006-10-18
状态 离线
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『第 14 楼』:
使用 LLM 解释/回答一下
同意!!!!!批准向全国村级以上单位传达学习。。。。。
Agreed!!!!! Approve to convey and study to units above the village level nationwide......
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2006-11-4 11:27 |
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jieok3375
中级用户
  
积分 282
发帖 130
注册 2006-9-20 来自 广东
状态 离线
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2006-11-5 00:42 |
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