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雨露 
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『楼 主』:
 白领最痛恨的四大发明
 
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白领最痛恨的第一大发明是打卡机  
 
据说打卡机是IBM发明的,自从有了打卡机这玩意,需要天天上班的白领就没过上一天好日子。有两个行为艺术家,曾做过一个著名的实验,让一位白领,一年之内什么也不要干,就是每一小时打一次卡。结果是这位白领被折磨得送进了精神病院。  
 
白领最痛恨的第二大发明是方便面  
 
方便面是小日本的四大发明之一(其它三大发明是:卡拉OK,随身听和电子游戏机)。民以食为天,但自有了方便面,,白领的生活质素便直线下降,十个白领九个菜色。品牌的最高境界是既有知名度,也有美誉度。但方便面品牌是难得有美誉度的。每逢看到一家老少三代在合家团圆的春节每人手捧一碗方便面为大家賀岁的广告时,总觉得老板的脑袋真是进水了。大年三十,锦衣华服同吃方便面的三代同堂之家还是爹死娘嫁人各人顾各人为好。对于白领来说,被老板勒令加班,独自吃方便面的时候,杀了老板的心都会有。此时此刻,方便面的广告效果约等于零。  
 
白领最痛恨的第三大发明是床垫  
 
主要指可折叠的单人床垫。据说二十世纪七十年代,在美国硅谷的高科技公司里,可折叠的单人床垫曾大行其道。床是伴随人类时间最久的伴侣:人们生于斯,爱于斯,死于斯。但自席梦思始,床垫有了独立的法人地位。不用上床,也可以睏觉。这就给了老板要求员工通宵达旦加班以借口。当白领看到同事从座位底下扯出床垫的时候,尤其是听说有同事因过劳而“床垫裹尸还”的时候,那心中的悲愤可想而知。  
 
白领最痛恨的第四大发明是手机  
 
如今手机已经取代了床垫成为了中国人最亲密的伙伴。调查显示,中国人离开家门后,往回走的最多原因是“忘记了带手机”;而让美国人离开家门后,往回走的最多原因是“不放心孩子”。由此得出的结论有两个,一是中国人比美国人忙多了,更担心别人找不到自己;二是美国家长比中国人更关心孩子。至于冯小刚据此得出了第三个结论:中国男人怕手机落在老婆手里,那是小人之心度君子之腹,难怪惹得正直的小崔同志大光其火。  
 
白领痛恨手机的主要原因是失去了私人时间,没有了上下班之分,尤其是老板要求24小时不许关机的工作。据说中国某移动通讯公司正在向单位推销一种用于管理销售人员和外勤人员的带GPS全球定位仪的手机,老板坐在办公室即可对手下的行踪了如指掌。虽然白领痛恨手机但又离不开手机,可谓爱恨交集,唯一的解决之道就是尽量不用公司提供的手机,白领晋身为金领的一个标志就是拥有两部手机,并不是歌里所唱的“等我发了财,买俩大哥大;左手诺基亚,右手摩托罗拉”,而是一部对公手机,一部因私手机。当然,最高的境界是不用手机,谁有李嘉诚打手机的照片可发给我,高价征求。 
The number one invention hated by white-collar workers is the time clock.  
 
It is said that the time clock was invented by IBM. Since the advent of this thing, white-collar workers who have to go to work every day have never had a good day. There were two performance artists who once conducted a famous experiment where a white-collar worker was asked to do nothing for a year except clock in every hour. The result was that the white-collar worker was tortured and sent to a mental hospital.  
 
The second invention hated by white-collar workers is instant noodles. Instant noodles are one of Japan's four great inventions (the other three are: karaoke, walkman, and video game). Food is the first necessity of the people, but since the advent of instant noodles, the quality of life of white-collar workers has plummeted. Nine out of ten white-collar workers look gaunt. The highest level of a brand is to have both popularity and good reputation. But it is rare for instant noodle brands to have a good reputation. Whenever seeing an advertisement where three generations of a family hold a bowl of instant noodles to celebrate the New Year together during the family reunion Spring Festival, I always feel that the boss's head must have gone wrong. On New Year's Eve, a three-generation family eating instant noodles in elegant clothes and fine robes is better off each taking care of themselves. For white-collar workers, when ordered by the boss to work overtime and eat instant noodles alone, they would even have the heart to kill the boss. At this moment, the advertising effect of instant noodles is approximately zero.  
 
The third invention hated by white-collar workers is the mattress. Mainly referring to the foldable single mattress. It is said that in the 1970s, foldable single mattresses were very popular in high-tech companies in Silicon Valley, the United States. The bed is the companion that has been with human beings for the longest time: people are born in it, love in it, and die in it. But since the invention of the Simmons mattress, the mattress has had an independent legal status. You can sleep without getting into bed. This gives the boss an excuse to require employees to work overtime all night. When white-collar workers see colleagues pulling out mattresses from under their seats, especially when hearing that some colleagues have "returned in a mattress due to overwork", the indignation in their hearts can be imagined.  
 
The fourth invention hated by white-collar workers is the mobile phone. Nowadays, the mobile phone has replaced the mattress as the closest companion of Chinese people. Surveys show that the most common reason for Chinese people to go back home after leaving the house is "forgetting to bring the mobile phone"; while the most common reason for Americans to go back home after leaving the house is "not being at ease with the children". From this, two conclusions are drawn: one is that Chinese people are much busier than Americans and are more worried about others not being able to find themselves; the other is that American parents care more about their children than Chinese parents. As for Feng Xiaogang drawing the third conclusion: Chinese men are afraid that the mobile phone will fall into their wives' hands, that is being too suspicious, no wonder it made the upright Comrade Xiao Cui very angry.  
 
The main reason why white-collar workers hate the mobile phone is losing private time, having no distinction between work and off-duty time, especially when the boss requires the mobile phone to be on 24/7. It is said that a certain Chinese mobile communication company is promoting a mobile phone with a GPS global positioning system for managing sales staff and field staff to units, so that the boss can know the whereabouts of subordinates at a glance from the office. Although white-collar workers hate the mobile phone but can't live without it, it is a love-hate relationship. The only solution is to try not to use the mobile phone provided by the company. One sign that a white-collar worker becomes a golden-collar worker is having two mobile phones. It is not like the song says "When I get rich, I'll buy two big brothers; left Nokia, right Motorola", but one for official use and one for personal use. Of course, the highest level is not using a mobile phone. If anyone has a photo of Li Ka-shing making a phone call, please send it to me, and I will offer a high price. 
    
 
  
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  2006-12-8 07:55 | 
  
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cjxxt 
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『第 2 楼』:
 
 
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呵呵,想了想我快要毕业了啊,在看你这贴有点害怕啊 
Hehe, after thinking about it, I'm about to graduate. Looking at your post makes me a bit scared. 
    
 
  
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  2006-12-8 23:02 | 
  
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zhoushijie 
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  2006-12-11 09:22 | 
  
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heewing 
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『第 4 楼』:
 
 
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偶一个都不怕,因为偶不是白领啊 
I am not afraid of any one, because I am not a white-collar worker 
    
 
  
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  2006-12-15 06:35 | 
  
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gzpyhkh 
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『第 5 楼』:
 
 
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谁有李嘉诚打手机的照片可发给我,高价征求 
Who has photos of Li Ka-shing using a mobile phone? I'm offering a high price to get them. 
    
 
  
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  2006-12-15 10:46 | 
  
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CHINAWY0007 
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  2006-12-21 05:55 | 
  
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bw070 
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  2007-5-15 23:21 | 
  
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prodigall 
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『第 8 楼』:
 
 
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偶不是白领 
但也怕以上东东 
I'm not a white-collar worker 
But I'm also afraid of the above things 
    
 
  
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  2007-6-16 18:29 | 
  
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pclan 
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『第 9 楼』:
 
 
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"最高的境界是不用手机"这句话说得好!!!! 
"The highest state is to not use a mobile phone" This statement is good!!!!! 
    
 
  
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  2007-6-17 12:52 | 
  
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wudixin96 
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  2007-7-13 14:28 | 
  
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mike5149 
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  2007-7-28 13:26 | 
  
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Runas 
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  2007-8-1 02:15 | 
  
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wmc6432107 
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  2007-9-13 00:39 | 
  
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juelee 
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『第 14 楼』:
 
 
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现在有患手机病的趋势,还是趁早丢掉手机 
Now there is a trend of having mobile phone disease, it is better to get rid of the mobile phone as soon as possible 
    
 
  
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  2007-9-13 10:32 | 
  
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qinbuer 
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『第 15 楼』:
 
 
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有点意思 
 
    
 
  
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                    我确实是只菜鸟,而且这里X人太多,所以我不敢装X。谁要再说我装X,我就XXOO他。 |   
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  2007-9-13 12:24 | 
  
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